Tag Archives: war on women

  #RIPpatriarchy

GOP Ladies Cool With Letting Menfolk Do All The Presidenting, Thanks

We all know the GOP is the real party of, by, and for chicks because they have told us SO many times. But that doesn’t mean they care about how Chick-Americans are doing in these American United States. Or whether Chick-Americans ever obtain anything laughably approaching equality in the workplace or our government or anywhere else, really. Come ON. It’s one thing to have campaign ads that show pictures of Republican women being Republican — and women! — but it’s something else entirely to care about whether those pretty ladies ever hold any actual power. Read more on GOP Ladies Cool With Letting Menfolk Do All The Presidenting, Thanks…
  We’re just not that into her

Carly Fiorina Begs America To Beg Her To Run For President

The view from inside Carly's head
Photo by Beth Ethier Lady Republican Carly Fiorina — whose name is pretty much synonymous with “EPIC FAIL” and “Demon Sheep” and “LOL!!!” — is pretty sure there is a groundswell of grassroots support for her to run for president. At least if she can convince the grassroots to start swelling. Read more on Carly Fiorina Begs America To Beg Her To Run For President…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Electoral Dysfunction Edition

Wonkette does not allow magic scrolls, either.
Is it Saturday already? Must be time to put on the old Hazmat suit — which we never leave the house without now, on account of the ‘bola — and go skim off the worst of the dumbth in the comment queue for you, our dear readers. It’s an eclectic grab bag of goo this week, but we see that we moved some folks to political activism! Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Electoral Dysfunction Edition…
  When did you stop assaulting your wife?

Conservative Nutjob Dennis Prager Sexually Assaults His Wife, So What’s The Big Deal?

Your lips are saying no but he's saying yes
Damn those feminists and their lies about “rape” and “sexual assault” and the “war on women” and other “things” Democrats say just to get people to vote for them. Because we all know that “hey, did you know rape is a thing?” is a winning election strategy, which is why feminists rule the country. Read more on Conservative Nutjob Dennis Prager Sexually Assaults His Wife, So What’s The Big Deal?…
  bumfight

Sarah Palin So Ashamed Of, ‘Humiliated By,’ Drunken Brawlin’ Bristol

Klassy as fuck
For the first time ever, not including the other time a month ago, Sarah Palin finally speaks on the humiliating drunken #PalinBrawl, in which her drunk-and-barefoot klan of klassy kids who are klassy showed just how klassy they can be. And Sarah, poor dear, is humiliationated! Read more on Sarah Palin So Ashamed Of, ‘Humiliated By,’ Drunken Brawlin’ Bristol…
  Check Out The Government Teats On That Chick

GOP Senate Candidate Would Be Winning If Stupid Women Couldn’t Vote

And it's been all downhill since 1919
Sen. Cory Booker’s Republican opponent in the New Jersey race for U.S. Senate, Jeff Bell, has an excellent theory (which is his and was invented by him) about why he’s way, way behind Booker in the polls: It’s those darn women and their dumb dependence on the federal government. Way to go, Republican Outreach machine! Maybe the GOP will rebrand itself again. Read more on GOP Senate Candidate Would Be Winning If Stupid Women Couldn’t Vote…
  Very Serious Journamalism Meets Very Serious Talking Points

GOP Will Give Pregnant Ladies ‘Whatever It Is That We Can Offer’ Except For One Little Thing

Just trying to remember which talking point works here
In the never-ending quest to prove that every member of the Republican Party is dumber than he (or she, there are like half a dozen chicks too!) looks, Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus went on Meet The Press Sunday to really drive the message home again some more again some more. Read more on GOP Will Give Pregnant Ladies ‘Whatever It Is That We Can Offer’ Except For One Little Thing…
  oh dear kaili joy seems to be quite mad about a thing

Federal Court Saves Texas Women From Eternal Hellfire, Also Abortions

It's for your own good, ladies
Perhaps you are wondering what, exactly, is terrible and stupid and wrong about the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals’ decision to shut down pretty much all of Texas’s abortion clinics? Sit back, grab a slut pill, and let Kaili Joy madsplain you. Read more on Federal Court Saves Texas Women From Eternal Hellfire, Also Abortions…
  They're also FOR being against everything

Republicans Rebranding Again (Again), This Time As Party Of ‘Ideas’ LOL

They sure love us
Since it has been almost five whole minutes since the Republican Party tried again to rebrand itself again unsuccessfully again (turns out stock photos can’t vote; who knew?), there’s a new new super extra new plan to convince voters the Republican Party does not suck. We’re hoping it doesn’t fail until we at least finish writing about it. Read more on Republicans Rebranding Again (Again), This Time As Party Of ‘Ideas’ LOL…
  Thanks Obama AND feminists

