war on terror
Either we are doing a TERRIFIC job keeping those terrorists away, ha ha, OR we are not spending nearly enough money on the real threats in this country. It sounds like maybe it is the latter, because people are just dropping dead everywhere, from things like “dog bites,” instead of at the hands of evil [...]
Excess skin collection bucket Mike Huckabee has been having a ball ever since he discovered how devastatingly cheaply Taiwanese animators are able to computer visualize his conservative evangelical sex fantasies. His library of cartoon videos is so far is mostly fantasia flavors of “Reagan + Jesus kill black muggers and Nazis,” which are all pretty [...]
The BBC — Queen Elizabeth’s personal version of the Huffington Post — has a hawt new video interview (after a Priceline commercial?) with U.S. attorney general Eric Holder regarding this whole “assassination of Bin Laden” thing. Eric Holder says it definitely was not an assassination because Osama bin Laden was not the U.S. president at [...]
The past few days, the media have engorged themselves on a litany of little details about Osama bin Laden’s living conditions at the time of his death. But today, they’ve seen to hit a wall. Look, government officials, it’s not like they’re going to look into the veracity of whatever you give them, just throw [...]
In the midst of all the celebrations that good finally defeated evil yesterday, there is this fact: the U.S. got the leads that allowed it to find and kill Osama bin Laden from two men: Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and Al Qaeda “operations chief” Abu Faraj al-Libi. These men have been kept in secret CIA prisons [...]
You may be aware by now that Michelle Obama is really interested in killing fat people with vegetables, faking Twitter pregnancies, and being Chinese. But did you also know that she is deeply concerned about the troops? Apparently, this obesity thing has gotten so far out of hand that there is almost no one left [...]
Praise Geezus, TLC found another meth-fueled megalomaniac desperate for reality teevee fame: Ted Haggard! America’s most favorite megachurch megahypocrite will star in his very own teevee special, “Ted Haggard’s Alaska,” which will feature scenes of Ted Haggard preaching to hobos at his new barn church in Colorado Springs. Yes, Haggard is back, and he’s spreadin’ [...]
For most Americans, “staying in shape” is the involuntary act that occurs when the escalator breaks down at the shopping mall and everyone is forced to walk an extra fifty feet to the elevator, and an afternoon is ruined. But for fancy FLOTUS Queen Michelle Antoinette Obama, every day is a new excuse to put [...]
Look, the War on Terror’s “funniest” recurring joke… recurred! This particular Al Qaeda #3 got nabbed in the ass by one of Obama’s science-fiction robo-death birds, what a loser. Isn’t it just terrible that this recurring joke is still recurring five years after it was coined as a recurring joke by freaking Slate Internet magazine? [...]
Doctor Senator Rand Paul is America’s greatest case of nepotism and whoreishness. Not only is he much meaner than his kindly old radical father, the deity Ron, but on the foreign policy side, there aren’t very many (and will probably be ZERO by the time this campaign ends) similarities to his father’s minimalist war & [...]
Ha ha ha, don’t know how we missed this earlier in the week, but a thriller novelist named Brad Thor has been publishing major major national security Scoops at Andrew Breitbart’s Big Government joke blog: “Late this afternoon Lt. Colonel Oliver North confirmed that Taliban leader and Osama bin Laden ally, Mullah Mohammed Omar has [...]
