Tag Archives: welfare

  Nope not that either

Kansas Plan To F*ck The Poors Somehow Costing Millions, Is That Bad?

Oops
Kansas Republicans had a terrific plan to turn their state into the best state EVER, with tax cuts for the rich and — well, that was mostly the plan. Surprise! It hasn’t worked, and not just because the evil liberal media said mean things about Gov. Sam Brownback. Read more on Kansas Plan To F*ck The Poors Somehow Costing Millions, Is That Bad?…
  That'll teach you to be poor

It’s Arizona’s Turn To F*ck The Poors, Again

Jesus was a fiscal conservative
Arizona is all out of money, whoops, so the Republicans who control the state have decided, in their fiscally conservative wisdom, to close the $1 billion budget gap by cutting welfare that the federal government pays for. Good plan, guaranteed to work, no? Read more on It’s Arizona’s Turn To F*ck The Poors, Again…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Welcome To The Cesspool Of Filth

No, *you're* the most basic of jokes.
It’s been a quiet week in the old deleted comments queue; we somehow managed not to trigger any long manifestos from wingnuts about sovereignty or the UN Agenda 21 plot to pollute and impurify our precious bodily fluids. We’ll try harder. We did get one notable tsk-tsk about our terrible conduct from “TheLongVersion,” who was not at all pleased with all the cruelty directed toward poor innocent George Zimmerman, who once again found himself in trouble last week: Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Welcome To The Cesspool Of Filth…
  fair's fair

Iowa Republican Happy To Give You His Own Pee So He Can Drug Test Poors

Not as fun as new car :(
Everybody who isn’t A Dumb knows that drug testing welfare recipients doesn’t actually work, because SURPRISINGLY, poor people don’t actually live by the parameters of a typical Rush Limbaugh rant about welfare queens getting high off government paychecks and smoking drugs. Shocking, we know. Of course, Republicans still love the idea because A) they DO get their worldview from those Limbaugh rants, and B) they get to shame poor people! Yay! And now Republican Jason Schultz, state senator out of Iowa, has come up with a truly loving, Christian idea, just so nobody can say they’re singling out all those poors for unfair treatment: Read more on Iowa Republican Happy To Give You His Own Pee So He Can Drug Test Poors…
  Teach us oh white people!

How Are White Wingnuts Fixing The Blacks Of Baltimore This Week?

The cats are cuter than anything you'll read in this post.
Ever since the alleged police murder of Freddie Gray and the rioting that followed, white wingnuts have been trying SO HARD to do something — anything! — to help the poor black communities of Baltimore recover and move on from this tragedy. Because they care so much, honest! Should we cut off their food stamps? Give everybody more guns, so they can Stand Their Ground? Send them all some more Jesus, and good dads like Rand Paul? Well, worry not, because there are still more turd ideas to throw at the wall, so here is this week’s roundup of White Wingnut Wisdom for Baltimorean Blacks! Read more on How Are White Wingnuts Fixing The Blacks Of Baltimore This Week?…
  another reason he'll never be president

Paul Ryan Knows Real Problem With Welfare Is How Rich Those Poor People Get Off It

Paul Ryan, high as fuck
Republican Rep. Paul Ryan is the wonky boy genius of the House of Representatives, according to his colleagues and the voice in his head, because he wrote a “budget” one time to privatize Medicare, slash welfare benefits, and tell the poors to feed themselves with their own damned bootstraps, like Jesus said. Read more on Paul Ryan Knows Real Problem With Welfare Is How Rich Those Poor People Get Off It…
  it's called "fair taxation"

You Won’t Believe How Kansas Is Paying For Rich People’s Tax Cuts (Unless You’re Not Dumb)

If he has to pay more taxes, it won't be so good to be the king anymore :(
Kansas is on a roll this month, if by “on a roll,” you mean “wow, it seems like they come up with a new way to screw poor people every single day!” What are they doing now? Oh, just trying to get poor people to pay for all the tax cuts rich people have been enjoying for several years now. Those tax cuts were, of course, supposed to make Kansas grow and thrive, but because that doesn’t actually work anywhere besides Ronald Reagan’s dead butthole, Kansas doesn’t have any money. So, let’s let poor people pay for it! This is called “fiscal responsibility,” and Kansas lawmakers are ON IT: Read more on You Won’t Believe How Kansas Is Paying For Rich People’s Tax Cuts (Unless You’re Not Dumb)…
  except no he is not

Senate Cafeteria Cook Is On Food Stamps, Must Be One Of Those Moochers GOP Always Talks About

