In the name of Her Majesty and the Continental Congress! According to some sort of ‘Save Glenn Beck’ online petition, Americans overwhelmingly chose WALMART as the symbol of our great Union! Other popular symbols that didn’t make the cut: a bald eagle clenching a Kenyan birth certificate with its razor-sharp talons, LYNNDIE ENGLAND pointing at at pyramid of naked LOLCATS, and the piano box casket … MORE »

• Check out the latest hot erotica, Townhalls Gone Wild. Have your FEMA debit card ready! [DailyKos]
• R.I.P., Rupert Murdoch. We hardly knew ye. [Market Watch/Something Awful]
• The doorbell rings. Who could that be? you say to yourself. Oh, it’s a little Girl Scout, selling cookies. “Get lost kid. Already bought 10 boxes of them Thin Mints, from Walmart. And they were hella cheap too, because Walmart isn’t unionized.” The little girl starts to cry. Typical union guilt-trip trickery, you think to yourself. [Jeffrey Goldberg]
• “One could say that the way Obama was able to convince people that he really didn’t adhere to his own previously stated positions is much closer to the example of Adolph Hitler and Mein Kampf than it is to any part of the The Joker’s history.” Uh. We read RedState so you don’t have to. [RedState]
• In a shrewd political maneuver, Rep. Roy Blunt (R-MO) points out that he has a birth certificate, thus distancing himself from Barack Obama, forever. [TPM]

Those of you that missed last night’s Democratic debate in Myrtle Beach missed the greatest debate in American history (read: six minutes of it was not entirely awful). They started talking about such boring things as the economy, and how jobs are neat yet poor humans don’t have them, then they started fighting. Here’s the first clip, where Barry defends his crush on Reagan and Hillary gets Rowr-y and Bill becomes president and Spartacus leads a slave rebellion and everyone talks over each other. Also-ran John Edwards was present at the debate last night as well.