washington times
In the story “Jerry Brown To Washington Times Reporter: ‘Are You a Moonie?’” we referred to idiot reporter Kerry Picket as him, he, his, etc. We are sorry to report that Kerry Picket is in fact a woman. This shames us all — all women, that is, as Picket’s tete-a-tete avec Governor Brown was the [...]
California Governor Jerry Brown dealt with some hack Washington Times reporter in the exact way all elected officials should deal with Washington Times reporters: by repeatedly correcting him on basic facts, pointing and laughing in his (presumably fat and pasty) face, and then delivering a rough-and-ready Jerry Brown-style head-butt to the dingle. After much back-and-forth [...]
How is crazyland? Still crazy! Here’s what the Washington Times posted about a well-known Jewish man from New York: Given the defense articulated by the Imam, which would be offered only for a Muslim man, we must believe this opportunity to remove this Muslim woman from a union with an non-believer would be quickly taken. [...]
A video game from 1998 CONCLUSIVELY PROVES that Marxism is a lie. [Ludwig Von Mises Institute] The Huffington Post and some Islamaphobe blog are in a juicy spat because HuffPo reported the Islamaphobe’s Islamaphobic ads were taken down when they were actually not taken down, prompting MASSIVE RETALIATION via blog post. [AtlasShrugs] One day after [...]
MOONIE MASSACRE: Local videographer and delightful monster Liz Glover tells your Wonkette that she has just been laid off from the Washington Times, along with most other employees. Sorry/Hooray, Liz!
The Moonie Times’ critically mocked real-life adaptation of King Lear appears to have reached its fifth act, where Rev. Moon expands his kingdom into the burgeoning Mass Funeral sector and then fucks off to Paraguay to die. The Washington Times is laying off FORTY percent of its workforce. But… but not for 60 days so [...]
John Solomon, the beloved human brought in a couple of years ago to serve as executive editor of the Washington Times, and possibly save it (?), has come to the following conclusion: fuck this shit, I’m out. He has resigned, effective last Friday. So in the past week, as the great great brilliant divine extraordinary [...]
It sure would be funny if the Washington Times went out of business, except for the poor local reporters and stuff, and Liz Glover, who would be sent to live with Barbara Bush and the Reverend Moon in Paraguay. (The food is shit, a “top-level Pentagon official” tells us.) We assume that the Times IS [...]
MOONIES ON ICE: The Washington Moonie Times newspaper of Washington is firing everyone. EVERYONE! That means the president & publisher, CFO, and chairman. What person in a company can fire a president, publisher, CFO, and chairman? Perhaps the great great Rev. Moon himself?! Editor John Solomon will probably peace the fuck out of there soon, [...]
GREAT LEADER REV. MOON TO STEP DOWN: Washington Times owner and Washington Times editor’s pick-selected author and loudmouth Korean Jesus, The Rev. Sun Myung Moon, is “going Lear” on his church: “SEOUL, South Korea – The Rev. Sun Myung Moon, now approaching 90 and still one of the world’s most controversial religious figures, is handing [...]
Carol Herman, books editor for the Washington Times, recently commissioned herself to review the hottest new book since Going Rogue: the autobiography of great noble universal leader hero Rev. Sun Myung Moon, founder and owner of the Washington Times! Coincidentally it is the best book Carol Herman has read, basically ever. And you can read [...]
It’s Liz Glover! Hi Liz, to whom are you speaking to on the videophone today? Ah, it is Questlove from The Roots, in DC for the Rock the Bells deal, with some important conspiracy theories about Sarah Palin and the RNC!
For several days in late June, Mark Sanford spokesman Joel Sawyer had just about the worst job ever, having to deal with every national reporter and local legislator asking about Sanford’s whereabouts — which he did not know and could not find out, because Mark Sanford makes sure to turn off his cellphone when he’s [...]
