Oh LOOKY LOO at who’s ashamed of America’s noble Judeo-Christian heritage! A very suspicious email message went out from the Republican National Committee on Christmas Day, wishing everyone “happy holidays.” This failure to mention Xmas is a direct affront to the baby Jesus and his father, Santa Claus. MORE »

It’s not New Year’s until the ball drops in Times Square on New Year’s Eve, and Christmas celebrations cannot begin until a woman knocks over the Pope on Christmas Eve. And so began another Feliz Navidad around the world, once the lady knocked down the Pope. Happy Holiday, CNN online editor stuck working on Christmas Day! [CNN International]

Here’s a special Xmas Photo of your president and first lady “getting down” (that’s Chicago ACORN talk) with the red space monster “MUNO” from teevee’s Yo Gabba Gabba. Who would want to go to Hawaii when you could do this all night, in front of a portrait of George Washington, WHO BUILT THIS HOUSE WITH BLACK SLAVE LABOR? [Flickr]

Beloved Nazi Pope Joseph Ratzinger was just doing whatever He does at the Vatican on Christmas Eve, when a mysterious Lady In Red just cold knocked his old Nazi ass to the floor, for like two seconds, no big, but of course it is Christmas Sacrilege to do this to this guy, the current pope and former Nazi and future Sinter Klaus. Fröhliche Weihnachten! MORE »

Don’t mind that bearded fanatic in his low-altitude primitive aircraft flying around the skyscrapers tonight! The government is totally aware of this problem, and has chosen to just sort of “let it play out.” Happy Christmas, everybody! [NORAD Santa Tracker]

WOW. So this lady, “Bunny,” is so furious that, uhm, the Senate would pass Health Care Reform on, uhm, a working day/weekday before Christmas, that she just has no idea what to do at all, beyond call C-SPAN. So she took down her Christmas tree, and the wreath, because these are pagan symbols from the Scandanavian barbarians who worship nature and the Viking God Wōden the Senate hates Jesus’ birthday that we in the Western Christian Tradition celebrate somewhat arbitrarily tomorrow, because the Roman calendar was kind of sloppy about getting Winter Solstice right, etc. Also something about “the Germans,” and “genocide.” Fröhliche Weihnachten! [TPM]

Wonkette artistic contributor (and Chicago Reader staffer, yay!) Lauri Apple has a special War On Xmas Eve present to bless all of you, everyone: It’s the Talking Thomas Friedman Doll, direct from a business-class flight from some exotic foreign destination with Pizza Huts and golf courses! He’s so full of crap, your dogs will try to eat him! MORE »

By weirdly popular demand, here is the infamous video of some Paultards singing a very terrible version of “Twelve Days of Christmas,” wherein the partridge “goes Galt” and the Maidens all run away screaming because, jesus, Paultards are singing! [YouTube]

At about 7 a.m. on this holiest of days, the “Day Before Xmas,” 60 senators who got a bribe from Harry Reid are expected to do some final procedural vote on health care reform, hooray! Your editor is on the West Coast trying to “enjoy the holidays,” and he is NOT getting up at 4 a.m. So, here’s a magical “scheduled post.” If something happens, yay. If something doesn’t, yay? [Washington Post]

Hmm so why are Wonkette’s lazy-ass “you’d think they’d notice it’s a Recession” writers posting even less than usual? Jesus’ solstice birthday! (And, uhh, the whole next two weeks.) So here’s a special “Charlie Brown War On Xmas” collection of all the local-news reports on dumb fat fools seeing Jeebus everywhere. [Everything Is Terrible via Andrew Sullivan]

Hooray, at exactly 12:47 p.m., it is Winter Solstice! Look outside. Does it look “wintry”? Congratulations, that is how it is supposed to look. And because it’s the shortest day of the year, go ahead and start drinking now. Perfectly legal! [National Geographic, Annapolis Capital]

DOES NEWELL KNOW? Santa has, apparently, made room for gingers on his War on Xmas Gift List. [The Awl]

It’s always the War On Xmas somewhere, which is why we feel obligated to bring you this video of … uh, a fox trying to move in on some cat food thrown around the entrance of a building? Yeah but the cat is all I do not think so, you fuck. Anyway, don’t miss the Sunday News Chat Shows from Washington! Sure to be good ones, today. [YouTube via Choire]