Tag: weapons

Where's Track? IN JAIL MAYBE?

Track Palin Got Drunk And Beated Up A Lady With His Gun, Allegedly

What a busy day for the Palin family! Sarah's in Iowa making drunk faces about Makin' America Great Again for Donald Trump, Bristol's sitting at home COVERED in out-of-wedlock baby poo and "writing" internet letters about what a dick...
Up to no good, maybe or maybe not

Is Hillary Clinton World’s Evilest Arms Dealer Ever? Maybe!

At last, a Hillary Clinton ZOMGgate story that might actually be a thing! (Or might not. You never know with those wily Clintons, which is why it's generally best to assume guilty until proven otherwise.) According to an exhaustive...

Rep. Louie Gohmert Is Just Asking If Obama’s Secret Obamacare Army Is Being Trained To Kill, That’s All

At this point, it’s inexcusable that GOP Rep. Louie Gohmert’s name is not a widely used neologism meaning something like “a person or thing that makes everything worse by being a fucking asshole.” Notice we did not say “a...

Good Morning, The Future Is Here!

Welcome, Wonkette readers! Racism is in the past, the CDC is promising there are no zombies, and we're building weapons to fight aliens! Aren't you glad the past is over? According to Pew, difference in political opinions is what most...

ATF Chief Who Funneled Illegal Arms To Mexico ‘Punished’ By Reassignment To Obama’s Justice Dept.

What happens when the nation's chief of weapons enforcement is caught running an illegal weapons operation that funnels guns to Mexico's murderous drug cartels? He gets reassigned to the Justice Department, hahaha: Reuters has this comical report: The head of the...

Wisconsin Assembly Votes To End Collective Bargaining

After three straight days of debate, the Republican-controlled Wisconsin Assembly passed Scott Walker's erotic union-busting fantasy earlier this morning, "before sleep-deprived Democrats realized what was happening." The bill now heads to the Senate, where it will probably stay for...

Security Guards Punch And Tase And Pull Out Dreadlocks of Clarence Thomas’ Nephew

Supreme Court justice Clarence Thomas' nephew was allegedly tased and beat up at a New Orleans hospital yesterday after an apparent suicide attempt when he "refused to put on a hospital gown and tried to leave his examination." Derek...

Liz Glover Interviews America’s Armed Protector

Your Liz Glover made so many new friends today at the park near Ronald Reagan airport. At least several Real Americans spent their days there milling about the bucolic fields, ducking from airplanes, and showing off their favorite machines...

Obama Is Suddenly Changing George W. Bush Missile Shield’s Big European Plans

All George W. Bush wanted was to build a missile shield in the Czech Republic or Poland but Obama—because he doesn't want the typical semester abroad experience—would rather the shield be somewhere less like, banal, like Turkey or southern...

Sarah Palin Will Murder Mitt Romney With A Semiautomatic Weapon

When you heard the news about Mitt Romney being terribly disrespectful to Sarah Palin by suggesting she's only important because she's purty, you probably wondered what this Alaskan "mama bear" would do about it. Naturally, she will hunt Romney...

Pentagon Introduces New Vomit Ray