Tag: war on terror

Damn. There goes the Fox Brain Trust.

Fox News Boots Potty-Mouthed Pundits, Will Only Use Family Friendly Hate Speech

Nervous Fox News viewers can now rest easy. After Barack Obama's terrorism speech drove two regular commentators to use uncouth gutter language on air, the House Of Murdoch has suspended the malefactors for two weeks. Thank heavens! Fox is...

Fox News Very Sorry You Can’t Call President Obama ‘A Pussy’ On TV

After impatiently demanding, 29 hours a day, that the president nut up and call the shootings in San Bernardino last week TERRORISM, Fox News's ew nasty nighttime ejaculations came true. So did Obama's Sunday night address from the Oval Office...
Actual wall will be built even more bigly

Donald Trump Has Exciting New Real Estate Opportunity For You, Syria!

What a time to be a Syrian, eh? Murderous clowns to the left of you, racist jokers to the right. And then there's Donald J. Trump, with a once-in-a-lifetime business opportunity you will not want to miss: Mr. Trump said he would...

Republicans So Awful, Obama Wishes They’d Be More Like Bush

Here is your foreign secret Muslim "president" Barry HUSSEIN Soetoro O'Bama, saying some sounds about how "refugees" are not the same thing as "terrorists." As if! That's exactly what he would say, isn't it? If he didn't really love America and want to keep...
Just wake me up when the planet's destroyed.

Barack Obama Won’t Say Magic Words ‘Radical Islamic Terror,’ Must Resign

The post-massacre consensus is in: Paris would be safe today if Barack Obama had the balls to say the magic words "Radical Islamic Terrorism." Or maybe it's that we can't actually win until he says them. Or until we...
Keep the lights on

Read These Unterrible Things About Paris If You Want To Feel Better (And Live)

Earlier today, we brought you some of the inevitable political awfulness that hit the interwebs after the Paris attacks. We're Yr Wonkette; political awfulness is our stock in trade. But we also wanted to call your attention to a...

President Obama: Afghanistan War Going So Great, Let’s Never Leave!

Remember how President Obama was going to pull all of our troops out of Afghanistan by the end of 2016, and then we would finally be done Never Forgetting 9/11 by bombing the crap out of Afghans? And, oh yeah, sometimes...

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Oh No, The Witches Have Cursed Donald Trump!

Well be with you, readers, and welcome once again to the Snake Oil Bulletin! On today's bulletin, we take a look at the hardest working political action committee in America: The Witches! It seems election fever has gripped even our...
myfriends, my friends, my friends..FIVE AND A HLAF YEARS, ALAN!

Wingnut Heroes To Arrest John McCain For Doing Bad Things

A rightwing radio talker has announced what's sure to be a turning point in the movement to restore constitutional something-or-other to the taking-back of America, and also the freedom and such as, for our once-great nation, hooray! Calling the...
How a normal network might report the story

Fox News Knows Obama Personally Ordered Terrorist To Ride That French Train

There's an awful lot to be happy about in the story of the three vacationing Americans, a British executive, and a French passenger who overpowered a would-be terrorist on a high-speed train Friday. Nobody got killed, and even the two...
Guess they forgot :(

America-Hating Appellate Court Says NSA Can’t Read All Your Sexts To Fight Terrorism After All

You've probably forgotten by now that time some terrorists damn near destroyed America with boxcutters, and we had to rewrite the Constitution to save the Constitution, so the terrorists would not win. So Congress passed a law that says...

CIA Learned Hottest Torture Tricks From American Psychological Association

From the shores of the Pacific to the Singing Statesmen of DC, the "War On Terror" really brought out the best in us, didn’t it? Now we can add the American Psychological Association (APA) to the list of willingly...
At the McClean (Virginia) of Madness

Journey Into Madness: Playboy Interviews Dick Cheney

The weak light of my sputtering candle guided my descent down the stone steps. In the glow I could read the ancient runes carved in the walls, but of the ancient terrors inscribed there I must not speak.  At...
Any story combining 'Trump' and 'intelligence' makes us nervous

CIA Lady Was Worst Spy Ever, Got Promoted To King Of Torture

Just when we'd thought we'd heard all the worst from the Senate's report on the CIA's torture program, along comes even more. Not only did the CIA do some pretty horrific stuff that violated the law without gaining any...
"We shall see that at which dogs howl in the dark, and that at which cats prick up their ears after midnight."

New York Times Calls For Extradition Of Dick Cheney To Any Planet With A Justice System

The New York Times editorial board ran an editorial Monday calling for the prosecution of those who ran the CIA's torture program, proving that they are a bunch of hopeless romantics who believe in justice. They aren't especially hopeful,...
Dick Cheney auditions for a reboot of "Little Nicky."

Dick Cheney Tortures Us By Making Us Look At More Of George Bush’s Paintings Or Something

Sunday was a good day for the bookers on a couple of those political chat shows where Washington’s power brokers yap at each other in brazen displays of verbal hand jobbery. It’s not every week that the president and...