Now that George W. Bush’s war secretary, Robert Gates, is making cuts in missile defense spending, he is officially a San Francisco liberal who wants America to get bombed — nuclear bombed, like on 9/11. Do you want to get 9/11ed again? asks the Heritage Foundation’s new movie, 33 Minutes, where a bunch of old farts say that Iran and North Korea will nuke us with ICBMs in 33 minutes if we make these missile defense spending cuts. The music is scary, very scary, and somewhat Muslin-sounding in the beginning, as we look at New York City. 9/11. [Heritage Foundation via Spencer Ackerman]

Even though Barack Obama is ramping up the Afghanistan war now, as well as the official policy towards Pakistan known as “Fucking Around,” what we need is more wars, all the time, doesn’t matter if they’re major land wars or just playful warring. This must be done, because if we truly want the oppressed world to enjoy our freedoms, we must first kill them in wars. Comically evil Republican handyman Bill Kristol, for example, would like to see at least one new war every day. And to get his opinion out there — because it’s not like every major media publication gives him regular column space whenever he asks — he has formed a new non-profit that is much like his old evil one, Project for the New American Century, the one founded during the Clinton years that went somewhat dormant during the Bush years when all of its members were busy invading Iraq. MORE »

For the past couple of months, Democrats have successfully promoted the notion that Rush Limbaugh, a flatulent sea donkey with a popular radio show for losers, was in fact the “real” head of the Republican party. This assertion has the advantage of being at least sort of true; Limbaugh’s show gets some frighteningly insane number of listeners, and he’s powerful enough that actual Republican politicians who cross him end up publicly castrated before live audiences of bloodthirsty Limbaugh fans. MORE »

Oh here’s some big news: Barack Obama has officially declared defeat in Iraq! War is over and our troops are headed home in shame! Stay with us as our president explains how he is going to pull soldiers out of the Middle East, a little bit at a time, until at some point in the future we have mere tens of thousands of troops overseas instead of hundreds of thousands. MORE »

A Democratic Hill staffer with a clear “liberal bias” writes to TPM, offering a taste of what we can expect from the Internet in a post-Gregg world: “It’s hard not to think that Gregg’s withdrawal, with the grumbling about the census and the stimulus, was not timed to cause the most damage possible to the Obama administration. Releasing the statement just as Obama took the stage in Peoria was clearly designed to undermine the President’s event. The fact he scheduled a presser only seems to confirm it… MORE »

TORTURE DAVID DENBY WITH TRUTH & ETHICS: Porn-addict day-trading slimeball David Denby continues his ignorant campaign of malice against Wonkette, on your public radio stations. Right now, he’s on Larry Mantle’s very good “AirTalk” show on Pasadena’s KPCC. Call in, be polite, get past those screeners, 1-866-893-5722, and MAKE DENBY CRY. [KPCC Airtalk]

An iconic postwar British playwright who hated America so much, Harold Pinter, died yesterday. He really despised George Bush’s war in Iraq, as well as the other American wars and killings: “The crimes of the U.S. throughout the world have been systematic, constant, clinical, remorseless, and fully documented but nobody talks about them.” Indeed, freedom is on the march. Let’s end with a happier quote: “When the storm is over and night falls and the moon is out in all its glory and all you’re left with is the rhythm of the sea, of the waves, you know what God intended for the human race, you know what paradise is.” [NYT]

So the members of lefty protest group Code Pink were watching the YouTube of the Iraqi journalist chucking his shoes at shifty George Bush and realized, “OMG, why didn’t we think of that first?” And voila, press release! A forthcoming event! MORE »

Everyone loves George W. Bush so much, and even more so when he gets all cute and modest about his epic record of WIN. Over the Thanksgiving holiday, Bush invited hungry street urchin Charles Gibson into his secret Appalachian masturbatorium, Camp David, for a series of interviews with himself and his first lady, Laura. There is a 7-page transcript. Page 3 is where the cool kids are hanging out. MORE »

Every six months or so you will read something in the paper about a kooky new DARPA project where military scientists have outfitted wasps with nuclear warheads, or invented some kind of mind-reading goo or Cloak of Invisibility or whatever. Your semi-annual installment of freaky War Science News has researchers debating the utility of autonomous robots that could maybe avoid torturing people and bombing cemeteries. MORE »

Finally, the October Surprise! (Ashley Todd’s cut-nut negroid fantasies were in no way worthy of the title.) We have a war, of sorts, in Syria! Who knows why or anything. It’s the Kissinger Doctrine all over again: Just bomb shit, everywhere, whenever you feel like it. Who’s gonna stop you, HEHNGHH? MORE »