Michael Steele you have got to stop it with the funny today, we can’t take much more. NO NO DON’T GO ON TV! Oh no he’s going to say something too hilarious! Uh oh: “It’s a new platform for us. It’s not even really a web site.” No! A website is *exactly* what it is! This is too much. Let’s read some arbitrary news outlet to get away from all this, it doesn’t matter which… ah, New York Daily News, as good a choice as any, let’s see what’s in the ollll’ NYDN… “GOP Posts Password, Admin Instructions on New Web Site.” GAHH. [TPM, NYDN]

Sarah Palin’s least-favorite almost-son-in-law Levi Johnston will not vanish from the public eye, ever! He’s doing a photoshoot with a website called Playgirl, which, despite its gender specific name, is actually a site for gay men who like to look at photographs of other men, naked. There is nothing wrong with this! And, you know, we are pretty happy that of the two unlikely Wasilla-based media sensations of September 2008, Sarah Palin is now an unemployed twitterer and Levi Johnston is the celebrity (?) of September 2009. Who could’ve predicted it? [Gawker/Violet Blue/The Sword]

THANKS FOR NOTHING! Oh hey you can go “thank” old what’s-his-name, the guy who is still technically the president! No room for a special message, so your Wonkette just left “Fukk You Assclown” as our “e-signature.” PS — Do not donate to this website, just leave your “name” and go away, quickly. [Thank You President George W. Bush]

It’s time to stop with all this “John McCain is from the 18th Century” nonsense, because the GOP nominee-to-be has now seen a computer and is quickly catching up with all the exciting technological developments of the past 45 years. MORE »

1996 called, and it wants its crappy GeoCities “home page” back where it belongs, in 1996. Here is the one and only monument to the great movement of angry middle-aged white ladies who managed to graduate high school: 35,000 of them got together and built the world’s lamest website — you must visit it; the letters blink on and off! — with the memorable domain name of “hcsfjm.com,” which stands for “hot cum sandwich for John McCain.” MORE »

It’s never too early to do a little Christmas shopping for your worst enemies, especially when the “shopping” is free! Send the people you hate a shitty poster of these beloved “conservative women” bloggers. Ha ha it’s funny because wingnuts are always complaining about “loose women” or whatever. Choose from Ann Coulter smoking on the balcony, Michele Malkin in the woods with a liberal computer, or Keith Richards. (PS — Don’t really do this because the “free” posters actually cost $7. Just print up a few at work. Use all the color cartridges. After all, you’ll be giving them to the people you hate most: the people you work for.) [Free "Luce Lady" Posters]

SENATOR OBAMAS, IS THAT YOU? The saga takes another weird turn as the good Senator is revealed to be some sort of Tron-like creature. Or a snow bunny…or some hideous grass-headed monster. The variations keep on coming. [SenatorObamas.com] MORE »

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? Honestly, what is it? Nothing but a creepy picture on our Wonkette High Powered Computers (an old MacBook) but we have suspicions there might be something terrible inside. [SenatorObamas.com]

We warned you that Ralph Nader has picked up John Edwards’ discarded angry-hobo-under-the-bridge act by launching a shitty website, but we forgot to tell you how to help his efforts to build a post-corporate email list. [Nader 2008 Presidential Exploratory Committee]

WELCOME TO MY HOME PAGE: Happy First Birthday, The Politico! (And next time you put up a front-page link celebrating how web-savvy you are, maybe you could warn us that “html” page is secretly a giant PDF file that’s going to open up Adobe Reader and maybe crash our browser. Thanks!)

An awful threat looms over, or on the other side of, the world. That threat is a country run by Evil Fanatics who, even though they were defeated by like 300 Greeks many years ago, have somehow built a new Empire of Evil which consists of, well, their country — a country called “Iran” (no “q”). MORE »