Feminism To Blame For White House Security Breach, Obviously

At least we can all agree she isn't the best
Photo by Gage Skidmore The White House has had a number of security problems recently — namely, that there doesn’t seem to be much in the way of security. One could argue that maybe the Secret Service is too busy banging Colombian hookers on the job. But White House Security Expert Laura Ingraham (R-Fox News), who used to work at the White House one time with St. Ronald Reagan, so ergo expert, knows the real reason: It is because, like football, White House security is a man’s game that has been feminized and wussified and political corrected, thanks A LOT, liberals. Read more on Feminism To Blame For White House Security Breach, Obviously…
  The mansplaination of the unfairness of life

Bill O’Reilly Thinks Michelle Obama Is A Big Dumb Girl

Dumb ladies want fairness because dumb
First lady Michelle Obama sure asks a lot of dumb questions. When she addressed the United Nations Global Education First Initiative earlier this week, for example, she was all, “Do we truly value women as equals, or do we see them as merely second-class citizens?” and “Are we working to become more equal, more free?” These are stupid questions, obviously, because who ever said life is even supposed to be fair? That is just life, and it is unfair, but what’s so unfair about that? Read more on Bill O’Reilly Thinks Michelle Obama Is A Big Dumb Girl…
  Her horse is still classier than you people

Ladies, Stop Offending Ann Romney With How Stupid You Are

Offended Egg is offended
How many times does Her Royal Horse-Riding Majesty Ann Romney have to explain this to YOU PEOPLE? Sheesh! This so-called “war on women” claptrap Democrats can’t stop blah blahing about is so dumb and so 2012 and so not even real anyway, so why are women — who are so much smarter than Democrats think they are — so stupid as to keep falling for it? HUH? Read more on Ladies, Stop Offending Ann Romney With How Stupid You Are…
  only sexists talk about sexism

Senate Republicans Stand Up For Ladies’ Right To Be Paid Unfairly

You don't deserve that beer, pal
Ladies of America, are you feeling that warm reassurance you get from having manly champions who will fight for you in the halls of power? Pack your sunglasses because no matter what the weather, a sickly orange glow of self-congratulation will be coming your way from the Senate Republicans following their fourth consecutive filibuster of the Paycheck Fairness Act on Monday. Read more on Senate Republicans Stand Up For Ladies’ Right To Be Paid Unfairly…
  Your morning cup of wut?

Mitt Romney Is STILL Never Going To Be President, Pot Saves Lives, And Other News You Can Maybe Use

I actually have no idea how to do this
It is a day. Of the week. Here is some news: Mitt Romney gave an interview to Hugh Hewitt. He promised really a lot that he is not going to try to not be president for a third time, really, he swears, unless the entire Republican Party that never liked him begs him to run and lose again, pretty please, with a cherry on top. That is not going to happen. People are talking about it anyway. He’s still not going to be president. The end. Read more on Mitt Romney Is STILL Never Going To Be President, Pot Saves Lives, And Other News You Can Maybe Use…
  Bills 'N' Things

Republicans Will Win All The Lady Votes With Exciting New Strategy: ‘Women Be Shopping’

We bet you're just as embarrassed at being reminded of this as we are for remembering it in the first place
OK, ladies, you’d better be ready, because here comes the 743rd Republican effort to convince you that there’s no “war on women” — instead, there’s a War For Women, and the GOP is totes going to win it because it knows what women REALLY care about. And what women really care about is not all that dull boring ‘bortion and contraceptives stuff, but rather the simple realities of everyday life, which does not revolve around your vagina, for godssakes. Which is why, before giving up on everything except maybe trying to pass an immigration bill that the Senate won’t even look at, House Republicans introduced a package of bills Wednesday to make life better for women. Cathy McMorris Rodgers took some time away from lying about Obamacare to explain why ladies are going to finally see that Republicans are their besties forever: Read more on Republicans Will Win All The Lady Votes With Exciting New Strategy: ‘Women Be Shopping’…
  boneheaded density

Ladies, Please Stop Thinking About Your Vagina And Start Thinking About Your Sad Brittle Bones

You’d think by now the Republicans would just be trying to figure out how to just take voting rights away from ladies and blahs and browns and homosexxicans rather than pretending that any part of their platform will ever appeal to anybody but angry white straight guys. But, in a testament to an absolutely blinkered level of thick-headedness, Republicans are still trying to win over the very people they loathe. Their latest effort revolves around hoping that if they just yell “women’s health women’shealthWOMEN’SHEALTH” louder and louder and over and over, somehow it will come to mean what they want it to mean, which is to say that it will no longer mean anything about babbies or ‘bortions. Instead, “women’s health” will become synonymous with osteoporosis, which is no doubt the most gripping health problem facing American women. Read more on Ladies, Please Stop Thinking About Your Vagina And Start Thinking About Your Sad Brittle Bones…