welfare

Arizona Superintendent of Public Instruction John Huppenthal held a news conference Thursday where he apologized — an actual “I’m sorry” apology, not a “sorry you were offended” apology — and “renounced and repudiated” his anonymously posted comments on political blogs, saying that the comments had been hurtful and that the revelation that he’d written them […]

Doctor Ben Carson, the neurosurgeon who thinks Obamacare is the worst thing since slavery, went on “The View” Tuesday and explained how we can Save America: “We have to help re-educate people about what America is,” a turn of phrase surely that no wingnut would ever freak out about. Perhaps camps could even be provided […]

Oh man, guys, this Cliven Bundy thing is getting out of control. Despite his blatant racism and strong desire for the government to keep their hands off his welfare cattle, Cliven Bundy STILL has supporters. And not only do they support Bundy being a total moocher, they HATE Harry Reid. And now, these ‘domestic terrorists’ […]

Wait, hold on just a minute, everybody! Turns out that Cliven Bundy is not an actual racist; he just said some stuff that the liberal media twisted all out of context to make it sound a lot more racist than it was, which was only a little bit racist, or something. Foamy exploding pigdoot Pat […]

Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. Jesus looked around and said to […]

It’s Tax Day, which means political entities everywhere are scrambling to graft their agendas onto something with the word “tax” in it, so people who are frantically asking their internets “what for i owe so much taxis?” will give them their email addresses. Us here, we got this nice thing in our email, says “TAXPAYERS DELIVER […]

Allen West’s terrible new book is finally out, although the cover photo has been kicking around since November. Frankly, when we saw articles about West’s “new book” we thought maybe this was a rushed sequel. But no, it just turns out that West’s exciting memoirfesto, Guardian of the Republic: An American Ronin’s Journey to Faith, […]

Paul Ryan is in the news for lying again, and Wonkette helped break the story, go us! The Washington Post cited yr Editrix’s post about a comment on this TPM story that noted how Paul Ryan’s tale of a young boy who preferred the brown-bagged love of his parents to the hard cheese of socialism was […]

Here is a fun fact: when Poors have less money, they spend less money. Also, when you give people money, they spend more money. However, when you punish  poor people by withholding their money to spend on food they have less money to spend on food, so they spend less money on food. The end result is not, […]

Oh, Louie Gohmert, you are just the greatest gift to political laughter we have ever seen. Thank goodness for your dedication to keeping the poors in their place. And in fact, in this impassioned commemoration of the 50th anniversary of Lyndon Johnson’s ‘War on Poverty’ speech, Mr. Gohmert reveals what inspired him to get into […]

Well, here is some happy news for 2014. The GOP is losing another battle in one of it’s ongoing wars. Are we talking about the war on women? No. How about the war on health care? Nope. War on Christmas? No, not that war either (we know — so many wars to keep track of). […]

A big congratulatory rubber-gloved handshake to Tennessee state Sen. Stacey Campfield, our inaugural winner of the Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year Award, State Legislator Division. And indeed, who more fitting than the very man who inspired the creation of the award? And so we doff our leather kitten headgear to you, Insert Name Here Stacey […]

The House is calling it a session today and won’t resume tormenting us until November 12, praise The Great Pumpkin. In the meantime, an automatic, across-the-board $5 billion reduction in the SNAP food assistance program will take effect November 1, when a provision of the 2009 stimulus expires. Obviously it makes zero sense to let this […]

Sometimes when we open up the ol’ comment queue, that limbo where new would-be Wonketteers must first prove they are neither spam nor complete teabagging idiots, we feel like the Medieval Marxist’s wife: “Oooh, Dennis! There’s some lovely filth down ‘ere!” And so it was with two messages from “JustinHuman,” who just wanted us to […]

Elizabeth Hasselbeck is doing a pretty great job as Fox & Friends’ new Gretchen. Like, first, she totally has blond hair. Second, she is also possessed of a vag. Third, she can completely say idiotic things about whatever Fox wants her to say idiotic things about, and today that idiotic thing is the Poors.