Wonkette

1996 called, and it wants its crappy GeoCities “home page” back where it belongs, in 1996. Here is the one and only monument to the great movement of angry middle-aged white ladies who managed to graduate high school: 35,000 of them got together and built the world’s lamest website — you must visit it; the letters blink on and off! — with the memorable domain name of “hcsfjm.com,” which stands for “hot cum sandwich for John McCain.” MORE »

It’s never too early to do a little Christmas shopping for your worst enemies, especially when the “shopping” is free! Send the people you hate a shitty poster of these beloved “conservative women” bloggers. Ha ha it’s funny because wingnuts are always complaining about “loose women” or whatever. Choose from Ann Coulter smoking on the balcony, Michele Malkin in the woods with a liberal computer, or Keith Richards. (PS — Don’t really do this because the “free” posters actually cost $7. Just print up a few at work. Use all the color cartridges. After all, you’ll be giving them to the people you hate most: the people you work for.) [Free "Luce Lady" Posters]

SENATOR OBAMAS, IS THAT YOU? The saga takes another weird turn as the good Senator is revealed to be some sort of Tron-like creature. Or a snow bunny…or some hideous grass-headed monster. The variations keep on coming. [SenatorObamas.com] MORE »

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? Honestly, what is it? Nothing but a creepy picture on our Wonkette High Powered Computers (an old MacBook) but we have suspicions there might be something terrible inside. [SenatorObamas.com]

We warned you that Ralph Nader has picked up John Edwards’ discarded angry-hobo-under-the-bridge act by launching a shitty website, but we forgot to tell you how to help his efforts to build a post-corporate email list. [Nader 2008 Presidential Exploratory Committee]

WELCOME TO MY HOME PAGE: Happy First Birthday, The Politico! (And next time you put up a front-page link celebrating how web-savvy you are, maybe you could warn us that “html” page is secretly a giant PDF file that’s going to open up Adobe Reader and maybe crash our browser. Thanks!)

An awful threat looms over, or on the other side of, the world. That threat is a country run by Evil Fanatics who, even though they were defeated by like 300 Greeks many years ago, have somehow built a new Empire of Evil which consists of, well, their country — a country called “Iran” (no “q”). MORE »

Have you heard of Belgium? It’s apparently a little country somewhere in Europe. Belgium used to own Africa and invented chocolate and/or french fries and has problems with UFOs and pedophiles. You may have even unwittingly visited Belgium, if you’re a member of the European Union government or maybe traveled from England to “the continent” by boat in the days before the Chunnel train. To this day, some French people travel through Belgium by train on their way to get their heroin in Amsterdam. MORE »

If you’re having a hard time choosing a Republican presidential candidate to support, maybe a tiny creepy talking seemingly-alive little Mitt Romney walking around your computer screen would help with that decision. MORE »

As Walnuts McCain was declaring victory in the glorious never-ending war on the other candidates, the old dude from the TV was announcing that he’d recently opened a new website, called “I’m With Fred,” where “Fred” fans can give him money and try to tell your friends and family to give him money. MORE »