Tag Archives: whatever

  don't revenge! Reload!

Noted Historian Sarah Palin Thinks Barack Obama Is Just Like Robespierre, If She Knew Who Robespierre Was

Former half-term GILF and current Facebook celebrity Sarah Palin thinks Barack Obama is a very bad man. What did the Kenyan Usurper do this time? He said “Voting is the best revenge.” As you can imagine, this is the biggest threat the Republic has ever known except for that one time some New Black Panthers held the door to the polling place open for an old white lady. Read more on Noted Historian Sarah Palin Thinks Barack Obama Is Just Like Robespierre, If She Knew Who Robespierre Was…
  a modern major-muslim

‘Barack Obama’ Sings About Dog Poo In New Gilbert and Sullivan Opera

We are tired of Election News and Racism, so how about a fun Arts & Culture story? Someone discovered a secret, previously unreleased Gilbert and Sullivan sequel to The Pirates of Penzance, and then made a music video for it. Is this another opera about goofy pirates, in two acts? No, this is a romantic Aria song about Barack Obama, and how he smokes like a chimney and has to clean up doggy doo doo. Stop pretending to be busy. Put on your opera monocle and watch this crazy shit. Read more on ‘Barack Obama’ Sings About Dog Poo In New Gilbert and Sullivan Opera…
  stars of the senate

Ted Kennedy Throws First Pitch At Red Sox Opening Game

Oh boy we better not make a funny about this or fuckface porn addict David Denby may be compelled to shit out another $15.95 pamphlet about how the Internet has ruined his dinner with Michael Kinsley. So, here is “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” star Ted Kennedy just cold bein’ alive and outside and throwing a baseball, which is an American Tradition. UPDATE: Oh Red Lasso can go to HELL. Much better/insane YouTube version now in place. Read more on Ted Kennedy Throws First Pitch At Red Sox Opening Game…
  october surprise

Your Guide To America’s New War In Syria

Finally, the October Surprise! (Ashley Todd’s cut-nut negroid fantasies were in no way worthy of the title.) We have a war, of sorts, in Syria! Who knows why or anything. It’s the Kissinger Doctrine all over again: Just bomb shit, everywhere, whenever you feel like it. Who’s gonna stop you, HEHNGHH? Read more on Your Guide To America’s New War In Syria…
  oh what in the hell

Uh, Here’s a Video of McCain and Obama Dancing

Oh sure, here’s some of that “CGI” used to make Batman movies, but today used to make this creepy video of Obama and McCain having a dance contest. Thanks, we think, to Wonkette commenter supreme AngryBlakGuy. Read more on Uh, Here’s a Video of McCain and Obama Dancing…
  suspend this

TROPICAL STORMS TO FINISH OFF WALL ST., CONGRESS, WHITE HOUSE, ETC. “Tropical Storm Kyle formed in the Atlantic, while a system farther north took aim at Washington, New York and other cities along the U.S. East Coast, forecasters said.” [Bloomberg] Read more on …
  just kidding!

St. Paul Bravely Drops Charges Against Reporters At Republican Convention

During the weird hurricane prayer service/unveiling of Sarah Palin trade show in St. Paul a few weeks back — which feels like exactly One Thousand Years ago — there were also some street protests. And the “Minnesota Nice” armored clone-army SWAT monster cops arrested some 800 ne’er-do-wells and guttersnipes for marching around and, in one kind of pathetic incident, throwing some Clorox on the slacks of an elderly delegate. Anyway, there were some News Reporters (liberals) out there just cold reportin’ on the action, and the mean cops arrested a bunch of them! Read more on St. Paul Bravely Drops Charges Against Reporters At Republican Convention…
  what economy?

Sarah Palin Even Lies About Lipstick! (Maybe)

Oh dudes here is a SCURRILOUS RUMOR we just received, possibly from somebody in America’s Meth/Tattoo Capital of Wasilla, Alaska. The email is, uh, difficult to follow. But the central claim is this: Sarah Palin doesn’t even put that lipstick on her mouth, because it’s a TATTOO. Oh jesus christ, she is so gross, especially if this is true. Read more on Sarah Palin Even Lies About Lipstick! (Maybe)…
  tgif

McCain-Spears 2008

Hey, it’s still Friday, so here’s some of that “fun” you people don’t like so much. Walnuts! has a running mate, and she’s also a has-been burnout. [Barely Political]
  all magazines all the time

Hillary Clinton Is Greatest Politician Since Pericles

Here’s yet another profile from another New York magazine that we read due to boredom, although this magazine is literally called New York. This story is about your favorite recluse, Hillary Clinton, and the last days of her campaign. The writer gets many interviews with her, too! The gist of the story is that because of her utter failure as a politician, strategist and manager for the first year of her campaign, followed by her complete switch to manipulation, demagoguery, lies and pandering after her loss was almost mathematically sealed, Hillary Clinton at this very moment is a “Superstar,” the greatest fucking mammal this world has seen or will ever know. Read more on Hillary Clinton Is Greatest Politician Since Pericles…