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Posts Tagged ‘washington times’

New Washington Times Poll Will Blow Your Mind

Tuesday, April 8th, 2008

HOLY MOLY did you see the new Washington Times poll and its cutting, investigative discovery? People think politicians are crooked — crooked as a politician, as they say! [WT]


Rev. Sun Myung Moon Makes Dead Presidents Want To Crawl Out Of Their Graves!

Friday, March 28th, 2008


Here’s a fun little movie made by John Gorenfeld, who has a creepy new book out about the Rev. Moon and the Washington Times and all sorts of Bush Family/Cult hijinx. But do not let John McCain see this video, because he doesn’t yet know Teddy Roosevelt died, 89 years ago.


McCain Meets With Secret Republican Fat Cat Cult

Friday, March 7th, 2008

I ate all the LOLcatsJohn McCain will address the Council for National Policy, a secret group of Republican donors who usually don’t tell anyone anything. According to a copy of their rules, “The media should not know when or where we meet or who takes part in our programs, before or after a meeting.” Unless it’s the Washington Times, who delivered the big scoop today! Thanks, Moonie Terrorists! [WT] MORE »


Introducing the Washington Times’ New Unoffensive Style Guide

Wednesday, February 27th, 2008

New Washington Times editor John Solomon was brought in recently to legitimize the paper’s operations and bring back the cutting journalism of its Golden Days. This should be a very, very easy task. Solomon got off to a good start yesterday when the paper reported that the military-industrial complex is worried about Obama’s inexperience at declaring wars. We hope these brilliant investigate reports continue, for America’s safety. On a more symbolic level, however, Solomon has changed aspects of the Times‘ style guide to reflect modern society’s general dislike of racism, sexism and homophobia. How soft have these Moonies gone? MORE »


Wash. Times Blames Obama’s Lack of Hawkishness on Inexperience

Tuesday, February 26th, 2008

The cultish Washington Times today featured a front page tell-all about Barack Obama’s military inexperience, and how it has led him to have strange opinions. The Times quoted all sorts of neocon hawks in the military, who believe that Barack Obama’s youthful ignorance on national security has led to him to such wild conclusions as “the surge isn’t winning the war,” “we should withdraw from Iraq at some point” and “the Muslim religion will not bomb America if we act nice to it.” The reliable Washington Times, once again, gets to the heart of the election: How can we elect a man so inexperienced that he isn’t a neocon? MORE »


Washington Times Doing Our Work For Us

Wednesday, December 5th, 2007

karma is a real fuckerThe retards at the Washington Times are getting what they deserve on this snowiest of evenings. Here’s the link to Julie Bone’s fascinating study of National/Political trends, until they change it. Although the real article can’t be much different. [WT]


Washington Times Columnist Underestimates Wonkette’s Immaturity

Wednesday, December 5th, 2007

more like washington LIARPEOPLEWhatever detente Wonkette may have had with the dinguses at the Washington Times is over after this little display on Sunday. The Times clumsily opened its commentary doors to a Paultard who — in strict accordance to the Paultard ethos — complains about everything with which he doesn’t agree. He lists Wonkette among those detractors who “have it exactly backward,” and claims that we use a certain insensitive word to describe them — but not Paultards. No, this word is far, far more mature and less offensive to the human condition. We’re pissed. MORE »


Thursday, September 13th, 2007

MoveOn’s hiring! Let’s all convince the Wash Times’ Robert Stacy McCain to apply. [WT]


Bush 41, Rev. Moon Almost Tragically Burned To Death

Friday, May 18th, 2007

How much fun was last night’s Washington Times 25th anniversary rave? The sexy action got so hot that a fire alarm went off and BFFs George H.W. Bush 41 and Reincarnated Jesus H. Christ Reverend Sun Myung Moon were forced to briefly evacuate the party, along with the other 1,500 Moonies and WashTimes employees. MORE »


Lonely Shut-ins Wish the Wash ‘Times’ a Very Happy Birthday

Thursday, May 17th, 2007

The Washington Times today offers sad insight into the miserable lives of all 16 of their regular “readers.” Here are two particuarly tragic examples: MORE »