Tag Archives: weirdos

  what's next man on dog?

Nice College Students Defend Sanctity Of Giraffe-Tiger Marriage

Hey, don’t forget: we’re not just electing a president today! We’re also electing a bunch of senators, many of whom have strong opinions about ladies who get raped, and some losers in the House too, ugh, who has time for those people, and, if we’re in Maryland, Maine, Washington State, or Minnesota, we also get to vote on gay marriage! Your Comics Curmudgeon was super psyched to yes on Maryland Question 6 today, if by “super psyched” you mean “pissed that the civil rights of his friends and neighbors are up for a vote but cautiously optimistic that it will pass.” ANYHOO the campaign here has been heavy on the “death to gays and those who love them” business. Maybe the antis should learn a little “Minnesota nice” from these furries! Read more on Nice College Students Defend Sanctity Of Giraffe-Tiger Marriage…
  losers

A Look Back At The Long Political Career of Ben Quayle

Dan Quayle’s weird kid, Congressman Ben, has had a long, fruitful tour through the halls of American power. He made his name writing pornography about all the bitchez he slammed in Scottsdale, for a blog. He made a comical ad where he called Barack Obama the worst president in history. He made more dumb creepy ads. He won his 2010 congressional race thanks to the big bucks he pulled in from daddy’s friends, like George H.W. Bush. Then he went party swimming in the Sea of Galilee, to procure water for his daughter’s baptism. And last night he lost his congressional primary, ha ha ha. He’s done. Boo! Read more on A Look Back At The Long Political Career of Ben Quayle…
  america's greatest eunuch

Creepy Nerd Ross Douthat Gets All Horny Over Idea of Monogamy

For some reason, the New York Times employs a weird boy-child who is utterly obsessed with the sex he never gets to have — and this guilt-plagued onanist writes his embarrassing tripe on the op-ed page, where adults are supposed to write about World Events or whatever. (Why do we subscribe to the NYT, again? Oh right, we don’t.) So, here is orc-nerd Ross Douthat shaving his hairy palms again so he can type more horny wingnut drivel about how some people who have sex somewhere may be having sex in a way that now suits Ross Douthat. Read more on Creepy Nerd Ross Douthat Gets All Horny Over Idea of Monogamy…
  put one foot in front of the other winter warlock

Ben Quayle Announces Debut of ‘Trail of Tears 2.0′

We guess this is some sort of new Ben Quayle ad? Look, America, everyone knows that numbers are boring. But Ben Quayle has some numbers for you. So get out your calculators and figure out how much national debt would be paid off with each mile of Ben Quayle’s walk-a-thon death-march. Read more on Ben Quayle Announces Debut of ‘Trail of Tears 2.0′…
  fighting the lobsterbacks

LaRouchite Weirdos Protesting Queen Elizabeth Again, In DC

Wonkette operative Dan T. was just walking to work at the Capitol (where he is the Queen’s Witchfinder General) when, from a very great and apparently safe distance, he took this picture with his “smart phone.” It shows some LaRouchites protesting Hitler (Queen Elizabeth, third from left, wearing rabbit ears) and promoting a Webisode and BP apparel. Never forget! Read more on LaRouchite Weirdos Protesting Queen Elizabeth Again, In DC…
  american heroes

Guy On Internet Will Destroy the Census With FOIA Bombs

“Savvy Young Political Journalist” Stephen Robert Morse, who runs the news organization MyTwoCensus.com with Ben Franklin, is only trying to expose all of the crimes being committed by America’s people-counter gulag, the Census Bureau. Doing this important work requires him to file daily Freedom of Information Act requests asking the Bureau for millions of documents. But now the Census people want to charge America’s muckraker “exorbitant prices” for his courageous truth-questing. How will Savvy Stephen obtain justice for this civil rights violation against his blog? Read more on Guy On Internet Will Destroy the Census With FOIA Bombs…
  iron sharpens iron

Banal Corporate Excellence Cult Looking For Recruits

Future and/or current Washingtonians! Are you looking for a shared housing situation in a walkable neighborhood near downtown and the Metro, but aren’t sure if you’ll be able to handle keep a detailed log of all your pooping? Why not live in Revolution House? The name might make you think that you’re going to be earnestly discussing ways to promote Hugo Chavez’s philosophy at home and abroad, but it’s actually “part fraternity, part social club and part the new MBA.” Assuming that those three components don’t sound like a recipe for suicide either in isolation or combination, you might enjoy paying $1700 a month to read Tony Robbins and Dale Carnegie aloud in closely supervised 30-hour “self-education” sessions until you start speaking in tongues. Read more on Banal Corporate Excellence Cult Looking For Recruits…
  raping children for jesus

Ross Douthat Blames Child-Raping Catholic Priests On … Hippies!

Fresh from his groundbreaking theory about the lazy Jews (“Why didn’t Jews show any understanding of evil by making hobbit books during the Holocaust?”), New York Times creepy blogger Ross Douthat has stumbled upon yet another unique thought, this time about all the Catholic priests fucking little children forever. Could it be that somehow liberals are to blame for this, too, because heterosexual non-clergy adults perhaps had sex outside of marriage during the 1970s, the “Nixon Decade”? Read more on Ross Douthat Blames Child-Raping Catholic Priests On … Hippies!…
  republicans in the news

Did You Know *Other* Republican Governors Are Creepy Weirdos, Like Mark Sanford?

Anybody who says the Associated Press is not the most important wire service with “AP” as its initials just plain hates good journalism. Following up on yesterday’s scorcher about how there were five (5) other governors who did something vaguely weird once, over the course of American state history, today AP headquarters in New York offers up what just might be the most cogent yet blistering assessment of the Mark Sanford “Argentine Firecracker” scandal thus far: Sanford is a Republican governor doing lame, creepy things … just like all those other Republican governors trying to make a name for themselves in the GOP’s final days. Read more on Did You Know *Other* Republican Governors Are Creepy Weirdos, Like Mark Sanford?…
  but there's only one mark sanford

Did You Know Other Governors, In History, Have Also Done Weird Things?

An important new Associated Press topical article notes that exactly five other governors in American history have done something weird, while in office. So nature-boy mountain lamer Mark Sanford is not alone! Come out of the closet, Mark, and come back to America. Read more on Did You Know Other Governors, In History, Have Also Done Weird Things?…