Wonkette

Meet General Wesley Clark, the secret GOP operative with the black, beady eyes of a born sociopath. (Or Jim Lehrer.) After spending four years windsurfing with John Kerry in Hell, he came back to remind America why he should never open his yap on the teevee. This weekend on Face the Nation, he said that John McCain’s experience riding in a fighter plane did not translate into preparation for executive office — which, while completely true, met with utterly predictable outrage. MORE »

This week, General Petraeus, James Carville, Wesley Clark, Donald Rumsfeld, Henry Kissinger, Sam Brownback, and Mary Cheney were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump.

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Jonathan Kaplan on Wesley Clark: “His endurance is strong and his strokes are solid, particularly his freestyle and backstroke.” [The Hill]

In a heartbreaking profile at Politico.com today, Wesley Clark wistfully speaks of his forgotten presidential campaign, which apparently was semi-announced in February. “I think about running every single day,” says Clark. Tragically, he is the only person who thinks about this. MORE »

* Mitt Romney would drive a stake through Mother Earth’s bare breast before he’d let his Nantucket buddies summer on an obstructed-view island. [New Standard]
* Iranians took British sailors captive to spite Bush, says guy whose every published word has been wrong. [Today's Zaman]
* Wall Street Journal editorial page on way better terms with Satan than Chris Mathews or Nancy Grace. [Political Animal]
* Little Wesley Clark unimpressed by the size of Rudy’s balls. [Intelligencer]
* Dennis Kucinich loves being broke. [Wizbang Politics]
* Only best and brightest watch Colbert, Lehrer. [Think Progress]
* The Politico: Boy, does it blow. [The Carpetbagger Report]
* Got GWOT? [Passport]

Wesley Clark’s vague recollections of the 2004 presidential race reveal a sad, shell-shocked man who needs to seek help immediately. MORE »

* Gore’s gonna run, Gore’s gonna run, Gore’s gonna run — psyche! [Hotline on Call]
* Christopher Shays is a gay necrophiliac. [The Swamp]
* John Edwards gets endorsed by a not-gay former governor of New Jersey. [Election Central]
* Super Tuesday is for punk bitches — 2008’s gonna have Uber-Jumbo Tuesday Exxxtreme. [Political Insider]
* Even Bill Richardson’s mom doesn’t think he can win. [Poltical Wire]
* Wesley Clark hates the Iran war, so does his website. [YouTube]
* USA Today is building the newspaper of the future, just in time for all their readers to keel over and die. [BuzzMachine]

A Wonkette Operative was in attendance at the DNC retreat today, and she reports on what entrance music each ‘08 candidate used when addressing the assembled Dems. MORE »

* The “100 hours” plan is dead before it begun, as Democrats will now focus on the “elephantine gorilla” that is Iraq. [WP]
* And by “focus on,” they mean, “do everything possible to stop a troop surge.” [WP]
* With little Wesley Clark doing his part too. [WP]
* Broadly written anti-terror laws are proving disastrous for asylum seekers, even Gary Bauer agrees. [WP]
* Chief Justice John Roberts is deeply troubled about the “constitutional crisis” of federal judges forced to mortgage their mansions. [WP]
* Joe Biden signs on to provide the comic relief for the Democratic Presidential primaries. [NYT]
* Charlie Rangel is all smiles about chairing Ways ‘n Means. [NYT]
* Frothy mouthed hordes of hot-pink fanny packers can’t wait to swarm the half billion-dollar Capitol visitor center. [NYT]

• Republican congressman keeps day job after trying hand at blogging, comedy. [The Hill Blog]

• Two-and-a-half years in office and Schwarzenegger is still shocked by how redneck California actually is. [AP]
• If Kos is getting paid to hate Lieberman then his credibility will be, well, about the same as ours. [The Nation]
• Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah gives $1.5 billion, with a “b,” to aid Lebanese reconstruction efforts; feels the same way you do after dropping a nickel on the street. [AKI]
• Jon Stewart is so predictable you can set your binge drinking by him. [Comedy Central] MORE »

How did ‘08 hopefuls impress the Yearly Kos attendees? Here’s the bribe-list, per Michael Scherer at Salon: MORE »

’cause I was sittin’ there bored to death… MORE »

(Wow, this “blogging” thing has really jumped the shark — just as the expession “jumped the shark” has jumped the shark. As has the gimmick of excessive meta-ness. Forget Rumsfeld, we’re going to submit our resignations now…) MORE »

* Reliable Source: Bush twins and Henry Hager ran “incognito” in a Richmond marathon on Saturday. . . Jack Kemp, Terry McAuliffe, and Wesley Clark show up at GQ book party. [WP]
* Inside the Beltway: Jack Abramoff’s attorney says his client will get out of jail earlier than expected. . . Rep. Tom DeLay just one month ago: “The reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. I’m still very much alive.”. . . Actor Seth Green: “The Democratic Party just sits and waits… The Republicans are just more focused and organized.” [WT]
* Inside Politics: Sen. Barack Obama has “rock-star-like appearance” in Vermont. . . MoveOn.org ads that link Republican lawmakers to energy and oil interests are banned by two NBC stations. . . Rep. Cynthia McKinney acknowledges misuse of funds to pay for airfare for Isaac Hayes. [WT]