Tag: washington

Oh, just go fuck yourself.

Julian Assange Is Pretty Sure Hillary Killed A DNC Staffer Because The Internet Said So

Julian Assange just threw another body on the Clinton murder mystery machine.
Typical.

Secret Muslim Barack Obama’s New House Is Near A Mosque, And The Daily Caller Is ON IT

Maybe Kenyan Muslim Marxist Gay Obama wants to live 1,096 feet from a mosque so he can hop, skip and jump to prayers WITH HIS PEOPLE!
Wouldn't a duplex be more sensible?

Washingtonian Mag: Can’t Barack Obama Just, Like, Ride To The AirBnB On His Fixie?

Washingtonian magazine is rather distressed that Barack Obama intends to live in a really spendy DC neighborhood after he's out of office. Shouldn't a former community organizer have to live in a tenement?

Nice DC Security Guard Arrested Just For Roughing Up Trans Lady In The Bathroom, Unfair!

Hey, a person arrested for peeing while trans - and it wasn't the trans person!

Supreme Court Tells McDonald’s To Shut Its Mac-Hole About Seattle’s $15 Minimum Wage

What's a fast food company to do when duly elected government officials enact a law designed to make companies treat their workers like human beings? In McDonald's case, the answer is "sue all the way to the Supreme Court."...
Gaul is supposed to be a big deal, but it's very disappointing. Terrible golf. Sad!

Donald Trump Gives Serious Foreign Policy Speech Like A Big Boy

Now that Donald Trump has declared himself the Republican Nominee, High Pooh-Bah, and All-Father of the World (Dilute! Dilute!), it's time for him to start Acting Presidential, so he gave a Very Serious Foreign Policy Address today. How serious...
greedy minimum wage worker sticking it to the man

Study Finds Higher Minimum Wage Does Not Destroy Economy, Wingnuts Gon’ Be SO Mad

Oh hey, a $15 minimum wage is not crashing the economy like opponents said it would. Are you shocked?! We're shocked! (We are not shocked.) So, you guys remember Seattle? Of course you do -- it's that big city in...
GO AWAY, DILDO PRESENTS!

Big Surprise: Bundy Militia Dildo Bros Loved To Intimidate Local Sheriffs

One of the biggest disappointments for the Bundy Militia Freedom Insurgents was, of course, their complete failure to rally the people of Oregon, or even of Harney County, to flock to the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge to join their...

John Kasich Opposes D.C. Statehood Because, Ew, There Are Democrats There

For a country that was partly founded on the idea of opposing "taxation without representation," it's always been a tad odd that those who live in our very capital, the District of Columbia, pay taxes while being denied representation....

Ted Cruz Narrowly Escapes Jaws Of Muslim Brotherhood

It's a day, so Ted Cruz is being a dick. Monday morning, he told a gay man at a town hall in New York how much he loves religious liberty, and how it applies to EVERYBODY, including Christians, Jews, atheists, and...

White Castle Officially Wins Contest For Dumbest Thing Said About Minimum Wage

Another day, another fast food company saying a terrible, extremely stupid thing about rising wages. Surprise! This time, the stupid thing in question is being said by an executive from White Castle, that restaurant your insufferable NY friends (as if...
Also refuses to take ex-lax

Ted Cruz Wishes Obama And Hillary Would Stop Forcing Him To Be A Dick All The Time

Back in July, it was kind of a big deal when Ted Cruz called Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell a big ol' liar from the tip of his tail to the top of his carapace. This was not only...

Servers Tell Boss To Take Her Crap Anti-Minimum-Wage Op-Ed And Shove It

Oh hey, it's a Maine story (about the minimum wage, no less) that doesn't directly involve Gov. Paul LePage! Five servers at a restaurant in Portland called Five Fifty-Five have quit in one hell of a mic drop, giving their notice...

What Disgusting ‘Food’ Stuffs Are Sports Stadiums Shoving Into Your Faces Today?

Major League Baseball released its list of stadium foods last Thursday, and we have only one question: who the hell let Guy Fieri design every ballpark food in America? In their quest to push the boundaries of stadium food science,...
Obama's magazine cover JUST KIDDING LOL

In Honor Of Saturday’s Democratic Caucuses, Here Are Some Nakey Pics Of Obama

MADE YOU LOOK. Barack Obama still hasn't accepted our prayer request to do a nakey-time sexy shoot, preferably alongside his new pal Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. But we'll try to give you some O goodness in this post, right...
OK, we like Francis Again

Pope Francis Fixin’ To Quit-Fire Archbishop Who Crammed Kim Davis Down His Throat

It was the best day ever for gay-hatin' Kentucky county clerk Kim Davis. She bedazzled her finest lady jumper and went to Washington, where a super-nice dirty Catholic named Archbishop Carlo Maria Viganò had arranged a special private tête-à-tête, as they rarely...