Wonkette

Entire “war on terror” actually consists of a few dozen wingnut bloggers of the Christian & Mahometan persuasions threatening each other over the internets. [Blue Ridge Now]

The FBI has successfully broken up yet another fiendish terrorist plot on American soil. These brave defenders of freedom have once again ensured that Americans can rest easy, safe from the threat of a couple guys buying some guns and trying to… take over an Army base??? MORE »

Holy balls! Apparently, while Wayne Madsen was watching his BFF Mike Gravel put Dennis Kucinich’s baton in someone’s snatch (and while we were watching 30 Rock), John Edwards found a way to boldly differentiate himself from some of his Dem-nom-seeking colleagues. Fuck being “one signature away from winning the Iraq War!” Edwards upped the ante by laying down some crazy, Jedi-mind trick-a-doo by simply REFUSING TO BELIEVE THE WAR ON TERROR IS HAPPENING! Suck on that, causality! How could we possible LOSE something that never occurs to us! MORE »

The advisers in charge of Iraq policy for John Edwards, Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama have lunch meetings each month at a mysterious “Washington restaraunt” to trade withdrawal plans and fine-tune their terms of surrender, according to the New York Observer. MORE »

Kalid Shaikh Mohammed was captured by the US in 2003, tortured by the CIA in a secret prison for a while, then shipped to Guantamo to stand lawyerless before a military tribunal that would determine if he was fit to stand before another military tribunal.

So we’re not entirely sure if we buy that he’s responsible for all 31 plots he mentioned (helpfully listed here by the New York Times).

Our expurgated list, after the jump.

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A diplomatic source serving in Iraq’s Red Zone (you know, the scary bit) sent us this latest outrage from the War on Terror. Americans working throughout Iraq get periodic emails updating them on the situation in Baghdad’s (slightly cushier) Green Zone. “Usually,” says our Op, “the Baghdad e-mails are about which pools or bars are closed or where salsa night is being held.” Today’s, though, was different: MORE »

“DRUDGE SEASON GREETINGS FROM MIDEAST… THANKS FOR A GREAT YEAR!!” he crows on top of the usual “article about inflation illustrated with giant snowman photo” fare. No, we don’t know what any of this means either. MORE »

* The decider has yet to make any decisions on the raising or lowering of troop numbers in Iraq. [WP, NYT]
* Democrats will allow freshmen to take ownership of individual ethics proposals for maximum benefit in their districts. [WP]
* Sorry, Charlie, no measures to reinstate the draft will be part of the “2007-2008 legislative agenda.” [WP]
* The Iraq study group that almost wasn’t. [WP]
* Hillary Clinton and the mystery of the disappearing $30 million in campaign funds is solved — $13 thousand for flowers, $2,500 for chili half-smokes at Ben’s, and some other stuff. [NYT]
* Antiwar groups are outwardly enraged, inwardly fulfilled by being spied on by antiterror programs. [NYT]
* “Now we got weapons of the chemical dust,” until 2023 when we finally get rid of that shit. [USAT]
* In race for Katherine Harris’s old seat, Republican Vern Buchanan is finally named winner, Democrat Christine Jennings is suing, and Katy is still crying. [NYT]