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Posts Tagged “War On Christmas”

condi roundup

Condi 'n' Kozy Sitting in a Tree

Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™!

Last week started off exciting with an OMG SURPRISE trip to Iraq and a luv connection with Sarkozy. But then along came the Grinch who stole the week before Xmas, John Bolton! Ew! All this and Black Leather Condi Glove Turkeys after the jump! More »

11:55 AM on Mon Dec 24 2007
By phuestis
1,508 views, 5 comments

war on christmas

Ron Paul Issues a Merry "Fuck You" to Mike Huckabee


Ron Paul appeared on today’s edition of teevee shitparade Fox & Friends. In this 25 seconds or so Paul managed to speak before a commercial break, he found a window to call Mike Huckabee a fascist. Paul, responding to a question about the not-so-subliminal cross in Huckabee’s new Christmas ad, said it reminded him of a Sinclair Lewis quote: “When fascism comes to this country, it will be wrapped in a flag carrying a cross.” Indeed, 2001 was a bad year.

1:20 PM on Tue Dec 18 2007
By Newell
15,021 views, 72 comments

Latest by Patun: So let me get the views strait about RP... He wants to end the income tax but wants to help the middle class with tax credits. How do you get credits from 0 dollars owed? (yes this is something that more »

war on christmas

Santa, Jesus Killing Themselves


The National Republican Senatorial Committee (NRSC) is trying to get more support for next year’s elections with this play on that famous song, “Twelve Days of Christmas,” or whatever it’s called. Go ahead and watch. We’ll wait. [Pause]. OK SORRY! We knew it was bad and we made you watch anyway. Again, sorry. But yeah, still, basic point: The Republicans are going to lose everything next year by like 20 million points. [YouTube]

12:21 PM on Wed Dec 12 2007
By Newell
23,205 views, 83 comments

Latest by vitaminC: yeah, loved the Wilson-Phillips cameo (day #5)--and they hid her in the back, just like in their old music videos! more »

war on christmas

HR 847 To Save Santy Claus

Today, Congress is earning its keep exactly as the Founding Fathers intended: by saying Christmas is kinduva big deal. Iowa congressman Steve King — famous for hating poor, sick children — is introducing House Resolution 847, which officially will recognize “the importance of Christmas and the Christian faith.” Take that, teh Iraqz and health care crises of the world! Full text of the resolution, after the jump. More »

11:03 AM on Tue Dec 11 2007
By Newell
2,959 views, 69 comments

tough call

Surgeon General: Santa's Too Fat

Acting U.S. Surgeon General Rear Adm. Steven K. Galson has launched the Administration’s first attack in this year’s War on Christmas. The ASG declared that Santa is too heavy to be a good role model, telling the Boston Herald, “It is really important that the people who kids look up to as role models are in good shape, eating well and getting exercise… Santa is no different.” The ASG’s comment comes in the wake of Australia’s war on “hohoho” and made one of us crave, um, cookies. We ask for your opinion, after the jump. More »

7:02 PM on Fri Nov 30 2007
By megancarpentier
3,267 views, 32 comments

Latest by theblackdog: @Gnaeus: Except for the part that Jesus is just a baby...sicko. more »

demrats

Damn Demrats And Their "Liberal" Desire to "Change"

While not quite as disastrous as Bill Kristol’s suicide bomb of a WaPo Outlook feature, Fox News’ John “War on Christmas” Gibson has these words for us this morning: “I know you don’t want to hear about Iraq, but I’m going to tell you anyway.” Damn him! Must keep reading… despite… hatred… More »

11:16 AM on Fri Nov 9 2007
By Newell
3,033 views, 73 comments

war on christmas

Save Jesus' Birthday with Bumper Stickers

Conservative thingy WorldNetDaily.com is launching the anti-War on Christmas extra early this year, lest “the American Civil Liberties Union grinches” kidnap and neuter Santa Claus while his minions aren’t watching. Its website hosts an exclusive store for atheist-repelling paraphernalia. Among the items are a magnetic bumper sticker, a magnetic bumper sticker, an “auto magnet,” a magnetic bumper sticker, a Jesus bracelet and a magnetic bumper sticker. Those are all of the items, in fact, but inflatable green-and-red Bill O’Reilly fuckdolls should be available November 1. Because if they aren’t, Jesus will be retroactively unborn.

