war on christmas
Arizona Gun Nuts Pose Children With Assault Rifles and Santa
Have you somehow forgotten about Arizona these past few days? Let’s remember it all over again, for the holidays! Nothing says “mythology of the peaceful savior Jesus” like an Arizona gun club hosting a Guns ‘n Santa family foto event. “I thinks it’s going to be all in fun from those who support the second [...]
Merry Xmas, America! (Don’t Eat the Poison Gingerbread Houses)
Christmas Day is over, pretty much! It’s all down to the weeping and drunken fighting with what’s her name, your relative probably, and the kids freaking out over their broken shoddy toys and the crippling mudslide/snowstorm that will prevent you from ever getting home (which was foreclosed, anyway). Also, the Gingerbread Houses are filled with [...]
Texas Christians Execute Santa Claus (Video!)
Oh look, some fucktard wingnuts in Texas somewhere made a video of themselves “executing Santa Claus,” you know, because Baby Jesus hates Santa Claus. Why does Baby Jesus hate a Christian saint? Because Baby Jesus isn’t Catholic anymore, come on, don’t you know anything about American Christmas? Anyway watch these mouth-breathing obese poop-sacks play with [...]
Your Weather: America Prepares, 2010
From coast to coast, America is getting plenty of winter weather — and just in time for winter, too. Weather predicting people say these trends may continue all the way to Christmas. Whether this is a “good thing” or a “bad thing” depends very much on your planned activities for the holidays. For instance, those [...]
Tonight’s Lunar Eclipse/Winter Solstice: What You Need To Know
Tonight will be very exciting for the fancy elitists in our country who can locate the night sky: For the first time in four centuries, a total lunar eclipse will also mark the Winter Solstice. Also, it’s a Full Moon! And there’s a meteor shower tonight, too! This combination of science and paganism is exactly [...]
Your Wonkette Guide To the War On Christmas
Christ-killers and Menorah fetishists, ACLU fascists and Kwanzaa-celebrating racists, liberals and Nazis, gather ’round the Christmas fire! Normally at Christmastime, your reviewer would want to read aloud some classics of the season, but this year we must focus on what’s truly important and enduring: books by furious wingnuts that denounce the damnable War on Christmas. [...]
An American Holiday Classic: Bye Bye, Baby Jesus
This is not actually a Holiday Classic, but because nothing on the Internet can be trusted, that’s the title we’re giving to this old thing we found, which was written by your editor back when he was toiling for UPI at the shabby headquarters behind the White House, back when Bill Clinton was still officially [...]
Why Does Europe Hate American Freedom Christ?
Most Americans correctly believe that the Christ-child was born 400 years ago in a shitty barn behind Jethro’s Dogfight Shack in Arkansatucky, Missibama. Lo, betwixt her mighty labor pains, his unwed 14-year-old mother (who was just a little bit older than the average first-time mama in today’s South) said to her 20-year-old pervert fiance, “Um, [...]
Kagan Hates Jesus As Well As Mormon Vampires
The video after the jump is from yesterday, but, eh, nobody here was live-blogging it, so you chumps probably haven’t heard about it, so we could tell you it was from today and you’d never know! Anyway, watch an exquisitely bored Lindsey Graham ask Elena Kagan “where [she] was at on Christmas Day,” then watch [...]
Christmas Films and Christmas Theater: Christmas is Everywhere!
Saturday, December 12 through Sunday, December 13: Dance as if you just got rejected and are stuck to the floor because there’s beer all over it. That’s what the Jane Franklin Dance company will be doing in their show The Floor is Sticky, which combines poetry, spoken word and theater. Modern dance is fascinating.
War On Christmas Targets Tennessee
The sheeple will believe anything: “The Christmas tree at the [Tennessee] state Capitol will be replaced after being toppled by high winds overnight. The blue spruce, which had stood on Charlotte Avenue between the Capitol and Legislative Plaza, fell sometime before 4 a.m., snapping off the top, said Kenny Crowson, facilities supervisor at the Capitol.” [...]
A Brutal, Bloody Image From The War On Christmas
Fast-track that resolution, Boner! A Hill operative sends us this photo and writes, “The War on Christmas is alive and well in the House of Representatives. This Christmas tree was seen discarded on the 2nd floor of the Longworth House Office Building.” Oh that’s no Christmas tree, just an aborted tree fetus. But why is [...]
Boehner Introduces GOP’s Annual ‘Recognizing Christmas’ Constituent Porn
Vulgar leather smoking jacket John Boehner does not believe in Congress WASTING ITS TIME on meaningless resolutions, and so it makes sense that he has now introduced the most meaningful House Resolution of the current Congress: H.R. 951, the resolution to save Christmas from the Jews, Atheists, Aliens, and other Democrats and Nobamas.
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