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Tag: westboro baptist church

Common mistake!

Westboro Baptist Church Knows Paris Attacks Happened Because God Hates Frogs

Hip hooray, the Phelps family of Westboro Baptist Church has offered to lend a hand in the aftermath of the Paris attacks! So of course, they're doing Christ-like things like sending money and medical care and HAHA JUST FOOLIN'. Instead,...

Kansas Teacher Does The Gay Agenda To Kids, Refuses To Resign In Shame

Welcome to Kansas, where the deer and the antelope play, the cows had voting rights before the women, and you're not supposed to be nice to the homosexuals. So there's a middle school social studies teacher in Conway Springs, Kansas,...
But I thought I hated fags real good too!

Nice Christian Protesters Say Kim Davis Is Big Whore, Going To Hell Probably

Do you need something to make you LOL on this Monday? Well, that's why you're at Wonkette, obviously, but for real though. Because even if we didn't make all the hilarious jokes about it, you would still be ROFLMAOing...
New county clerk much nicer than the last.

It’s A Nice Day To Kentucky Marry Your Gay Homosexual Lover!

Yr Wonkette loves stories with happy endings, and yr Wonkette loves getting married! You know that thing that Editrix Becca did, when she Montana-married her heterosexual lover? Well, due to how SOMEBODY is currently doing a little jail time...
Just another member of the Lone Wolf Freedom Shooty Brigade Of Lone Wolves

Lafayette Shooter Was Teabaggin’, Gay-Hatin’, Hitler-Lovin’ Fool, THANKS OBAMA!

If the online footprint of the Lafayette shooter identified by police as John Russell Houser, who killed two and injured nine others during a Thursday night showing of Amy Schumer's Trainwreck before then killing himself, is any indication, Obama has...
HELP, JESUS!

Wingnuts Very Upset That Gay Jihadists Just Did 9/11 To America

When news broke that the Supreme Court had forcibly crammed gay marriage down the throatholes of every God-fearing American, our first instinct (AFTER CRYING) was go check Bryan Fischer's Twitter-Twatter page. And he had said nothing! "WAKE UP, BRYAN...
God hates logic

Westboro Baptists Beam Down To Wrong Coordinates, Miss Spock’s Funeral

While Vulcans would never stoop to the human emotional response of laughter, we know that Spock would wryly raise an eyebrow in appreciation of the absurdity (no, not irony, don't you dare say it was ironic) of the Westboro...
Don't act like you're not impressed

Kansas Lets Its Freak Flag Fly

The horses are thoroughly spooked in Kansas, where the Westboro Baptist Church is turning over a new leaf just in time for a giant state-sanctioned dildo sale. Local sources say it's still unclear whether a state-sanctioned dildo sale is...

Super Gay Super Nice Time: Principal Comes Out To Students, Irritates Westboro Church To No End

Welcome to June! June is the most homosexxican month ever, thanks to Stonewall actually factually having happened at the end of the month and all, so there is much Gay Proudness throughout the entire 30-day span. Thankfully, that affords...

Fred Phelps Is In Heaven Now, Calling The Apostles Faggots

Wait, you are saying, how could the world's most out-and-proud bigot, who purposely inflicted emotional pain on the innocent, be in HEAVEN? Wonket, this must be that "satire" or "snark" of which we've heard so much? Sorry dudes, but...

What If Fundamentalist Christians Cared About Other Things God Hates?

Like most of you, I do find fundamentalist Christians amusing, like clowns. Such merry puppets, spinning around and around!  Sometimes, however, it seems like they've gone into reruns: it's all gays, gays, gays, and fetuses, fetuses, fetuses all the...

Porn Band Videos Nekkid Bass Player On Westboro Baptist Church’s Lawn, Shocking No One

In a fortuitous conjunction of publicity whores, Get Shot!, a California band billing itself as "the sleaziest punk band in the world," has shot a two-minute video of its bass player lying on a blanket and masturbating on the...

Gay Satanists Pull A Romney All Over Fred Phelps’s Mom

Do you see these pretty ladies kissing, on the grave of Fred Phelps's mom? Well, BOOM! Now she is gay, in the afterlife. It is true, according to the Satanic Temple, and if you can't believe the Satanic Temple, who...

Your Monday Nice Time: Teamster Thugs Block Westboro Idjits From Victim’s Funeral

The God-Hates-Everyone ('Cept For Me And My Monkey) crowd from Westboro Baptist Church announced on Twitter that it planned to picket the funerals of the Boston Marathon bombing victims this week, so members of Teamsters Local 25 sent...

Wait A Minute, Did You Know The Westboro Baptist Church Girls Are Super Pretty?

So today Buzzfeed is all "Blah blah blah these girls left the Westboro Baptist Church and are sort of vaguely sorry they hurt people's feelings when they screamed God hates fags a million times per second and also Muslins...

Wingnuts Can’t Even Agree On Best Way To Hate Fags Anymore

As we at Wonkette are obviously a pro-family, conservative Christian news establishment, we long for the days when Americans of all stripes could come together to show our mutual disdain for the Homosexican Agenda, but now that 'Murka has...