Not an exact rendering of the Senate cafeteria.
There is a piece in The Guardian written by Bertrand Olotara, one of the many service workers who ensures that Congress even HAS a place in which to grandstand, or alternately, sit around and do nothing. Olotara is a cook in the Senate cafeteria, and he and his fellow workers, employees of a government contractor, are pissed off, and they are striking. You see, Olotara, who cooks every day for senators and their staffers (when they’re not eating free Taco Bell or Chick-Fil-A), is on food stamps, because he is a single father, and he can’t afford to put food on his family on the $12 an hour he is paid to shovel gruel into Ted Cruz’s wordhole: Read more on Senate Cafeteria Cook Is On Food Stamps, Must Be One Of Those Moochers GOP Always Talks About…
  fuck the poors

Wisconsin Rep. Will Card Poors For Food At Their Separate And Unequal Welfare Groceries

The Midwestern states sure do seem to be having a contest right now, over who can fuck the poors the baddest and the longest! Missouri gave it a shot, what with that dickhead rep who just wanted to make sure people receiving public assistance couldn’t waste it on seafood. But then Kansas totally took the lead, by passing a bill to ban poors from doing all kinds of things with their precious government-funded riches, like take Caribbean cruises. Gov. Sam Brownback signed the bill because DUH, everybody knows that poor people are always like “Oh I am busy that week, I’m going on a cruise.” But Wisconsin Rep. Jesse Kremer (R-You Knew That) has come up with some shit so demeaning to those struggling with poverty that we are kind of actually dumbfounded, which doesn’t happen often! Read more on Wisconsin Rep. Will Card Poors For Food At Their Separate And Unequal Welfare Groceries…
  Hey at least the poors are still allowed to buy guns

Who’s Winning The ‘F*ck The Poors’ Trophy This Week? It is Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback!

Don't mind me, I'm just being a complete asshole.
Welfare queens of Kansas, we are very sorry, for your worst nightmares have come true. Your governor, Sam Brownback, has signed HB 2256, which, as we reported earlier in April, makes all the changes to welfare everybody wants, but is too shy to ask for. Yes, Kansas, you shan’t have to worry ever again about those on public assistance spending all of their $429 a month on glamorous Caribbean vacations, on your dime, or on getting their palms read at Psychic Isabella’s in Kansas City. (Which exists.) You won’t have to worry about them outdoing you in the sexxxy lingerie department either! You can rest assured that they will, by law, only be wearing the same granny panties you are currently wearing. Read more on Who’s Winning The ‘F*ck The Poors’ Trophy This Week? It is Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback!…
  Madame Endora sees more poverty in your future

Kansas Will Make Sure Welfare Queens Can’t Get Their Palms Read On Caribbean Cruises

It is very tough coming up with new and creative ways to fuck the poor. A Missouri rep decided in March that he would try to do it by advancing a bill to make sure none of those gross people on SNAP benefits would be able to buy luxury items like seafood, because heaven forfend poor people (who are not actually spending money on lobster) have something healthy to eat. Read more on Kansas Will Make Sure Welfare Queens Can’t Get Their Palms Read On Caribbean Cruises…
  Who would have guessed?

States Find Cash Cow: It Is Impoverished Kids in Foster Care, Hooray!

hands off my benefits
If you are a child in foster care, things are probably not going your way. You’re not living with your parents, and a state agency is in charge of you. You’re probably very poor, and maybe you are disabled. You sure don’t look like a funding bonanza for your state, but guess what, you might be! An op-ed by University of Baltimore law professor Daniel Hatcher in the Baltimore Sun this week points out that some states, including Maryland, are using private contractors to take foster kids’ Social Security (SSI) benefits as a way to make some extra bucks. Well that is just about the worst thing we’ve ever heard. Let’s theft-splore. Read more on States Find Cash Cow: It Is Impoverished Kids in Foster Care, Hooray!…
  Ten Thousand Applicants One Cup

Welfare Drug Tests Don’t Work, So Now Republicans Want Them Everywhere

We might go see a band named 'Welfare Piss Test'
In an enormous surprise to nobody who saw it fail miserably in Florida, it turns out that drug-testing applicants for welfare doesn’t work well anywhere else, either. Think Progress reviewed the seven states that currently require applicants for Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) and found that they’re all spending a huge amount of money to “ferret out very few drug users.” Imagine that! In addition to being found unconstitutional, at least in Florida so far, the programs don’t find many drug users: a far smaller percentage than in the general population. But that’s not stopping about a dozen other states — including Montana, Texas, West Virginia, and the libertarian paradise that is Wisconsin, of course — from proposing such programs, because slapping poor people around is always politically popular. Read more on Welfare Drug Tests Don’t Work, So Now Republicans Want Them Everywhere…
  a feature not a bug

If Kansas Jumped Off A Bridge, Would Other States Do It Too? Apparently Yes!

