war on women

If it’s a day that ends in “y,” (and it is, we checked the Google), then it’s a safe bet that someone somewhere is trying to shove their limited-government legislation right up your vagina to protect you from yourself. For “life” and “freedom” and “babies” and “safety” and “stuff.” This is not news; in fact, […]

Hey ladies. You know how the GOP is all wanting you to like them? And not just like them, but like them like them, because of how you are all slutty whoremonsters who vote for Democrats? Well, the Wisconsin State Assembly GOP Majority Leader is seeking to give ‘women’s outreach’ his personal touch. Unfortunately, he […]

Assuming that Hillary Clinton runs for President, here’s a sample of what we can look forward to for the next two years: an endless Fox News rehashing of Bill Clinton’s peckerdilloes and all the related weirdness that followed. And by interviewing Kathleen Willey Tuesday night on Fox, thought leader Megyn Kelly is apparently setting the […]

Sen. Rand Paul is just sick of the Democrats doing war on women by tolerating the continued existence of Bill Clinton, the sexual predator who had a consensual affair with a lady who worked for him (this is the only real instance of workplace sexual harassment in history, according to Republicans). And so he is […]

In case you missed it because you were sleeping off your Saturday hangover, or had something better to do like watching paint dry, Sen. Rand “Aqua Buddha” Paul mansplained, as only a Republican can, how there isn’t really a war on women, except there is, but Democrats started it. (Also, he’s rubber, you’re glue, and […]

The nice folks at the Washington Free Beacon want you to know that this whole completely fictitious “War on Women” thing, which never existed to begin with, is now OVER. Not only is the official response to the State of the Union address going to be given by a Gyno-American, but the RNC’s Winter Meeting […]

Ever since the GOP lost 183% of the non-penis vote in 2012, we have been pleasantly surprised at the abrupt turnaround of the Republican Party. Who would have imagined a pro-choice GOP that fights tooth and nail for equal pay for women! But for every two steps forward, there is the inevitable step backwards, this […]

Forty-one years ago today, the Supreme Court made the bold declaration that what a woman does with her uterus is her own fucking business (before a fetus is viable, and then it gets kind of murky). And we Vagina-Americans have been fighting to remind the country that no, seriously, this is our legal right for […]

Hey, kids, it’s January (really, we checked the Google), so you know what that means, right? Time for Republicans to make their annual attempt to pass a “No Taxpayer Funding For Abortion” bill. But wait, you are saying to yourself, isn’t taxpayer funding for abortion already prohibited? Yes, you are correct, and it has been […]

This post is brought to you by our friends at EMILY’s List. 2013 was quite the year for the GOP and their never-ending fight to restrict reproductive rights. We saw House Republicans introduce their annual bill to strip funding from Planned Parenthood. Several state legislatures filed new “Targeted Regulation of Abortion Providers” or TRAP laws […]

Hey ladies. 2014 is around the corner, and that means that more GOP candidates will be mansplaining to you about how you shouldn’t be raped illegitimately and that military boys will be rapey boys so shut your mouth and make a goddam sammich. But this time around, the GOP wants to win over the Ovary-American […]

Ohaithere, Rick Santorum! Now that you’ve made a movie about magic candles that help Christians get pregnant, what else is in your quiver? How about the Constitution’s guarantee of the freedom to be free of others imposing their values on you while you are imposing your values on others? Yes, that is a good freedom! […]

Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired of hearing about some douchehole politician introducing yet another bill to protect the unborn masturbating fetuses and borrowing some nifty ideas from the not-hyperbole-but-actual-literal Nazis to explain how magic ladyparts work ergo ban abortion? Well, too bad, suckas, because that won’t be stopping anytime soon. […]

Good news, Republicans! You know how you keep losing the lady vote and you cannot understand why oh why that is so, because golly gee, telling lady voters they will lose their health care and they should say, “Thank you, God, for sending me this nice rapist’s baby” and “You can’t have equal pay for […]

Hey, whores, good news! You know how we’ve all had a major case of the sads ever since President Obama started personally force-feeding slut pills down our throats and infamying America like 9/11 and Pearl Harbor? Thankfully, the D.C. Court of Appeals has ruled that we don’t need no stinkin’ ladyparts health care after all, […]