Tag Archives: war on women

  You'll have nothing and who cares if you like it?

Fifth Circuit Protects Texas Ladies From ‘Unsafe’ Abortions By Letting Them Have None At All

You didn't want those clinics, did you?
Good thing Texas-Americans of the lady persuasion are accustomed by now to courts opening and closing their abortion clinics, so they won’t be shocked when most of their clinics are shut down again. In the epic, years-long legal battle to decide whether and how and when abortion providers may provide abortions in Texas, a three-judge panel of the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals issued an opinion Tuesday saying, basically, “How about never? Is never good for you? TOO BAD!” Read more on Fifth Circuit Protects Texas Ladies From ‘Unsafe’ Abortions By Letting Them Have None At All…
  Congratulations lifers

Young Mom Charged With Murder For Home Abortion, Another ‘Pro-Life’ Victory!

Just the unborn kind though
Terrific news for harmless little ol’ grandmas who just want to “sidewalk counsel” baby-killing whores outside health clinics, so they don’t make the wrong decisions. A young woman in Georgia is now in jail and facing murder charges for making the wrong decision, by giving herself a home abortion, and delivering a five-month-old fetus who died. Her name is Kenlissa Jones, she is 23, and — bonus! — she already has a two-year-old son who, if she’s imprisoned for murder, won’t have a mother anymore. Success! Read more on Young Mom Charged With Murder For Home Abortion, Another ‘Pro-Life’ Victory!…
  It's like equality but different

Republican Ladies Have Own Equal Pay Bill, Aren’t They Just The Cutest Things?

Stop saying Republicans don’t care about women! They do TOO care about women. Just because they keep trying to pass laws to restrict women’s health care, and just because they suffer from verbal diarrhea about rape, and just because they think women don’t deserve equal pay for equal work because they keep blocking the Paycheck Fairness Act because that’ll just lead to unfair lawsuits against employers and murder all the jobs — none of that means they do not heart the ladies so hard! Why look, they’re even promoting a new bill to prove it! Read more on Republican Ladies Have Own Equal Pay Bill, Aren’t They Just The Cutest Things?…
  Why can't white men catch a break?

Bill O’Reilly: Hillary Clinton To Murder All The Poor White Christian Men, Goodbye America

The world’s greatest and bravest and most honest award-winning war correspondent and objective reporter, Bill O’Reilly, offered his own Hot Take on Hillary Clinton’s chances of beating all the Republicans to a bloody pulp in the 2016 election. In O’Reilly’s fair and balanced nonpartisan analysis, Clinton has the clear advantage, and the reason will amaze you! Read more on Bill O’Reilly: Hillary Clinton To Murder All The Poor White Christian Men, Goodbye America…
  girls with high self-esteem

Science: Democrat Women Oppressing Democrat Men, By Beating Them In Elections Except When They Don’t

they have to be stopped
USA Today’s Ross Baker maintains a day job as a political science professor. This is a good thing for Ross. And while he is not the kind of scientist with the scary numbers that some Americans always mistrust, he is the kind of scientist who can write something so unique in its stupidity that it gets published in the editorial section of a national daily paper. Read more on Science: Democrat Women Oppressing Democrat Men, By Beating Them In Elections Except When They Don’t…
  Enjoy your sexytime while you still can

Wannabe Missouri Gov Lady Wishes Liberals Would Stop Porning The Children

She seems nice
Lucky you, Missouri. If you play your voting cards just right, your new governor in 2016 will be this real nice lady, Catherine Hanaway. She has some neat thoughts on sex and liberals and ladies, and sorry, Missouri, but if you elect her, you will probably never have sexytime fun again because she is REALLY against that: Read more on Wannabe Missouri Gov Lady Wishes Liberals Would Stop Porning The Children…
  your tax dollars at work

House Votes To Extra Super Double-Ban Taxpayer Funding For Abortion (Which Is Already Illegal)

If this terror continues, even more people will have healthcare! God help us!
Republicans love tradition, and that is why on Thursday, on the anniversary of Roe v. Wade (haha, take that, ladies!), the House held its traditional vote for the No Taxpayer Funding For Abortion Act, which they introduce every single congressional session, because tradition! Read more on House Votes To Extra Super Double-Ban Taxpayer Funding For Abortion (Which Is Already Illegal)…
  #RIPpatriarchy

