war on christmas
Wisconsin Pol: Why Do We Care About Kwanzaa When It Wasn’t Even on The Cosby Show?
Do you yearn for a time when the day after Christmas was all about throwing your useless wrapping paper into the man-made canal behind your house, instead of marking the beginning of the white, leftist holiday of Kwanzaa with a ceremonial dangling of the American flag inches above a lit Kinara? Wisconsin State Senator Glenn [...]
Wingnuts Furious At Jews, Jon Stewart, For Killing Christmas, Doing Newtown Massacre
Excuse me, Jews, but how have you killed Christ/Christmas/little first graders today? Let us start with Burt Prelutsky, who apparently has written for the Timeses New York and Los Angeles, and yet now, sadly, is stuck writing about his fellow Jewishes killing Christmas in his marvelous journey “The Jewish Grinch Who Stole Christmas,” at WND.
O’Reilly Launches Next Volley In War On Christmas: Christianity Not Religion
Good morning, Warrers On Christmas. Much has happened since our last intelligence briefing. Last night, Dessert Fox Bill O’Reilly released another video of propaganda from his bunker in the Fortress of Falafel. He did that thing where he invites an opposing viewpoint onto his show, then kicks the shit out of him. From Raw Story: [...]
A Declaration Of War On Christmas
For real-time information about the #WarOnChristmas, refer to the Wonkette war Twitter. The time has arrived, as it does every year, for America to be besieged by that familiar and insidious enemy: Christmas. We have endured its tyranny for 2,000 years, with its manger scenes, its mint-flavored everything, its bearded occupation of J.C. Penny locations [...]
Fringe Catholic Nut-Job Says Michelle Obama Got Hillary’s Christmas Tree Decoration Crack Pipes
What is it with these Democratic First Ladies? First Hillary Clinton put dildoes and crack pipes all over the White House Holiday Bush, and now Michelle Obama is decorating her Holiday Bush with pictures of drag queens and Mao Tse Tung! What is next? Jars with rapebortions in them? PROBABLY. From the fever dreams of [...]
Michele Bachmann Leaves ‘Gay Marcus’ Out of Family Xmas Video
Oh look, Michele Bachmann doesn’t even know the names of the random “children” she assembled to make this dumb Christmas video to remind everyone that her gay husband Marcus is so gay that he’s not even allowed in the family Christmas video. “Don’t forget the reason for the season,” sez Michele … which is marginalizing [...]
Homophobic Anti-Robot Bachmann Thugs Bully Gay Iowa Robot
It was another day of thuggery on the Iowa campaign trail as Michele Bachmann’s remaining followers mercilessly booed and taunted a sad gay robot. The pudgy homosexual android just wanted to make a case for itself, but the slob wingnuts just chanted BOOOOO because that’s how they “cure homosexuality.” Speaking of pudgy gay robots, has [...]
‘Twas the Night Before Iowa … (A Visit From St. Reagan)
‘Twas the night before Iowa, when all through the state, The wingnuts were fuming, their heads fat with hate. The caucus was planned, in just over a week, Yet the GOP candidates were unelectable freaks! The reporters were nestled in bedbug motels. Their noses recoiling from strange Iowa smells, Of corn syrup fields, and thick [...]
Happy Winter Solstice, Third Night of Hanukkah, Etc.!
We have failed to provide the usual amount of tangential holiday nonsense this week, and for that we Truly Apologize, sort of. Here’s a quick post to wish you all a very happy third “magic olive oil” night of Hanukkah, plus a very merry “death of the sun” Winter Solstice Night. Here are a few [...]
World Eagerly Awaits Christmas Miracle of Dick Cheney’s Death
We don’t believe in an interventionist god, so today’s cheery eyewitness report of Dick Cheney being “enfeebled” at a death-war military contractor’s holiday cocktail ritual does not make us believe we’re all going to have a very merry Christmas. We must remember that Dick Cheney has been legally dead about a hundred times, and he [...]
War On Christmas Started By Hitler, Because of Advent Calendars
Every year about this time, the nation opens the “advent calendars” of its secret CIA prisons all over the world to say “hi” to the people always plotting against us by waging a War on Christmas. But did you know that the War On Christmas did not start in CIA murder-torture prisons, but actually in [...]
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