Christmas-defense kit [WorldNetDaily]

6:00 PM on Wed Oct 24 2007
By Newell
2,448 views, 39 comments

Latest by weazel: Those magnetic Reason for the Season bumper magnets won't stick the aluminum of my Prius or the carbon fiber of my Muricieglo. Do I have to get my GTO out of dead storage? I wanted to wait until it had more »

walnuts

Tim Pawlenty Really Loves Being Governor

Christmas-hating Minnesota Governor Tim Governor Pawlenty may be angling for the veep slot under Dictator-President John WALNUTS! McCain, but that doesn’t mean he’ll forget his time as Jesse Ventura’s successor. More »

2:16 PM on Mon Jan 15 2007
By KLayne
204 views, 6 comments

michelle malkin

A Very Special Malkin War On Christmas

(UPDATE: Humorless sack of shit and local blogger Michael Fumento apparently has a law degree and wants to try it out on Wonkette because we posted his stupid fucking picture of Michelle Malkin dressed up like an Arab Killer. So we will take it down and post this picture of Fumento we found on some blog.) More »

6:47 PM on Fri Jan 5 2007
By KLayne
621 views, 47 comments

war on christmas

Bush Family Xmas Presents Can't Possibly Be This Innocent

Before going to their Texas estate so they could ignore Gerald Ford’s funeral, the First Family (or at least George and Laura) celebrated Xmas at Camp David. Oh boy, what did they give as presents? More »

3:27 AM on Fri Dec 29 2006
By KLayne
551 views, 33 comments

war on christmas

First, They Came For Our Inert Grenades

This Holiday season, the United States Postal Service shit all over American Christians. Apparently, we’re not allowed to mail grenades to Canada anymore. More »

4:41 PM on Tue Dec 26 2006
By Pareene
173 views, 1 comment

boxing day

The War on Boxing Day!

Godless liberals have declared war on Boxing Day, the beloved post-Christmas hangover celebrated in the UK and all the colonies that were too lazy to take up arms against them. In Canada, Boxing Day is a day of charity… and great savings! Stores across the frozen north open their doors and slash their prices, and everyone in Canada briefly forgets the unceasing misery of their gray, bland lives. More »

3:16 PM on Tue Dec 26 2006
By Pareene
357 views, 9 comments

pandas

Down With Butterstick: Japanese Panda Has Twins

Now we’re officially scraping the bottom of the holiday news barrel, because we’re going to invoke that goddamned National Zoo baby panda we hate so much, Sun Myung Moon or whatever it’s called. More »

1:37 PM on Tue Dec 26 2006
By KLayne
354 views, 12 comments

reverend sun myung moon

Forget Baby Jesus & Worship This Rev. Moon Video!

On the off chance anybody is working in DC today, here’s something to do that’s more work-safe than cruising Casual Encounters: an hourlong video about Washington’s Favorite Newspaper Publisher and King of the Universe, the Reverend Sun Myung Moon! More »

10:51 AM on Tue Dec 26 2006
By KLayne
383 views, 5 comments

rumors on the internets

Rumors On The Internets: You're An Old Slut On Junk

  • Walnuts McCain promised to kill himself if the GOP lost in November; he’s sadly still alive [The Right’s Field]
  • Just kidding about the Draft! But even though we’ll never have a Draft, we’re just going to make sure everything’s in place for the Draft. [Prison Planet, Cryptogon]
  • Fuck you and your cause, hippie — I’m trying to enjoy the War On Christmas! [The Divine Invasion]
  • White Christmas expected in Australia … where’s it’s summer. Suck it, Gore! [Tim Blair]
  • The Daily Show hates on Republicans 98% of the time & Democrats 96% of the time. Suck it, Bush! [Reason Hit & Run]
  • Japan captures, kills Giant Squid. [Reuters Video]
  • Christian church holds Winter Solstice ceremony, Jesus weeps. [Witch Vox]

4:31 PM on Fri Dec 22 2006
By KLayne
245 views, 12 comments

Latest by Throgmorton Dustbin: So Screwloose McCain said last October that he thought he would kill himself if Republicans lost the election. Note how he covered his ass: He 'thought' he would kill himself. Everybody knows he doesn't think, maybe even can't think. more »

kramer

Wisconsin Guv's War On Festivus

Governor Jim Doyle doesn’t love Festivus this year. While Wisconsin’s governor used to love the holiday so much that he distributed a picture of himself standing by the Festivus Pole, the racist antics of one-time Seinfeld star what’s-his-name, Kramer, has spoiled the joyful season. More »

3:51 PM on Fri Dec 22 2006
By KLayne
191 views, 3 comments

crazies

Congressman Demands Iraqis Be Converted To Christianity

New Hampshire’s North Carolina’s 8th District congressman has a winning plan for Iraq: Convert all the Muslims to Christianity! In the past, only a few brave public intellectuals such as Ann Coulter have offered this only obvious solution to our 3-1/2 year bloodbath occupation of Iraq, so it is a proud moment for America that Rep. Robin Hayes is the first politician to deal seriously with our disastrous war. More »

2:27 PM on Fri Dec 22 2006
By KLayne
412 views, 32 comments

cartoon violence

Cartoon Violence's War On Christmas

Each week, the Comics Curmudgeon helps explain Today’s Cartoons. More »