Tag Archives: Weinergate

  crazy batshit nonsense

Anthony Weiner Scandal Caused By His Secret Conversion To Islam

Was anyone else wondering during this Anthony Weiner scandal whether this whole thing was because Jewish Anthony Weiner is secretly a Muslim? Right-wing “Islam expert” Robert Spencer thinks so, because here is what he knows: Weiner is sneaky, exactly like a secret Muslim would be. And he is married to a Muslim woman, which means he automatically converted to terrorism in his sleep right after Bill Clinton married the two of them. Bill Clinton is also a secret Muslim, and Hillary Clinton is a giant lesbian for Anthony Weiner’s wife. What? Oh, fine, Spencer does not exactly say that Anthony Weiner likes to beam his weiner pix all over the Internet just because he is a secret Muslim. This more likely explains the fact that he is a liberal who does stupid things.  Read more on Anthony Weiner Scandal Caused By His Secret Conversion To Islam…
  farewell my weiner

Beloved Weiner-Twitterer Anthony Weiner Resigns From Congress

Anthony Weiner is crazy for girls and crazy for Twitter, two things that do not go well together, especially when you’re a married congressman who can’t stop taking pictures of your dick and sending them to the entire Internet. So, after who knows how many weeks of Weinergate, Anthony Weiner is resigning from Congress. We’re betting those voters from his district who originally said, “Eh, let’s keep him, he’s good at going on teevee and talking about himself,” eventually changed over to, “Oh for god’s sake, quit already, and keep it in your pants for a while, iPhone sex creep.” Even Barack Obama took a moment from authorizing the bombing of all other countries to say, “Hey, Weiner? You are now officially messing with my business, which is shaking liberal millionaires down for campaign contributions. Get lost.” Good-bye, Anthony Weiner, history’s first Twitter-Congress casualty. Read more on Beloved Weiner-Twitterer Anthony Weiner Resigns From Congress…
  anthony weiner did 9/11?

Moonie Times: Weiner Maybe Showed His Weiner Because He’s Secretly Muslim

How is crazyland? Still crazy! Here’s what the Washington Times posted about a well-known Jewish man from New York: Given the defense articulated by the Imam, which would be offered only for a Muslim man, we must believe this opportunity to remove this Muslim woman from a union with an non-believer would be quickly taken. Therefore we must consider that Mr. Weiner *may* have converted to Islam, because if he did not, we have to consider the unlikely, that being that Ms. Abedin has abandoned her Muslim faith, even while she still practices. Read more on Moonie Times: Weiner Maybe Showed His Weiner Because He’s Secretly Muslim…
  we knew there was a silver lining somewhere

Congress Afraid of Twitter Ever Since Weiner Scandal

Have you heard about the website that combines the two worst things, Congress and Twitter? It is called “TweetCongress.org,” which is dumb, and this website found that congressional use of Twitter has declined 28% in the terrible week since Weinergate started, because Congress is full of olds who now worry that the Twitter is going to break into their laptops and steal their creepy secrets, too. No, John Boehner, that is not how it works. No one is going to find out that you smear chihuahua blood mixed with lemon peels on your skin for that weird glow … unless you accidentally tweet the photo to one of those lobbyists you bone. Read more on Congress Afraid of Twitter Ever Since Weiner Scandal…
  pix or it didnt happen

Shocker: Another Weiner Politician In Trouble For Sexy Behavior

Move over, Anthony Weiner scandal, there is a new Weiner sex scandal in town. It’s not like God was ever going to let us go another six hours without another Weiner joke. So here we go again: in New Mexico, Bernalillo County Commissioner Michael Weiner is in trouble for saying creepy things to a lady staff member, which, whatever, WHERE ARE THE WEINER PIX. New Mexico Democrats are calling on Weiner to resign, because Weiner is a weiner, etc. We look forward to reading about a third installment tomorrow morning probably, so the New York Times can do a “What’s the Matter With Weiners?” trend piece. Read more on Shocker: Another Weiner Politician In Trouble For Sexy Behavior…
  rumors on the twitters

Mystery Wingnut Twitter Batmans Warned Ladies About Weiner

Here is a nice, positive “unemployed wingnuts with internet access” story for once. The NYTimes reported that a mysterious team of conservative Twitter Batmans used an extensive amount of free time to closely monitor Anthony Weiner’s Twitter follows (we don’t know what that means) to discover that the exhibitionist Fruit of the Loom spokesbulge was “following” a disproportionate number of non-constituent young ladies. If they had they been lots of young men, of course, they would more likely would have gone unnoticed by conservative stalker-hunters (stalker-stalkers). Gay it up next time, Rep. Weiner! Read more on Mystery Wingnut Twitter Batmans Warned Ladies About Weiner…
  subtle

Discount Airline Emails Giant Double Entendre To Unsuspecting Customers

American Capitalism is still kind of fun, once in a while! Spirit Airlines emailed customers this offer with the subject line, “Want To See Our Weiner?” and miraculously this did not end up in everyone’s spam folder. The Weiner-themed marketing ploys were probably going to be inevitable, so congratulations, Spirit Airlines, for making it out ahead of the curve on this one. [Spirit Airlines via Wonkette operative “Jon C.”] Read more on Discount Airline Emails Giant Double Entendre To Unsuspecting Customers…
  it's okay if republicans do it

Party of David Vitter & Larry Craig & Newt Gingrich Tells Anthony Weiner To Resign

Well, we didn’t see this coming at all: The chairman of the Republican National Committee on Tuesday called for Rep. Anthony Weiner to resign from Congress, saying no investigation was necessary “to know he lied and acted inappropriately.” Read more on Party of David Vitter & Larry Craig & Newt Gingrich Tells Anthony Weiner To Resign…
  there's no crying in politics

Anthony Weiner Twit-Pic-Dick Scandal Ends In Tears, Dick Jokes

BREAKING!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anthony Weiner’s was the weiner in “the weiner picture.” THANK YOU, ANTHONY WEINER, you have now guaranteed that greasy pustule Andrew Breitbart will never go away, ever. Weiner went on the teevee and tearfully admitted to a roomful of reporters that he, not a hacker, tweeted the laughably tame photo of a peen in gray boxers to some ladies on the internet. Weiner, typical Democrat, not only cried at the press briefing, but he revealed that he failed to actually sex any of the half dozen ladies in question. Someone never read the scandal manual. Read more on Anthony Weiner Twit-Pic-Dick Scandal Ends In Tears, Dick Jokes… Read more on Anthony Weiner Twit-Pic-Dick Scandal Ends In Tears, Dick Jokes…
  it doesn't get better

We Are So Sorry About Posting This NMA Weiner Cartoon

But what are we going to do, just let this pass us by? If we do not follow the cheesy political self-pic Twitter scandal of the day, which this Anthony Weiner guy does not seem to be calming down very well, then we have failed as the political scandal satire website. Ugh. Read more on We Are So Sorry About Posting This NMA Weiner Cartoon…
  put him in gitmo

Andrew Breitbart Wants You To See His Weiner Picture

While we innocently pre-pre-gamed for Memorial Day barbecues, furious conspiracy nut Andrew Breitbart was saving the world, AGAIN. “Someone” broke into Rep. Anthony Weiner’s Twitter account and posted a picture of a wiener (get it??) and then Breitbart’s AARP version of 4chan “grabbed hold” of the dong picture before it was deleted, to prove once and for all that Anthony Weiner has a Twitter account capable of being hacked. UPDATE: Oh, some wingnut Twitter guy did this whole dumb stunt, and then made his Twitter private. Gah, Twitter. Read more on Andrew Breitbart Wants You To See His Weiner Picture…