* The decider has yet to make any decisions on the raising or lowering of troop numbers in Iraq. [WP, NYT]
* Democrats will allow freshmen to take ownership of individual ethics proposals for maximum benefit in their districts. [WP]
* Sorry, Charlie, no measures to reinstate the draft will be part of the “2007-2008 legislative agenda.” [WP]
* The Iraq study group that almost wasn’t. [WP]
* Hillary Clinton and the mystery of the disappearing $30 million in campaign funds is solved — $13 thousand for flowers, $2,500 for chili half-smokes at Ben’s, and some other stuff. [NYT]
* Antiwar groups are outwardly enraged, inwardly fulfilled by being spied on by antiterror programs. [NYT]
* “Now we got weapons of the chemical dust,” until 2023 when we finally get rid of that shit. [USAT]
* In race for Katherine Harris’s old seat, Republican Vern Buchanan is finally named winner, Democrat Christine Jennings is suing, and Katy is still crying. [NYT]

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The crafty Jew comedian Sasha Baron Cohen continues to derail the White House’s latest dirty dealings with the oil-rich dictatorship of Kazakhstan. Over at the Kazakh Embassy, they are losing their minds. This was not how Dictator Nursultan Nazarbayev wanted his Washington visit to be remembered.

Like Saudi Arabia after 9/11, Kazakhstan took the usual totalitarian-regime route and put a four-page advertisement in the NYT and IHT. We love these things and have often used such sovietesque PR to plan new lives abroad: Hmm, did you know Mumbalumbia has far-reaching leisure touristic possibility and historical culture of timeless contrast, not to mention world’s eighth largest coal mine? But most people are immune to the Kazakh Charm Offensive — because they’re too busy e-mailing the NYT’s funny article about Borat’s DC appearance yesterday, making that goofy story the Most E-Mailed of the Day.

Come with us on a magical tour of the Kazakh Steppe, after the jump.

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Delayed due to technical difficulties/epic hangover

• Terror detainee bill passes House, will “authorize the indefinite detention of non-citizens without access to courts - even if they are not charged with any crime.” [WP, NYT, LAT]

• Democrats could win 6 seats and take control of Senate, “if the stars continue to align.” [NYT]
• Jeb Bush talks smack about George Bush’s No Child Left Behind program, “not saying it’s bad, but needs to be better.” [NYT]
• Bush “chaperoned” dinner for passive-aggressive Presidents Pervez Musharraf and Hamid Karzai last night. [BBC, NYT, CNN]
• Kazakh president to be feted at White House state dinner Friday while accusations of rampant corruption, murder, and Borat obstructionism continue to hound him. [NYT, NYT]
• Full NIE dealing with Iraq will not be released. [CNN, W$J]
• Chelsea Clinton to host her dad’s 60th birthday party/fundraiser in New York. Guest list and activities humiliate the CakeLove cupcakes and six-pack you got. [WP]

• Under pressure, White House declassifies portions of the National Intelligence Estimate. [NYT, WP, LAT, USAT, W$J]

• What does it say? What does it mean? The big papers are handy with analysis. [NYT, WP, LAT]
• New campaign ads debuted yesterday, fueling “the most toxic midterm campaign environment in memory.” [NYT]
• Government rat and former Enron CFO Andrew Fastow sentenced to only 6 years. [WP]
• Senate Democrats propose bill to reimburse states for cost of using paper ballots in mid-term election. [NYT]
• Local woman who was the “first female graduate of West Point to die in Iraq” given a soldiers funeral yesterday. [WP]
• Jon Stewart serves President Musharraf a twinkie, hilarity ensues. [WP]

• Congressional hearings on terror detainees resemble a “partisan media event” as both parties use last week of session to look smart, busy. [NYT, WP]

• Warrantless spying bill clears one hurdle, others remain. [WP, LAT]
• Liquids and gels can go back on the planes, provided they’re in tiny bottles and scanned separately. [NYT, WP, USAT, W$J]
• British soldiers kill high-ranking Al-Qaeda member in Iraq, who had previously escaped from an American prison in Afghanistan. [NYT]
• Marlboro Lights ain’t no Diet Coke, Judge rules. [NYT]
• Home prices decline for first time in a decade, effect on overall economy unknown. [LAT]
• The big newspapers pick up story of George Allen and the n-bombs. [NYT, WP]

We have no idea what Bush and Blitzer were talking about in that CNN interview that ran Sunday. But this bit from the president gave us nightmares: “I like to tell people when the final history is written on Iran — Iraq — it will look like just a comma because there is — my point is, there’s a strong will for democracy, these people want a unity government, the unity government’s functioning.”

How about hitting the bong after the interview?

A look at the history books of the future, &* @! ~+ #%$ … we mean, “after the jump.”

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It’s hard to make any plans for getting out of Iraq — or any plans for anything, ever — when the freakin’ Department of Defense has no idea how many American troops are in Iraq:

The precise number of U.S. troops is murky. [General John] Abizaid today it was over 140,000. His staff later said it was closer to 142,000. Colonel Nelson McCouch, spokesman for [General George] Casey, said in an e-mail from Baghdad Sept. 17 that the current level is about 147,000.

How do you misplace 7,000 (presumably living) troops? Are they home in America? Did they go AWOL? Abducted by aliens? Don’t you people have a spreadsheet or something? MORE »

Much of the world is outraged over Pope Ratzi’s unkind remarks about all those evil Muslims and the resulting outrage from the Muslim World’s response, especially this cartoon, which shows Current Pope shooting doves while Ghost Pope sadly looks on, unable to do anything because he’s just a friendly ghost now:We would like to remind the world that in American politics, we don’t get all “up in arms” over these little things.

The path to salvation is after the jump.

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• Maverick McCain and his merry band of outlaws reject Bush’s, “alternative interrogation strategies” legislation, approve their own. [WP, NYT, LAT, USAT]

• Both houses of Congress shelve large ethics bills; do agree to write their name next to kickback payments, er, earmarks. [WP, NYT]
• Congressman Bob Ney will plead guilty to “Abramoff stuff,” but it’s not his fault — the booze made him do it. [WP, NYT]
• Judge in Saddam Hussein trial tells him, “You were not a dictator.” [CNN, LAT]
• World Bank releases list of countries not to visit on vacation this year. [WP]
• FDA goes against Popeye and your parents, issues warning about eating spinach. [WP]

Not really. But our favorite ’stan has vigorously denied our report that the Kazakhstan government has come crying like a little girl to the White House in hopes that Bush will order the assassination of comedian Sacha Baron Cohen — who plays the beloved Kazakh media star Borat. MORE »