HOLY MOLY did you see the new Washington Times poll and its cutting, investigative discovery? People think politicians are crooked — crooked as a politician, as they say! [WT]
John McCain will address the Council for National Policy, a secret group of Republican donors who usually don't tell anyone anything. According to a copy of their rules, "The media should not know when or where we meet or who takes part in our programs, before or after a meeting." Unless it's the Washington Times, who delivered the big scoop today! Thanks, Moonie Terrorists! [WT]
New Washington Times editor John Solomon was brought in recently to legitimize the paper’s operations and bring back the cutting journalism of its Golden Days. This should be a very, very easy task. Solomon got off to a good start yesterday when the paper reported that the military-industrial complex is worried about Obama’s inexperience at declaring wars. We hope these brilliant investigate reports continue, for America’s safety. On a more symbolic level, however, Solomon has changed aspects of the Times’ style guide to reflect modern society’s general dislike of racism, sexism and homophobia. How soft have these Moonies gone?
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The cultish Washington Times today featured a front page tell-all about Barack Obama’s military inexperience, and how it has led him to have strange opinions. The Times quoted all sorts of neocon hawks in the military, who believe that Barack Obama’s youthful ignorance on national security has led to him to such wild conclusions as “the surge isn’t winning the war,” “we should withdraw from Iraq at some point” and “the Muslim religion will not bomb America if we act nice to it.” The reliable Washington Times, once again, gets to the heart of the election: How can we elect a man so inexperienced that he isn’t a neocon?
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Whatever detente Wonkette may have had with the dinguses at the Washington Times is over after this little display on Sunday. The Times clumsily opened its commentary doors to a Paultard who — in strict accordance to the Paultard ethos — complains about everything with which he doesn’t agree. He lists Wonkette among those detractors who “have it exactly backward,” and claims that we use a certain insensitive word to describe them — but not Paultards. No, this word is far, far more mature and less offensive to the human condition. We’re pissed.
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MoveOn’s hiring! Let’s all convince the Wash Times’ Robert Stacy McCain to apply. [WT]
How much fun was last night’s Washington Times 25th anniversary rave? The sexy action got so hot that a fire alarm went off and BFFs George H.W. Bush 41 and Reincarnated Jesus H. Christ Reverend Sun Myung Moon were forced to briefly evacuate the party, along with the other 1,500 Moonies and WashTimes employees.
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The Washington Times today offers sad insight into the miserable lives of all 16 of their regular “readers.” Here are two particuarly tragic examples:
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Listen up, haters: The Moonie Times is not a jingoistic right-wing propaganda sheet. In fact, the almost-25-year-old paper actually HATES AMERICA. By our calendar, the Moonies launched the fringe publication in 1982 — you know, the peak of the Ronald Reagan era in Washington?
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Former President George H. W. Bush will deliver the keynote address at a ceremony honoring the Washington Times’ 25th birthday this May. Also appearing: Times founder the Reverend Sun Myung Moon, who, you might remember, is the Messiah. And the King of the Ocean, but it’s in his role as the Messiah that he goes around demanding churches throw out their crosses and start worshipping him instead.
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The Virginia Press Association had its big awards ceremony on Friday night, at the world-famous Water
Those lovable WashTimes kids are at it again!
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Working at the Washington Times sounds about twice as fun as any other media gig we can think of. Whether your boss is threatening violence:
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FishbowlDC is concluding its “Rising Star” contest. We’re not entirely clear on what the contestants were competing for, or what qualifies one as a rising star, but it seems to involve internet polls. And, naturally, massive voter fraud. As can be expected, it quickly became a popularity contest, with someone from something called “Two Mundos Magazine” duking it out with Kara Rowland, an attractive metro reporter from that bastion of respectable journalism, the Washington Times.
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The New York Times today tries to explain to its liberal, godless readers why they don’t need to listen to or believe Insight, the Rev. Moon-funded magazine so awesomely crazy that even the Washington Times is embarrassed to be connected to it.
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