That bridge sucked anyway.
You may be familiar with the state of Kansas, where Governor Sam Brownback and the ruling GOP have conducted what Brownback has called a “great experiment” in conservative economics. They’ve radically slashed income taxes, especially for top earners, on the theory that liberating this money will supercharge the economy; businesses will flock in, new jobs will be created, and an orgy of private sector commerce will fill the budget hole caused by the tax cuts. Read more on If Kansas Jumped Off A Bridge, Would Other States Do It Too? Apparently Yes!…
  the fault in our stars and bars

Fine Mississippi Gentleman Lawmaker Definitely Not Racist About Welfare And ‘The Blacks’

he steams nice.
Mississippi state Rep. Gene Alday (R-Circa 1844, Most Other Years) is not a fan of a new state education bill under consideration, which would prevent third grade students from advancing to the fourth grade if they don’t reach a certain reading proficiency level. Why? Read more on Fine Mississippi Gentleman Lawmaker Definitely Not Racist About Welfare And ‘The Blacks’…
  ain't no poors on ole rocky top

Tennessee Continues Long Tradition Of Hurting Poors, Totally Sucking

Volunteer this. Stupid poors.
Last year, Tennessee (state motto: We’re Vaguely Rectangular!) got into the hot new game of drug testing welfare recipients to make sure that none of them were spending their time having any fun. Because what good is having poor people if you can’t systematically scold and humiliate them for being poor? Now the results of the first six months of testing are in, and how are they? A rousing success, if your definition of success is busting a whopping 0.2 percent of people who applied for public assistance. Read more on Tennessee Continues Long Tradition Of Hurting Poors, Totally Sucking…
  Look how easy it is to be poor!

Rich People: Being Poor Sounds Easy, Let’s Not Be Poor, Though

Being rich is fun, but being poor is way easy
image via Rich Kids Of Instagram Tumblr Here is a terrible thing for you to read, and it is about how rich people have an extremely fucked up view of poor people, so if you don’t want to have to punch your fist through a window in the next five minutes, you should probably just go watch internet videos of cats riding around on roombas. The Pew Research Center released some data recently about politics and financial security, and it was horrible in all of the ways. But one of the worst conclusions was this: Read more on Rich People: Being Poor Sounds Easy, Let’s Not Be Poor, Though…
  Burning Issues: The Week In Weed

House Passes ‘No Welfare For Weed’ Bill, Which Fails To Ban Welfare For Weed

After coming back from a five-week “district work period” for eight action-packed days of legislating, members of the House and Senate went slinking out of DC on Thursday while mumbling over their shoulders that they’d be on email if anything should come up before the midterm elections. No worries, since all the important stuff got done: both chambers passed a stopgap funding bill to avert a shutdown showdown until just before Christmas, Trey Gowdy got to have all his friends over for his Benghazi Party, and the House of Representatives even found time to pretend they banned people who get government assistance from buying marijuana in those heathen enclaves where such a thing can be done legally. Read more on House Passes ‘No Welfare For Weed’ Bill, Which Fails To Ban Welfare For Weed…
  don't call it a comeback

Scott Walker Will Fight For Wisconsin’s Right To Collect Poor People’s Pee

Scott Walker, locked in a tight race for his second term as governor of Wisconsin, wants his constituents to know he’s committed to their conservative Midwestern values. It’s all right there in his campaign’s new manifesto, “Continuing Wisconsin’s Comeback”: If you give him four more years, he promises to cut property taxes, celebrate deer hunting heritage, supervise manly red-hot iron pours, and relentlessly pursue the urine of the state’s unemployed. Read more on Scott Walker Will Fight For Wisconsin’s Right To Collect Poor People’s Pee…
  hair of the blog

Arizona Schools Chief Apologizes, Has A Good Cry, Will Never Surrender, Won’t Stop Believin’

Arizona Superintendent of Public Instruction John Huppenthal held a news conference Thursday where he apologized — an actual “I’m sorry” apology, not a “sorry you were offended” apology — and “renounced and repudiated” his anonymously posted comments on political blogs, saying that the comments had been hurtful and that the revelation that he’d written them had damaged the state Department of Education. Oh, and while he is really sorry about all the racisming and hammering on the dirty poors, he’s also not going to step down, because something something honor, something something duty to the children. And then he broke into tears —  Glenn Beck would envy that weeping — and was escorted gently away from the podium by an aide. That’s shows how much He Cares. Read more on Arizona Schools Chief Apologizes, Has A Good Cry, Will Never Surrender, Won’t Stop Believin’…