Wonkette tipster “Joe,” a FORMER Washington Mutual account holder, writes: “So I went to check my account and saw this. Apparently the Chinese who now own my account can’t bear to watch either.” YOU RACIST, but close enough! FEEL THE WHOO HOO!

There are no more nights in politics or business — only the endless horrible grind of collapse and fuckery, 24 hours a day, including this newest chapter in our latest, greatest depression: Washington Mutual has collapsed, and was closed by the Federal Government late Thursday night. It’s the biggest bank failure in U.S. history. And the bipartisan congressional-White House-Treasury bailout deal that might have stopped the bloodshed, well John McCain visited Washington for the first time in half a year and wrecked EVERYTHING. MORE »

• GO GET YOUR MONEY PEOPLE: Collapsing investment banks are yesterday’s news, trendsetters! Now we can turn our attention to the biggest possible commercial banks failing miserably, like, say, Washington Mutual. And when that collapses on Sunday, probably, it will likely drain up what’s left of the FDIC’s insurance fund. The FDIC can always get more money from the Treasury, or we can just have a BANK RUN!!! EVERYONE RUN TO THE BANK!!! PANIC! CHAOS FIRE OBAMA BURN!! [AP]