Tag: welfare queens

That's his "I'm going to pull over this car!" face.

Speaker Paul Ryan Will Swat Donald Trump On His Bottom For Being Naughty Racist

If there's one thing that makes Republicans say "Oh my stars!" and "Well I never!" it is racism. STOP LAUGHING, we are not done writing this lede yet. As we all know, Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King, Jr....
The drugs are hidden SOMEWHERE, Tennessee Republicans just KNOWS it.

Tennessee Poors Refuse To Be Drug-Addicted Welfare Queens, Unfair!

If you are a Republican lawmaker in these US-es of America, you are absolutely certain that somewhere, a bunch of people are lazying around on their fat asses using their free Obamaphones to order 'spensive lobster from Amazon Prime, and then...
Giggling about what an asshole he is.

Gov. Sam Brownback Only Raised Taxes On Poors, So It Doesn’t Count, Right?

You know that thing about how Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback is the worst governor in the entire galaxy, and how he bankrupted Kansas with his fucked up tax cuts for the wealthy, but then Kansas voters reelected him because...
Baby did a bad bad thing.

Jeb Bush: Let’s Get Rid Of Unwed Whores By Making Fun Of Them In Public

Try to contain all your surprise, but Jeb Bush has been A Idiot for a LONG TIME. We know about his recent string of fuckups -- "Knowing what we know of knowing about Iraq and stuff and things, it...

Anti-Obamacare Sheriff Still Hates Obamacare, Says Thank You Libtards For All The Moneys!

We were so excited to hear that the virulently anti-Obamacare Sheriff Richard Mack, whose ass Wonkette readers helped bail out since he has a ton of medical bills and refuses to buy insurance, was on the HuffPostLive. "Oh great,"...

Liberal Institute For Policy Study Lies About Rich People With Clever Use Of ‘Math’

Hey 47%ers! Feeling frustrated with your shitty, under-paying, going nowhere faster than a tax bill in Congress career? (Haha, what's a "career"?) Just in case you were having a less than raged out rampagey day, The Institute for Policy...

Mitt Romney Totally Loves Welfare Now, You Guys

A weak, vacillating politician -- one not fit to be a leader -- would express a politically unpalatable position in a private setting, but then retract it when it becomes public. A strong leader would explain that, while...

Georgia Lege Goes For Gold In Wingnut Olympics

Crossover Day! Crossover Day! A day when every possible batshit mean curbjob-the-welfare-Cadillac-Queens bill simply MUST get passed in order to avoid NOobAma's death panels. What delights does Newtonia have in store for us, as it gets all slick and...

Wonkette Exclusive: Joe Miller Runs Screeching From Simple Question

Alaskan Senate hopeful and semi-bearded teabagger Joe Miller literally ran away from a question about his disabled-veteran status during last night's "Meet and Greet" session in Anchorage. In a roomful of 50 people -- most supporters and well wishers...

PRESIDENT OBAMA WON'T BE BUYING CARS FOR YOU WELFARE QUEENS ANYMORE: The "Cash for Clunkers" program is going to expire any day now, so you will just have to pay for your new Honda Fit all by yourself, like...

Bermuda Uighurs Are Lazy Welfare Queens

Hot damn it's a good thing the United States refused to allow "these Uighur characters" to resettle in Northern Virginia because, aside from all the terrorism they were planning to plan in your backyard, against you, they are shiftless...

Jobless Bush Administration Losers Reduced To Retail, Excited About Welfare Benefits

Like so many young Washington residents in this brutal economy, Wonkette operative "Nicorette St. Monstre" (if that is her real name) has some unemployed bums for roommates. One such jobless loser worked in the Bush Administration until whatever happened...