west virginia
Pepper spray was a-spraying, knives were a-stabbing, guns were a-shooting, muggers were a-mugging, punchers were a-punching — it was a “Black Friday” celebration that truly proved if you’re not a part of the worldwide anti-corporate protests, then you’re actually a very stinky part of the problem. But the Gold Medal in Applied Assjerk Consumerism goes [...]
Sen. Joe Manchin saw some Republican candidates in the midterms using heated rhetoric about using their guns on people, so he decided he had to do it too. So he went hunting for a wild cap-and-trade bill on some coon trail and shot it in slow motion with his sexy shotgun. Did he field dress [...]
“While I believe the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy will be repealed someday, and probably should be repealed in the near future, I do not support its repeal at this time,” Manchin said in the statement. “I truly understand that my position will anger those who believe repeal should happen now and for that I [...]
HUNTINGTON — A man and woman are charged with stealing a motorized shopping cart from Wal-Mart and driving it to and from a neighboring strip club early Monday morning. This is not about West Virginia. This is about the OBAMA ECONOMY. And this is Obama making cuts to the scooter parts of our Medicare so [...]
Republicans in the Senate are trying to lure a few Democrats into switching parties and giving them a majority, because apparently they want more responsibility for this crappy economy while not being able to get any of their dumb laws past Obama. First up on the list is apparently Joe Manchin, presumably because all you [...]
In other, non-election (?) news from West Virginia, this apparently happened: According to the complaint, Danny and Watson told Mellinger that Melissa came to the apartment intoxicated, asked each of them to perform a sexual act on her and took off her pants and underwear, which Mellinger observed lying on the floor at her feet. [...]
Watch the videos, and vote for your favorite. One contest voter will win a Joe Manchin autographed toy laser blaster. This is how you close out a campaign: shore up the base of mountain people who taped that Stars Wars off the teevee 20 years ago. [Joe Manchin]
Joe Manchin is West Virginia’s governor. That’s right, they’ve got a governor! And here we all thought West Virginia was just a welfare district of the Senate, because literally the only income ever generated in the state’s history was from Robert Byrd and, to a lesser extent in the 1920s, moonshine sales. But look at [...]
The NRSC has been forced to pull an ad from the airwaves and Internets featuring a few hicks at a local diner talking about the Senate race in West Virginia. Normally nobody in Washington or West Virginia would think twice about this, because West Virginia is full of hicks, and everyone knows that. But Democrats [...]
We already know that nobody who worked for George W. Bush ever committed any kind of war crimes or did anything illegal in starting the Iraq War, because surely if they had the Democrats who control the Congress and the White House would have done something about it. Now we also learn that, when all [...]
With handsome devil Carte Goodwin scheduled to be sworn in as Robert Byrd’s seat-warming replacement sometime today, Democrats (plus the reliable communist ladies from Maine) should be able to break the Republican filibuster and get that lucrative government money flowing to the unemployed again, huzzah! Plus they plan to spend the whole midterm campaigning telling [...]
West Virginia Gov. Joe Manchin is “tapping” his 36-year-old former chief counsel Carte Goodwin to hold Robert Byrd’s Senate seat smokin’ hot for him until Manchin runs for it himself in a special election in November. So this Carte man will be the one to vote to continue your unemployment benefits, sexily, though not quite [...]
BP’s futuristic space-age technobox dingus has gone nearly two whole days without leaking, or exploding, or going crazy and bursting off its mooring and burrowing further into the sea floor and opening up yet another leaky hole in the Earth’s crust, which probably means that this whole thing has been solved and you can stop [...]
Everyone who misses the Cold War, with its moral simplicity and its ever-present threat of complete nuclear annihilation, is over the moon this morning as America and the Russians kicked it old school and swapped spies! America gave up ten sexy suburban Russian spies for a bunch of Russians who had actually spied for America. [...]
