December 4, 2013
Hey bitchez. Whatcha doin’? Being stupid bitches? That sounds about right. Here, for instance, is a documentary prepared by some cool guy at whoever does the in-house documentaries for the DC Metro public transportation system, which everyone loves very much, and it is all about how their buses only break down every 8,000 miles, so [...]
Once a year the Federalist Society has a dinner in Washington DC. It is a dinner for lawyers. This year they promised an appearance by Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. I wondered what he might have to say as their featured guest; I had seen him a few times while he was at work and he did not [...]
OhEmmGee, you guys! Remember how a year ago we were all Hopey and Changey Part II and still drunkenly reveling in the streets because Blablack Blackbama was returning triumphantly to the White House and we were finally done with Richie Rich and his TigerBeat sidekick? Well strap on your campaign buttons because while there are [...]
Ann Coulter wrote a book. It’s her tenth! Congratulations, Ann! We don’t know much about the etiquette of these things, but evidently the tenth is the “fluorescent” anniversary in publishing, since her friends at the Daily Caller invited everyone over to their place this week to celebrate.
Eight minutes can be a really long time. It’s about the amount of time it takes light from the sun to travel to the earth. Or in more earthly terms, it’s twice as long as Gary’s never-gonna-happen fantasy about Piper Perabo. But if you are an addled, half-brained drooling Tea-jadist, then it is just the [...]
For some darn reason, the organizers of the “Million Vet March on the Memorials” are suddenly distancing themselves from the fine people who showed up in DC over the weekend to tear down the barriers around the WWII Memorial and demand the impeachment of Fake Preznit Obama. On their homepage and their FacePlaceSpace page, the [...]
OK, not that Lawnmower Man. Here is a gentleman who has taken it upon himself to tidy up memorials and monuments around Washington DC during the government shutdown. Says Gawker: Chris Cox of South Carolina could be seen popping up at various memorials over the last few days with his trusty chainsaw, lawnmower, and Palmetto [...]
We are in DC just in time for Gubmint Shutdown Happy Good Times Fun! Hooray! So we, along with all you federal workers, poured some vodka on our corn flakes and went out for a good time. Let’s see us!
It is weird to us, but some of you do not actually read Wonkette more than 200 times a month. So you may have missed yesterday’s announcement that I, your Editrix, am here in this nation’s glorious capital, and that you may buy me liquor. We shall meet from six to nine p.m. at the [...]
Wot’s this then, we are in our nation’s glorious capital, and we are having a party, by which we mean you may come and meet us and buy us drinks? IT’S TWOO! IT’S TWOO! We shall meet Saturday, from 6 to 9 p.m., at the Melrose Hotel in Georgetown (2430 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington, DC [...]
Imagine you’ve been asked to come up with a process to collect unpaid property taxes, and because you’re a terrible person you’ve decided that your process will be as painful as possible for the property owners while remaining at least tenuously legal. Do you think you could do better than Washington, D.C., where private investors [...]
Hold onto your helmets, Wonkers. (HAHA! We are just kidding! You do not wear motorcycle helmets, because FREEDOM!) The DC City Council, or maybe the parks service, or something, we do not care to read too properly at this here particular moment, not that they probably were that specific about it at any rate, anyway, [...]
Well, this is just about the nicest nice time we have ever had: The United States government took an historic step back from its long-running drug war on Thursday, when Attorney General Eric Holder informed the governors of Washington and Colorado that the Department of Justice would allow the states to create a regime that [...]
There’s no gunshots or stripper poles, and sadly no alligators guarding a stash, but this story from Washington nonetheless warms the cockles of Yr Wonkette’s cruel dark heart: A Bellingham man wrapped a baggie of marijuana around an arrow and fired it at the second-floor recreation area of Whatcom County Jail on Tuesday morning, Aug. [...]