Wonkette

America’s proudest employees — the people of the Department of Housing and Urban Development — got a rude surprise yesterday when they tried to catch up on housing and urban development developments by reading Wonkette. MORE »

Everybody smart knows you shouldn’t do questionable things on your work computer, whether sending out resumes or posting Casual Encounters ads or basically anything you might have a hard time explaining to your boss.

The scumbag criminals in the White House also practice this “cover your tracks” rule. Technically, they “work” for the “American people,” which means the White House computer network and affiliated websites, e-mail accounts, backups and archives are the property of the United States, as required by the Presidential Records Act.

Find out how they’re breaking yet another federal law, after the jump.

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Above, a graphic from John McCain’s website offering you a look at his coveted “bracket.” It’s apparently some sort of college basketball thing. It facilitates gambling, or something. MORE »

The big primaries are only 10-1/2 months away, huzzah! As we wait almost a whole year for anything to happen, are there other ways to compare and contrast the major candidates and find out WHO WILL WIN? Maybe we could closely examine their websites and traffic patterns!

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It’s official: The United States is now Mexican. Lou Dobbs was last seen throwing himself under a taco truck. Mmmm, tacos …. MORE »

Tom Vilsack, thought to be the only man in America brave enough to run for President, is, in fact, an Andy Kaufman-esque post-modern prankster, if his delightfully half-finished website is any indication. The former Iowa governor and John Goodman lookalike could not be reached for comment, because he is an elaborate trick involving mirrors and prosthetics. MORE »

Some time in the last two hours (we checked it during the press conference and it was fine), mysterious, incredibly dorky hackers “defaced” the personal blog of Iran President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. After the embarrassingly nerdy credits and logo, there’s some text in what may be Farsi (but then, fuck do we know?).

Early reports indicate that the Ned Lamont campaign is almost definitely behind this.

In case anyone wants to take a crack at translating, the geeky (but clearly freedom-loving) losers’ message is reprinted after the jump.

Update: A translation, from a reader, indicates that the hackers have hacked not out of protest, but rather to leave an encouraging comment. It’s a big love-in (they “would like to thank you on behalf of all of Iran’s hackers”). Say what you will about Ahmadinejad, but the guy’s getting better at PR every damn day. The translated message is after the jump.

Ahmadinejad.ir

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We did as much as we possibly could to keep the Macaca story afloat, we admit (come on, it’s August), but we are still fairly amazed by the results of the Wall Street Journal/Zogby Interactive poll showing whatsisface (you know, the Dragnet guy) ahead of a man who, up until this month, had been thought of as a good bet for the GOP Presidential nomination. Sure, it’s by one point, but who knew veiled racism had political consequences! In Virginia! Now all the challengers with nothing to lose will be getting their own Indian kids. MORE »

The Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee, headed by, apparently, Leno’s staff writers and your grandfather, are proving themselves HIP and EDGY and WITH IT with a new website based on popular concept Snakes on a Plane (after, we hear, rejecting a site based on the film adaptation of Charles Bukowski’s Factotum, opening today in limited release). DSCC head Chuck Schumer, wearing a “Vote for Pedro” shirt on which “Pedro” had been crossed out and “Democrats” written beside it in Sharpie, said this half-assed grab for relevance would demonstrate conclusively that Democrats, lacking a basic sense of humor, have the decorum and gravitas necessary to lead the country through the War on Terror. MORE »

Take it from us, living under the teachings of Iraq Shiite leader Ali al-Sistani sometimes gets pretty complicated. Can I wear nail polish? Can I go to a cockfight? It’s a full-time job keeping all the edicts straight! Thankfully, al-Sistani’s got a helpful Web site that clearly lays out what’s what. Gossiping? It’s a sin. Shaking hands with women? Not under his watch. Ass-fucking? Well, er, that depends: MORE »

Joe Lieberman’s campaign is an unstoppable rocket-sled of competence! His imaginary political party will surely dominate both Connecticut and national politics for years to come! MORE »

Oh no! Rhetoric!
Condi, we know you’re trying to be tough and all, but we’re still pretty close to tagging this as “holy shit” — Sy Hersh just gets us a little skittish when he starts talking about “tactical nuclear weapons,” and, well, we already kinda know how your boss feels about “diplomacy.” So we urge you, Condi, to learn a little more about Iran before you take it to the Security Council — get to know them, you know? We think we have a lot in common, after all. Like, for example, they have crappy and incomprehensible kids websites too:

Yeah. That’s the Space Shuttle up top there. No, we don’t know why. It kinda freaks us out a little, but those stock photography kids at the top make us feel a little better. This was the only thing we could find in English. Any Persian speakers out there want to tell us what the hell is going on? With this site or with the forthcoming nuclear apocalypse, either one will do. MORE »

Oh, we do so love the internet. In addition to (barely) paying our bills, it provides us with upwards of 20 minutes of amusement a day. Today’s bit of fun comes in the form of a seemingly brand-new email harvesting scam that’ll send your best wishes directly to The Hammer. The only thing that makes it seem not quite on-the-level to us is the lack of a call for donations to Mr. DeLay’s legal defense fund (a must-have for this year’s hot political websites). Still, though — we signed it, and we suggest you do the same.

So… we’re just about bored enough to ask — the site is registered by proxy, meaning it’s the Fire David Gregory kid again, right? MORE »

People work fast in this town. “Very Fancy Frist,” unfortunately, avoids that hint of maybe-possibly impicit miscegenation fear that is the heart and soul of “Fancy Ford.” And it’s full of all these criticisms of, like, his policies and voting record and shit. They don’t even mention cats. MORE »