washington

Hey ladies. You know how the GOP is all wanting you to like them? And not just like them, but like them like them, because of how you are all slutty whoremonsters who vote for Democrats? Well, the Wisconsin State Assembly GOP Majority Leader is seeking to give ‘women’s outreach’ his personal touch. Unfortunately, he […]

So you know how President Obama called for a minimum wage of $10.10 in the State of the Union? Well, that is a great plan if you HATE THE POORS. But if you love the poor, if you have compassion in your heart and a soul full of goodness, then you know that best way […]

David Remnick wrote a million or so words about Barack Obama in the New Yorker this week, and several of those words were about the loco weed. And what did The POTUS say about the pot for us? “As has been well documented, I smoked pot as a kid, and I view it as a […]

So we all know that the GOP is trying really hard to keep ‘undesirables’ from voting — whether we are talking about youngsters, racial minorities, or anyone who might be too poor to afford proper ID. (Thanks, SCOTUS.) But North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory (R-1950s) has come up with a novel way to disenfranchise minorities: […]

Welcome, wonkeesters, to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we hose down the news, filter out the stories that weren’t quite worth a whole post but too stoopid to ignore altogether, spray the whole mess with cheap booze, and bring you the runoff. Enjoy! Our first story violates the entire premise of […]

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford called on Canada’s government to decriminalize marijuana Thursday, but later said nah, nevermind, forget it, bad idea you know, he must have been totally wasted to have suggested anything of the sort, and are you going to finish that burrito? You sure?

Wow, Gary was right! Leggy Fox News CNN Idiot S.E. Cupp truly has taken the lead for the dumbest column of 2014, and it’s going to take some massive expenditures of PunditDerp to surpass her thought-like statements about marijuana. It’s also depressing to know that someone will pull it off anyway. If nothing else, it […]

Duuuuuudes. Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the (*koff!*) weekly feature where we roll up whatever seeds and stems are left from stories that weren’t quite compelling enough to make a full post, but too stoopid to ignore altogether, and then we, uhhhh… hahahahahaha Yeah, we totally do, man. Our first story probably could […]

Happy Sacred Baby Festival to all you Wonkers! Hope you’ve had as much festivity as you can handle, and perhaps more.* And now, for some Happy Holiderp: a roundup of seasonal stories that were too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not quite worth a whole post of their own. We recommend that you treat it […]

Well this is nice, indeed. We weren’t surprised at all when we heard that yet another Catholic school had pressured a faculty member to resign after finding out he’d gotten married to his same-sex partner. But in the Seattle suburb of Sammamish, when students at Eastside Catholic High School learned that Vice Principal Mark Zmuda […]

Wyoming’s Own Liz Cheney is very from Wyoming, and probably so is her husband Phil Perry, who “continues to practice law in Washington,” and “has been registered to vote in both Virginia and Wyoming for the past nine months, even though he signed a document in Wyoming saying he was not registered elsewhere,” which is such […]

Oh, damn, Wonkers, you know what the adorable kittens mean, don’t you? The adorable kittens mean we have a story about something terrible and we’re going to try to buffer it with something sweet and cute. Does that work, or is it just going to make you guys start feeling sad whenever you see an […]

Hey bitchez. Whatcha doin’? Being stupid bitches? That sounds about right. Here, for instance, is a documentary prepared by some cool guy at whoever does the in-house documentaries for the DC Metro public transportation system, which everyone loves very much, and it is all about how their buses only break down every 8,000 miles, so […]

Once a year the Federalist Society has a dinner in Washington DC. It is a dinner for lawyers. This year they promised an appearance by Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. I wondered what he might have to say as their featured guest; I had seen him a few times while he was at work and he did not […]

OhEmmGee, you guys! Remember how a year ago we were all Hopey and Changey Part II and still drunkenly reveling in the streets because Blablack Blackbama was returning triumphantly to the White House and we were finally done with Richie Rich and his TigerBeat sidekick? Well strap on your campaign buttons because while there are […]