washington post

Too much Nice Time got you down? Well don’t worry kids, here is the Washington Post’s Richard Cohen to sexplain all you ever wanted to know about how Miley Cyrus raped that poor girl in Steubenville. Hmmm. Rape. Pop culture. Womyn things. Do you suppose there will be a single sentence — fuck it, a […]

Oh goody, it is time for Pulitzer-prize winning columnist (yeah, we don’t get how that happened either) Kathleen Parker to explain to us once more why President Obama is being reverse-racist against white people by being, you know, not white. (Or, ahem, as she likes to point out, only half not-white — which is a […]

Ivy-league graduate and Harvard Law Review editor Ted Cruz is a startling example of how a Grade A Dumbass can become a U.S. Senator. From Texas, but it still counts. Apparently, despite attending Princeton for undergrad and Harvard for law school, this guy had no idea that being born in Canada makes one a Canadian […]

It starts with the headline: “A president who pleases no one.” Really, no one at all, not even Michelle? Poor lady, maybe Reggie Love will go straight for her, just this once. But it’s weird, because from here it looks like 44.3% of people are pleased with the president’s constant treason and all the white slavery he […]

Fellows! To the ramparts! Our own beloved fair maiden of the Washington Post editorial page is under attack most foul, and from the most treacherous quarters! Those treacherous traitors being the former ombudsman of the Washington Post! Dudes, he calls her “ugly”! Look, right there: The Ugly Jennifer Rubin. Sure, it purports to be an […]

The Washington Post’s Richard Cohen returns to the scene of the crime*. Becoming the first female president is a worthy goal, but it kind of falls into the category of miles traveled and countries visited. It is an achievement, even a stunning one, but it is not a stirring trumpet call. Even now, her statistics-laden […]

In breaking news-that-shouldn’t-be-news, a Republican Senator has publicly stated that he will help constituents if they call asking for help about a federal program! Ticker-tape parade! Balloons! A spread of the finest Ritz crackers and Costco-brand cheeses in all the land! Who is this brave Republican who will seek to actually help the people who […]

Well, THAT kind of came out of nowhere; there was some stuff on Twitter about all WaPo staff being summoned to the auditorium, and then suddenly we get the announcement that Amazon.com founder Jeff Bezos went and bought the Washington Post newspaper for $250 million. Huh. The purchase does not involve Amazon; it is being […]

Pareene: For some reason, the president has not yet used the loaded term “entitlements,” while proposing that Medicare and Social Security be “reformed,” which is to say made less generous. It’s just very odd that in his speeches about making the middle class more prosperous, the president has not once suggested trying maybe slashing two […]

You gotta admit that it takes a special kind of stupid to be as consistently awful as Richard Cohen has been over the years. We’d link to the many times we’ve had to write a “WHAT THE FUCK RICHARD COHEN” post but we don’t have that kind of time, so here is our Wonkette Richard […]

Hey ladies! Are you looking to go to college, Lean In, and really get ahead in this world? Perhaps you are from a predominantly Muslim country and you are trying to break glass ceilings over there so we don’t have to break glass ceilings over here, something something mixed metaphors. Well, if you are one […]

By now Wonketeers are probably aware that the NSA (which stands for No Such Agency) has not only been collecting “metadata” from Verizon for oh, about seven years now, but also that it has been directly accessing servers from Skype, Yahoo, Google, Microsoft, Apple, and Skype in a program called PRISM in a gigantic effort […]

For someone who spends the day sitting at a computer with NPR playing in the background, Yr Doktor Zoom doesn’t actually use many NPR stories as the starting point for his Wonkets. Today, an exception: We heard this thing on the radio t’other day and knew we would have to write about it, because A) […]

Hello Glenn Kessler, Mr. Dr. The Fact Checker of Washington Post “fame,” into what pretzels of tortured hermeneutics and fussiness are you twisting yourself today, because you are pathologically obsessed with appearing nonpartisan? Will it be three out of four “Pinocchios” for White House Man Dan Pfeiffer, who correctly stated that Republicans “doctored” the emails […]

It is one thing for theater producer and all-around asshat Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Of Course) to get all Bill Clintony, as he did on Monday, and insist that “act of terror” is not “terrorism” so argle bargle something something IMPEACH! Seriously, we are not even joking even though we wish we were, that is what […]