OKAY NOW IT IS TIME FOR THE REAL BLOGGIES: We don’t even know what that other Weblog Awards thing is about, other than you should keep voting for us, because why not? But the real true authentic Weblog Awards Thing is back, and accepting nominations for all your favorite categories of websites such as “Best Mexican Blog” and “Best Blog About Trig Palin’s Birth Records.” MORE »

Look. These new PUMAs are really annoying. They’re as reactionary as the Paultards circa late 2007, but at least the Paultards had ideas, man, they had a fuckin’ ethos. These PUMAs, on the other hand, are thoughtless, easily manipulable and selfish to the extent that when they don’t get what they want, they blame everyone else for stealing something and offending them, when really no significant events in the real world could affect them in any meaningful way. These are the people who get personally offended, for some reason, when they hear that Britney Spears went driving with a baby on her lap, or, more pertinently, when Hillary Clinton didn’t get as many delegates as her contender. Grow up. MORE »

• IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM THE PUMA BLOG: “Oh, and BTW, Wonkette readers, someday, if you’re lucky, you will live long enough to be old. Your tits will sag, your scrotums will lose their perky tautness and young, stupid adolescent males will make fun of you, unless, of course, the PUMAs make them insignificant. Someday, you may thank us.” Jesus, do you type to your mother with those hands? What does this even mean? Our tits (they’ll have to be yours by default, Sara, sorry) will get saggy and then adolescent males will make fun of us until PUMA KILLS ALL OF THE ADOLESCENT MALES ON EARTH? These people should be in prison. [Confluence]

So we checked out our “competitor,” the Confluence blog, and, as many of you have already discovered… it’s a PUMA site! They have a post called, “An Interview with Harriet Christian, NY Senate Seat Contender.” Oh man. Welcome to our radar, Confluence! [The Confluence]

Oh look, now you can click this computer graphic of a computer, and then, magically, you can vote for your Wonkette, so we can post a different computer graphic of a computer, but this time designating your Wonkette as the whatever-of-the-year — this time around, we are nominated for “Prettiest Libtard Blog.” We are being MURDERED by Crooks & Liars some blog we have literally never heard of, called “Confluence,” right now. Please put a stop to this outrage. MORE »

Over the years, your Wonkette has won most-to-all of the awards ever given to Internet websites, due to the diligence, care and insight its unbelievably talented editors put into every post, effortlessly. But we understand that Internet awards distributors must pretend that we have “competition,” and so we’ll play along and say that we’re “honored to be nominated” for “Best Liberal Blog” in the 2008 Weblog Awards. (Although, and for the last time, we. are. WARBLOGGERS.) More importantly, we’re happy for our numerous competitors — the junior blogs TPM, Crooks & Liars, Think Progress and others — for whom the word “ecstatic” would not adequately describe their emotions upon hearing of their placement in the same echelon as Wonkette. Every child deserves a treat on occasion, we suppose. Voting starts Jan. 5. [GODDAMMIT NEWELL YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE GRACIOUS. WELL WE SHALL SEE HOW YOU ACT ONCE THIS DEPRESSION ENDS, IN 2028. -- Ed.] [2008 Weblog Awards]