wall street
Chris Christie Won’t Be Mitt’s VP Because Chris Christie Knows A Loser When He Sees One
For months, political comedy aficionados everywhere have been demanding a Romney-Christie “Odd Couple” GOP ticket, where Chris Christie would leave his dirty socks all over the floor after a hard day of screaming abuse at schoolteachers, and Mitt Romney would pick them up with tongs while grinning mirthlessly. Sadly, this was not to be, and [...]
Breaking: Goldman Sachs Did Not Break Any of Those Laws It Wrote
Good news, bankers! Our long national nightmare of no accountability and massive golden parachutes is behind us so let there be champagne, caviar, and get out of jail free cards for all because the entire financial crisis is forgiven and we can all go back to blaming Poors and Political Correctness for causing the housing [...]
Everything About Rick Santorum Is Gross, Like His ‘Creamcup Trust’
Today’s Santorum scandal du jour — which means “a frothy mix, etc.,” in Santorum’s native language of Gay Obsessed — involves the various mansions he purchases through shady mortgages, in Virginia. But really, did he need to name his sketchy tax dodge “The Creamcup Trust,” and did he have to involve somebody named “James Sack”?
Corzine Basically Last Person on Earth Who Knows How He Lost $1.2 Billion
Look, guys, Jon Corzine was just as shocked to hear that $1.2 billion in customer funds went missing from Jon Corzine’s brokerage firm MF Global as people who weren’t in charge of that money. The last few days that he was in charge of the now-bankrupt firm were, in his words to a congressional committee [...]
Oppressed Wall Streeters Do Not Care For These Mean Protesters
Here is video from Salon’s Justin Elliot of protesters having a merry little tussle this morning near the New York Stock Exchange, where cops have arrested as many as 75 protesters so far, for the crime of making it slightly more difficult for Wall Street employees to get to work, the most illegal thing in [...]
Saturday Is Bank Transfer Day, So What Will You (We) Do?
It says a lot about the Internet that the first thing we saw about the November 5 Anti-Bank Action Day was a snide remark. Something along the lines of “Good job dumb hippies, banks are closed on Saturday.” First of all, not true at all! Bank headquarters are closed on Saturday, but most bank branches [...]
Meet the Smart Anthropologist Anarchist Who Helped Launch #OWS
Here’s something we don’t say every day: This long, well-written profile in Bloomberg BusinessWeek is inspiring. It’s about David Graeber, “the Anti-Leader of Occupy Wall Street,” and he is just the kind of smart anthropologist that Florida criminal/governor Rick Scott must’ve been thinking about during that whole “shut down the teaching of anthropology” idiocy. Graeber [...]
Billionaire Bloomberg Terrorizes #OWS Families Out of Friday Campout
Wall Street billionaire Michael Bloomberg has been nervously “playing nice” with the Occupy Wall Street movement for a month now, because he honestly fears an Egypt-style national uprising in America that will end with most of the Wall Street plutocrats’ heads on pikes. He is correct to fear this, of course — you can only [...]
Hedge Fund Criminal Gets 11 Years, Which Should Placate Everyone
A notorious hedge fund manager found guilty of the most blatant insider securities trading since the Reagan Era was sentenced to 11 years in federal prison today, which experts hope will “calm everyone the fuck down and maybe stop this revolution.” But the fat, diabetic billionaire’s mild prison sentence for his organized crime spree and [...]
Where’s Wags? Wall Street Riley Is On ‘The Story’
Have you been missing Riley Waggaman’s Wonkette dispatches from the Occupation? So have we! But while we await his return to Zuccotti Park/Liberty Square/Freedom Fry-T-Mobile Arena, here is a program we think you will enjoy. It’s The Story, a good topical show from American Public Media, and Riley is the featured debt-ridden unemployed vagrant/visionary. Here’s [...]
Here’s the Video of Those Wall Streeters Drinking Champagne Above the Protest
We haven’t heard from Riley in 18 hours, and fear for the safety of his Monopoly MacBook battery. While we await Waggaman’s new dispatch from the Occupy Wall Street occupation, here’s the actual video of the Wall Street suits literally drinking champagne and laughing from balconies while thousands of serious and determined protesters march below. [...]
A Children’s Treasury of Occupy Wall Street Photographs
Our freedom-fighting Wonkette operative KenLayIsAlive has been part of the Occupy Wall Street occupation since it began. Here’s a batch of his recent photos. Thank you, KenLayIsAlive!
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