Tag: wall street journal

GOP Losers Suck So Hard They’ve All Been Demoted To Kids’ Table Debate

Thanks to some weirdass combination of math and poll-skewing, Fox Business Network (Motto: "Just As Loathsome But With Lower Ratings") announced some major shakeups in the lineup for the next Republican debates. Yes, the seating arrangement for the clown...
They call themselves His People. Weird.

Here Are 9 Wingnut Reasons For Charleston Murders That Aren’t Spelled R-A-C-I-S-M

Dylann Storm Roof killed black people because he wanted to kill black people. Roof admitted this! But maybe it's not about race. Let's take another trip down Wingnut River to see why Roof's nine victims -- Rev. Clementa Pinckney, Tywanza...
Thank goodness racism is over

Alabama Cops Suspended Just For Being In Neo-Confederate Hate Group. How Is That Fair? (UPDATED)

Oh, look, it's more Not Racial Transcendence, in a story that might have been huge if it hadn't been overshadowed by Wednesday's massacre in Charleston. Two cops in Anniston, Alabama, have been suspended after being outed as members...
New Combustible Water: It's Antibacterial!

Good News! EPA Says Drinking Water Mostly Free Of Dirty Fracking Sludge

This story sponsored by a grant from the Patty Dumpling Fund for coverage of oil spills, fracking, and eew don't drink that fracking fluid you don't know what's in it! Terrific news, corporate America! As the Wall Street Journal giddily...
Now she's going to strong-arm girls into learning? IMPEACH!

Oh Great, Now Michelle Obama Wants To Force Girls To Learn Stuff

Will the assault on freedom never end? Unsatisfied with oppressing our children -- of whom someone should please think -- with vegetables and gardening and 10 seconds of exercise every other month, Michelle Obama is now launching an assault on girl...
D'Asshole

Convicted Felon Dinesh D’Souza Calls Obama ‘Ghetto.’ From Jail.

So there is this guy, Dinesh D'Souza, and he is a wingnut "writer" and "filmmaker" and philanderer and felon. And while he is sitting in his pretend prison halfway house for wayward wingnut felons -- instead of being locked...
They don't make butlers like Carson anymore.

Rich People Tired Of Living In Giant Mansions, Long For Merely Huge Mansions

Claudio Stivelman is a real estate developer whose corporate biography modestly alludes to his "prophetic vision to invest along the Northern coast of Miami-Dade County." He got stupid-rich and built himself an "11,000-square-foot dream house," only to find that...

How Is Bowe Bergdahl Failing To Be A Taliban Sympathizer Today?

Hey, America, remember how the entire rightwing media howler monkey brigade was telling us that not only did Bowe Bergdahl desert his post, he also willingly joined the Taliban and taught them how to build bombs after he was...

Dana Perino Begs Meteorologists Everywhere To Be As Dumb As Fox News, Yell About Benghazi

We all know that Fox News is nothing but faux-outrage over Benghazi -- excuse us, BENGHAZI!111!!! -- 24/7, but their certainty that everyone else is just as pretend-mad is one of the weirdest parts of their obsession. Today, cap-sleeve-wearing...

Wall Street Journal: Obamacare Raised Incomes In January, So That Is Probably Bad Somehow

Would it be safe to characterize the Wall Street Journal as something other than a bastion of liberal rhetoric? We think that is probably a safe call, right? (Especially since it was made by Yr Editrix in the chatcave.)...

Peggy Noonan Despairs That Elites Are Simply Too Decadent These Days

Crack! That blasted girl, that wench, had shattered her final highball glass as Peggy Noonan's scullery maid. But Dame Noonan had not the spirit to dismiss her on this eve, so instead she conjured a weighty silence, an invisible pall...

How To Stop Being Such A Dumb Slut And Get Your Hooks Into A Man, By A Lady (And The Duggars)

Since it's been at least four seconds since some dimwitted dimwit offered us single ladies some unsolicited advice on how to not be single ladies and why it's all our fault and how we are TERRIBLE THE WORST...

WSJ Columnist Wants Drunk Ladies To Stop Raping All Those Men

We don't check in over at the Wall Street Journal's opinion page all that often because of the paywall and also, too, because it is the Wall Street Journal, but we really couldn't resist reading James Taranto's latest bit...

Wall Street Journal Loves Poor People So Much It Wants To Make More Of Them

So you know how President Obama called for a minimum wage of $10.10 in the State of the Union? Well, that is a great plan if you HATE THE POORS. But if you love the poor, if you have...

Tech Bazillionaire Tom Perkins Warns Of New Holocaust: People Complaining About Google Buses

Meet Tom Perkins. He is an uber-gazillionaire tech dude who once killed a man with his yacht. But that's just an interesting footnote to his biography. See, Tom Perkins is apparently hiding in an attic in San Francisco just...

Income Inequality Called A ‘Problem’ In Wall Street Journal, Temperature In Hell Dropping Rapidly

Hidebound banking pamphlet The Wall Street Journal's entire reason for existing is to endorse the view that there is no such thing as a problem caused by rich people. So it was jarring to read this on their blog: The...