This is why John McCain will win the presidency: All of his exciting sex scandals happened 50 years ago, and since then he’s pretty much confined his misdoings to dull and complicated campaign finance/influence peddling bullshit that nobody cares about. We defy you to watch this very informative attack ad without falling asleep 15 times. How boring is this ad? So boring that in spite of the fact that it’s called “Tainted” we could only manufacture one tiny joke about Ralph Reed’s monstrous, world-devouring taint. Please Jesus let Vicki Iseman be knocked up with a little walnut-cheeked hellion so the DNC can make better ads. [YouTube]

Now that America is about finished with New York and its terrible sordid sex scandals, a nation turns its lonely eyes to New Jersey for more smut. And New Jersey delivers! Remember that other governor who had to resign because he slept with some non-wife sort of person? It turns out former New Jersey Governor James McGreevey maybe used to have sex with his wife and some other dude, at the same time. Worse yet, these unspeakable acts allegedly followed weekly dinners at T.G.I. Friday’s. MORE »