Tag Archives: we the people

  love it or leave it

Alabama Fella Pretty Much Started Petition ‘Cause Fascist Gubmint Shut Down His Nudie Carwash

Lots of red-blooded US Merkins love America so much they want to LEAVE IT (because Kenyan Mooslim Sharia Oppression and such). But one such patriot is a little more interesting! Sup, guy who started Alabama’s secession petition Derrick Belcher, 45, of “Chuncula”? “Blah blah libertarianism, RON PAUL!!!1!, freedom, not-racist, hard-working, etc.” Oh yes, here it is: “It’s economics -– just that simple,” he said. “I’m working poor. And I work -– I’ve never taken a dime from the government. I’ll starve before I take a handout. That’s what being a true American is all about.” Belcher blamed the government for shutting down his former business. Belcher said his Euro Details car wash, which featured topless women, was successful for a decade on Halls Mill Road in Mobile. But he said he was arrested and charged with obscenity by city officials in 2001. “The government ripped my business away, and now they’re choking America to death with rules and regulations,” he said. Read more on Alabama Fella Pretty Much Started Petition ‘Cause Fascist Gubmint Shut Down His Nudie Carwash…
  democracy is for suckers

Petition To Punch Grover Norquist In Dick Removed From White House Petition Site

Well, Wonketteers, we bring you some very depressing news: the petition for “all everyone to punch Grover Norquist in the dick” has been removed from We The People, the White House’s platform for direct democracy. This saddens us greatly for reasons that should be pretty obvious, do we really need to go into it because we’re pretty broken up about this whole thing. Also saddening for super obvious reasons: someone or someones removed the petition for President Obama to do the hokey pokey. We were going to drown our sorrows in a bottle of vodka but we got over it once we realized the petition to name Wonkette the official mommy blog of the United States of America is still alive and well. Read more on Petition To Punch Grover Norquist In Dick Removed From White House Petition Site…
  suggestion box

White House Will Now Pretend To Listen To Everyone’s Crazy Ideas

Hey, America! Do you have ideas? Do you think that maybe everyone should be able to smoke lots of weed, or drive in cars without seat belts, or that we should all be ruled by robots, instead of Barack Obama or, Allah-forbid, Rick Perry? Well, terrific, because now the White House will humor you with its brand new socialist program, “We the People.” Now, any meth addict or homeless person inside the local library can come up with a suggestion for this country, and at least for a second believe that it might actually come true. Here is the secret, though: it never will! Read more on White House Will Now Pretend To Listen To Everyone’s Crazy Ideas…