We briefly noted their disappearance yesterday. But after Jessica Cutler emailed us to complain about the matter — “I was trying to read some shit about myself, but was stymied when the links didn’t work” — a full-fledged investigation is warranted. MORE »

Yes, we know, you’re sick of reading about it. Well, we’re sick of writing about it! Hence this postscript to the whole saga of Stormie Janzen — the hot young Senate staffer whose sexy blog got shut down recently.

We’ve followed Stormiegate fairly closely, even obsessively, and now we’d like to close the loop on it. We wouldn’t want to leave you in suspense over the fate of the vivacious young blogress who gave rise to this pseudo-scandal (emphasis on “pseudo”).

To quote the Bard once again, “All’s well that ends well.” Amy Argetsinger and Roxanne Roberts offer this entertaining update in their Reliable Source column:

Stormie Janzen, 34, did not return calls yesterday. [Sen. Jeff Sessions's] spokesman Michael Brumas confirmed that Janzen still has a job: “We have dealt with this matter, and it’s closed.”

Oh, come on! Hasn’t anyone called offering a book contract? “I have no idea,” Brumas said wearily. “I doubt it.”

Okay. Has Playboy called? “Why are you asking me these questions?” he groaned.

Well, because we’re always on the lookout for the next Washington sex mini-scandal. Granted, Janzen’s page at MySpace.com isn’t going to get her there. Those who saw it say her writing was pretty PG-13, nothing nearly as spicy as the famous “Washingtonienne” diary that caused Jessica Cutler to lose her congressional staff job but gain a book contract. Then again, she does have a great name…

“If I can do it,” Cutler told us, “why not Stormie?”

Here’s our take on the whole matter: At the end of the day, what a government employee does in her private life is nobody’s business but her own. As long as Stormie is doing her job, and doing it well, the fact that she maintains a somewhat racy blog about her personal life — or, say, a whimsically irreverent, completely non-substantive blog about federal judges — has no bearing whatsoever on her employment.

Our polemic continues after the jump.

MORE »

Okay, fine, we’ll admit it. We believe that the whole Stormie Janzen blog controversy is a bit overblown. Indeed, our view is reflected in the title we’ve given to this post. (And yes, we briefly considered the triple-pun headline “Stormie Janzen: Temptress in a Teapot,” before rejecting it as way too “busy.”)

But the recognition that this is all “much ado about nothing” — as Stormie herself, a one-time Shakespeare scholar, might say — won’t prevent us from serving up yet another post about Sen. Jeff Sessions’s steamy staffer. It’s what you’re clearly clamoring for, and we aim to please!

For those of you who missed yesterday’s coverage, Stormie Janzen is a gorgeous, 34-year-old scheduler for Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-Ala.). Until recently, Stormie Jansen [sic; intentional misspelling to capture Google traffic] maintained a bawdy blog on MySpace, where she raved about the sexiness of men in button-fly jeans and treated visitors to a tantalizing glimpse of her thong, a la Monica.

Unfortunately for Ms. Janzen, as well as all thong-loving members of MySpace, the powers-that-be in Senator Sessions’s office eventually got wind of her literary exploits. And when they did, they forced poor Stormie to change into a pair of granny panties — and to take down her blog. (But the chastened Janzen is keeping her job, as reported by Roll Call.)

So you’ll probably never get to see that ridiculously delicious photo of Stormie in her partially unbuttoned jeans (unless someone emails us a screen cap). But you’re still dying to know: “Who is Stormie Jansen? And how is she related to the Halle Berry character from X-Men?”

On the jump page, the results of Wonkette’s detailed investigation into those questions.

MORE »

This morning, via DomePunks, we learn the story of Stormie Janzen (porn name: Stormie Janzen). Until recently, the comely Ms. Janzen — a 34-year-old scheduler for Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-Ala.) — maintained a racy, sexy blog on MySpace. Janzen’s blog featured midriff-baring photos of the curvaceous blogress, as well as paeans to men in button-fly jeans. MORE »

There are many wonderful things about Jessica Cutler’s motion to dismiss Robert Steinbuch’s invasion of privacy suit, chief among them the contention that because Cutler only gave the URL of the blog to three friends, she didn’t mean for the blog to be public. In fact, the whole opening anecdote of the motion reads like a “Bridgette-Jones-tries-to-program-the-VCR” set piece:

Cutler visited the “Basic Settings” area of Blogger. There, Cutler entered a “Description” of the Blog, which Cutler simply defined to be the same as the “Blog title” — “Washingtonienne” (Ex. 1 [Cutler Decl. ¶ 5]). Next, the “Basic Settings” area asked Cutler whether she wanted to “Add your Blog to our listings?” Answering “yes” here would have displayed the Blog’s URL on Blogger’s public Internet site, thus advertising its existence to the world of cyberspace. Importantly, Cutler answered this question “no”! She did that in an effort to limit access to the Blog only to those close personal friends (and one friend of one of those friends) with whom she wanted to share the contents of the Blog. Cutler could not find in the “Basic Settings” area or any other area of Blogger the option of making a blog password protected. And thus, by not adding the Blog to Blogger’s listings, Cutler took all opportunities Blogger offered to restrict access to the Blog to a few individuals.

Except, of course, the whole putting-it-on-the-internet thing. MORE »

When we hear “options” and “Washingtonienne” we usually think, “front or back,” but it turns out there’s more than one kind of option you can sell for cash. New York Magazine reports that Jessica Cutler has sold the television rights for her novel to HBO and that Sarah Jessica Parker is to produce. No one could be more excited than we are for a fictionalized account of hot intern fucking — it would pretty much have to be fictional — but we do have one question: Where’s our ten percent? (Also: Is it too late to change our book cover?) MORE »

An op-ed in the WP today looks at the legal merits of Robert Steinbuch’s publicity stunt law suit against Jessica Culter (a.k.a. “The Washingtonienne”). There’s apparently merit to the case, but only if you use doc’s time machine to find a court in the previous century. Bemoaning how everyone is all concerned about free speech these days, the op-editor (one Andrew J. McClurg) sniffles that “Today’s technology grants any person — no matter how selfish, irresponsible or malicious — the power to invade privacy globally, at almost no cost.” And you thought the internet was only good for porn! Speaking of, McClurg goes on to warn that today’s number one safe-sex query shouldn’t be “Do you have a condom?” but “Do you have a computer?” MORE »