wall street

Crack! That blasted girl, that wench, had shattered her final highball glass as Peggy Noonan’s scullery maid. But Dame Noonan had not the spirit to dismiss her on this eve, so instead she conjured a weighty silence, an invisible pall under which this mousy strip of a girl would be permitted to clean the last […]

Today in Wishful Thinking: Fox Business News ran this tantalizing headline yesterday: “Analyst Sees Chance of Obama Resignation.” And by golly, there is nothing at all untrue about it! They found a Wall Street investment analyst who has “27 years of experience in the securities industry” and based on his excellent science, he figures there’s […]

How’s that vein in your forehead? Poppin’ fresh? No? You’re happy?! Well that won’t do at all! Here, read this story about how Wall Street firms are furiously buying up cheap homes, renting them out, refusing to treat infestations of vermin, threatening legal action against renters for things that aren’t their fault, and (of course) bundling monthly rent […]

Gosh, we are such dumb liberals! We thought we knew all about capitalism, an economic system most of us have lived with our entire lives. We thought we knew all about private ownership, and free markets, and the commodification of labor, and investment, and consumption, and all that jazz! And we thought we knew about […]

You know what’s hard? Being yelled at for being rich and kinda douchey. Sometimes, wittle fee-fees get boo-boos on them, ginormous egos might get an owwie, and the only thing to cushion the blow is millions of dollars to soak up the tears. For Robert Benmosche, the CEO who took over AIG in 2008 after […]

Timing is everything. And if you’re the wingnut publication Capitol Hill Daily, which we’ve never heard of before, you could probably pick a better day than yesterday — when the Dow Jones averaged closed at over 15,000 for the first time ever — to have issued a call for the impeachment of President Obama because […]

For months, political comedy aficionados everywhere have been demanding a Romney-Christie “Odd Couple” GOP ticket, where Chris Christie would leave his dirty socks all over the floor after a hard day of screaming abuse at schoolteachers, and Mitt Romney would pick them up with tongs while grinning mirthlessly. Sadly, this was not to be, and […]

Good news, bankers! Our long national nightmare of no accountability and massive golden parachutes is behind us so let there be champagne, caviar, and get out of jail free cards for all because the entire financial crisis is forgiven and we can all go back to blaming Poors and Political Correctness for causing the housing […]

How was everyone’s May Day? Did you go out and join one of the many actions across the country? Did you make it seem like you participated by re-posting May Day news items to your Facebook wall? That’s nice, but did you notice that the world economic order had not shifted by the time you […]

Today’s Santorum scandal du jour — which means “a frothy mix, etc.,” in Santorum’s native language of Gay Obsessed — involves the various mansions he purchases through shady mortgages, in Virginia. But really, did he need to name his sketchy tax dodge “The Creamcup Trust,” and did he have to involve somebody named “James Sack”?

Look, guys, Jon Corzine was just as shocked to hear that $1.2 billion in customer funds went missing from Jon Corzine’s brokerage firm MF Global as people who weren’t in charge of that money. The last few days that he was in charge of the now-bankrupt firm were, in his words to a congressional committee […]

While the Occupy Wall Street movement can sometimes seem to be more about tents and police and pepper spray than the crushing economic injustice in this country, Republican political operatives are having no trouble at all figuring out exactly what #OWS wants. “I’m so scared of this anti-Wall Street effort. I’m frightened to death,” top […]

Here is video from Salon’s Justin Elliot of protesters having a merry little tussle this morning near the New York Stock Exchange, where cops have arrested as many as 75 protesters so far, for the crime of making it slightly more difficult for Wall Street employees to get to work, the most illegal thing in […]

It says a lot about the Internet that the first thing we saw about the November 5 Anti-Bank Action Day was a snide remark. Something along the lines of “Good job dumb hippies, banks are closed on Saturday.” First of all, not true at all! Bank headquarters are closed on Saturday, but most bank branches […]

Here’s something we don’t say every day: This long, well-written profile in Bloomberg BusinessWeek is inspiring. It’s about David Graeber, “the Anti-Leader of Occupy Wall Street,” and he is just the kind of smart anthropologist that Florida criminal/governor Rick Scott must’ve been thinking about during that whole “shut down the teaching of anthropology” idiocy. Graeber […]