washington

Ann Coulter wrote a book. It’s her tenth! Congratulations, Ann! We don’t know much about the etiquette of these things, but evidently the tenth is the “fluorescent” anniversary in publishing, since her friends at the Daily Caller invited everyone over to their place this week to celebrate.

Eight minutes can be a really long time. It’s about the amount of time it takes light from the sun to travel to the earth. Or in more earthly terms, it’s twice as long as Gary’s never-gonna-happen fantasy about Piper Perabo. But if you are an addled, half-brained drooling Tea-jadist, then it is just the […]

Wow, today must be Daily Caller Debunks Everything Badly Day! Not only has Tucker Carlson’s Home For Angry White Men exposed Cory Booker as a carpetbagging friend of predatory raccoons, it has also completely blown the credibility of “The American Indian leader spearheading the campaign to change the name of the Washington Redskins” (see what […]

For some darn reason, the organizers of the “Million Vet March on the Memorials” are suddenly distancing themselves from the fine people who showed up in DC over the weekend to tear down the barriers around the WWII Memorial and demand the impeachment of Fake Preznit Obama. On their homepage and their FacePlaceSpace page, the […]

OK, not that Lawnmower Man. Here is a gentleman who has taken it upon himself to tidy up memorials and monuments around Washington DC during the government shutdown. Says Gawker: Chris Cox of South Carolina could be seen popping up at various memorials over the last few days with his trusty chainsaw, lawnmower, and Palmetto […]

We are in DC just in time for Gubmint Shutdown Happy Good Times Fun! Hooray! So we, along with all you federal workers, poured some vodka on our corn flakes and went out for a good time. Let’s see us!

It is weird to us, but some of you do not actually read Wonkette more than 200 times a month. So you may have missed yesterday’s announcement that I, your Editrix, am here in this nation’s glorious capital, and that you may buy me liquor. We shall meet from six to nine p.m. at the […]

Wot’s this then, we are in our nation’s glorious capital, and we are having a party, by which we mean you may come and meet us and buy us drinks? IT’S TWOO! IT’S TWOO! We shall meet Saturday, from 6 to 9 p.m., at the Melrose Hotel in Georgetown (2430 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington, DC […]

Imagine you’ve been asked to come up with a process to collect unpaid property taxes, and because you’re a terrible person you’ve decided that your process will be as painful as possible for the property owners while remaining at least tenuously legal. Do you think you could do better than Washington, D.C., where private investors […]

Hold onto your helmets, Wonkers. (HAHA! We are just kidding! You do not wear motorcycle helmets, because FREEDOM!) The DC City Council, or maybe the parks service, or something, we do not care to read too properly at this here particular moment, not that they probably were that specific about it at any rate, anyway, […]

Well, this is just about the nicest nice time we have ever had: The United States government took an historic step back from its long-running drug war on Thursday, when Attorney General Eric Holder informed the governors of Washington and Colorado that the Department of Justice would allow the states to create a regime that […]

There’s no gunshots or stripper poles, and sadly no alligators guarding a stash, but this story from Washington nonetheless warms the cockles of Yr Wonkette’s cruel dark heart: A Bellingham man wrapped a baggie of marijuana around an arrow and fired it at the second-floor recreation area of Whatcom County Jail on Tuesday morning, Aug. […]

Would you like to know what it looks like when police are not busy arresting 750,000 people A YEAR for getting “high” on the pot? That is so many arrests, but how else are you going to put all the black people in jail? (Sorry black people, you are three times more likely to be […]

A Sudden Valley, Washington, man has been sentenced to 20 days for pulling a gun on a pregnant woman who was smoking a cigarette. Justin Dain Palmer, 25, pulled over his blue Dodge pickup truck to confront the smoking woman around noon Sept. 12, 2012, while she walked on the sidewalk … Through the open […]

As August settles in on Washington, D.C., like a warm, wet Satanic fart, Congresscritters are hightailing it out of town. For the ENTIRE MONTH. During this recess, they plan on talking at and “listening” to their constituents. How will the GOP convince people that they want to come back to Washington, D.C. year after year? […]