Prosperity, Education and Beat Generation All Return With New GI Bill
Monday, August 3rd, 2009
It was “only” 65 years ago when America seemed to be on the upswing, in large part because millions of World War II veterans got a paid college education and no-down low-interest mortgages. Less than five years after the formal end of the Great Depression, higher education and a modern home became reality for the very people who were starving and illiterate in the grim 1930s. And now, no thanks to “Country First” fraudster John McCain, a wonderful new GI Bill was welcomed today by draft-dodging Kenyan bounty hunter Barack Obama. America now has hope that the post-9/11 veteran will end up smart, comfortable and happy … and not some redneck racist wingnut terrorist mass-murderer like Timothy McVeigh. MORE »
During his tenure in office, George Bush created more than a housing bubble: he also fostered an “employment bubble” for high-functioning idiots, who were awarded fancy jobs in his administration and have since departed in shame and ignominy. Exhibit A: the hapless cretin, unemployed loser, and only Bush administration toady not to get a zillion dollars for his tell-all autobiography, Alberto Gonzales. 
The FBI has successfully broken up yet another fiendish terrorist plot on American soil. These brave defenders of freedom have once again ensured that Americans can rest easy, safe from the threat of a couple guys buying some guns and trying to… take over an Army base??? 
Holy balls! Apparently, while Wayne Madsen was watching his BFF Mike Gravel put Dennis Kucinich’s baton in someone’s snatch (and while we were watching 30 Rock), John Edwards found a way to boldly differentiate himself from some of his Dem-nom-seeking colleagues. Fuck being “one signature away from winning the Iraq War!” Edwards upped the ante by laying down some crazy, Jedi-mind trick-a-doo by simply REFUSING TO BELIEVE THE WAR ON TERROR IS HAPPENING! Suck on that, causality! How could we possible LOSE something that never occurs to us! 
The advisers in charge of Iraq policy for John Edwards, Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama have lunch meetings each month at a mysterious “Washington restaraunt” to trade withdrawal plans and fine-tune their terms of surrender, 
Kalid Shaikh Mohammed was captured by the US in 2003, tortured by the CIA in a secret prison for a while, then shipped to Guantamo to stand lawyerless before a military tribunal that would determine if he was fit to stand before another military tribunal.
A diplomatic source serving in Iraq’s Red Zone (you know, the scary bit) sent us this latest outrage from the War on Terror. Americans working throughout Iraq get periodic emails updating them on the situation in Baghdad’s (slightly cushier) Green Zone. “Usually,” says our Op, “the Baghdad e-mails are about which pools or bars are closed or where salsa night is being held.” Today’s, though, was different: 