GOP Ladies Cool With Letting Menfolk Do All The Presidenting, Thanks

We all know the GOP is the real party of, by, and for chicks because they have told us SO many times. But that doesn’t mean they care about how Chick-Americans are doing in these American United States. Or whether Chick-Americans ever obtain anything laughably approaching equality in the workplace or our government or anywhere else, really. Come ON. It’s one thing to have campaign ads that show pictures of Republican women being Republican — and women! — but it’s something else entirely to care about whether those pretty ladies ever hold any actual power. Read more on GOP Ladies Cool With Letting Menfolk Do All The Presidenting, Thanks…
  We’re just not that into her

Carly Fiorina Begs America To Beg Her To Run For President

The view from inside Carly's head
Photo by Beth Ethier Lady Republican Carly Fiorina — whose name is pretty much synonymous with “EPIC FAIL” and “Demon Sheep” and “LOL!!!” — is pretty sure there is a groundswell of grassroots support for her to run for president. At least if she can convince the grassroots to start swelling. Read more on Carly Fiorina Begs America To Beg Her To Run For President…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Electoral Dysfunction Edition

Wonkette does not allow magic scrolls, either.
Is it Saturday already? Must be time to put on the old Hazmat suit — which we never leave the house without now, on account of the ‘bola — and go skim off the worst of the dumbth in the comment queue for you, our dear readers. It’s an eclectic grab bag of goo this week, but we see that we moved some folks to political activism! Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Electoral Dysfunction Edition…
  When did you stop assaulting your wife?

Conservative Nutjob Dennis Prager Sexually Assaults His Wife, So What’s The Big Deal?

Your lips are saying no but he's saying yes
Damn those feminists and their lies about “rape” and “sexual assault” and the “war on women” and other “things” Democrats say just to get people to vote for them. Because we all know that “hey, did you know rape is a thing?” is a winning election strategy, which is why feminists rule the country. Read more on Conservative Nutjob Dennis Prager Sexually Assaults His Wife, So What’s The Big Deal?…
  bumfight

Sarah Palin So Ashamed Of, ‘Humiliated By,’ Drunken Brawlin’ Bristol

Klassy as fuck
For the first time ever, not including the other time a month ago, Sarah Palin finally speaks on the humiliating drunken #PalinBrawl, in which her drunk-and-barefoot klan of klassy kids who are klassy showed just how klassy they can be. And Sarah, poor dear, is humiliationated! Read more on Sarah Palin So Ashamed Of, ‘Humiliated By,’ Drunken Brawlin’ Bristol…
  Check Out The Government Teats On That Chick

GOP Senate Candidate Would Be Winning If Stupid Women Couldn’t Vote

And it's been all downhill since 1919
Sen. Cory Booker’s Republican opponent in the New Jersey race for U.S. Senate, Jeff Bell, has an excellent theory (which is his and was invented by him) about why he’s way, way behind Booker in the polls: It’s those darn women and their dumb dependence on the federal government. Way to go, Republican Outreach machine! Maybe the GOP will rebrand itself again. Read more on GOP Senate Candidate Would Be Winning If Stupid Women Couldn’t Vote…
  Very Serious Journamalism Meets Very Serious Talking Points

GOP Will Give Pregnant Ladies ‘Whatever It Is That We Can Offer’ Except For One Little Thing

Just trying to remember which talking point works here
In the never-ending quest to prove that every member of the Republican Party is dumber than he (or she, there are like half a dozen chicks too!) looks, Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus went on Meet The Press Sunday to really drive the message home again some more again some more. Read more on GOP Will Give Pregnant Ladies ‘Whatever It Is That We Can Offer’ Except For One Little Thing…
  oh dear kaili joy seems to be quite mad about a thing

Federal Court Saves Texas Women From Eternal Hellfire, Also Abortions

It's for your own good, ladies
Perhaps you are wondering what, exactly, is terrible and stupid and wrong about the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals’ decision to shut down pretty much all of Texas’s abortion clinics? Sit back, grab a slut pill, and let Kaili Joy madsplain you. Read more on Federal Court Saves Texas Women From Eternal Hellfire, Also Abortions…
  They're also FOR being against everything

Republicans Rebranding Again (Again), This Time As Party Of ‘Ideas’ LOL

They sure love us
Since it has been almost five whole minutes since the Republican Party tried again to rebrand itself again unsuccessfully again (turns out stock photos can’t vote; who knew?), there’s a new new super extra new plan to convince voters the Republican Party does not suck. We’re hoping it doesn’t fail until we at least finish writing about it. Read more on Republicans Rebranding Again (Again), This Time As Party Of ‘Ideas’ LOL…