UPDATE: He’s on early! He’s on now! MORE »

* Trust your insurance agent. No, really. [Daily Kos]
* Wal-Mart’s yellow smiley found drinking his severance pay in a Bentonville pub. [HuffPo]
* Listen closely to how people choose to explain themselves; you’ll feel better about not liking them to begin with. [The Evangelical Outpost]
* CEO’s know how to treat the help. [InkWell]
* Don’t blame McDonald’s for making you fat. Blame Beverly Hills residents for making you fat by comparison. [BOORTZ]

There is, apparently, some sort of Bentonville County Fair going on at Wal-Mart HQ. They’re calling it “Media Eduction” or “Please Write Favorably Of Us For Once Day” (the first one sounds ominous enough, actually…). They’ve invited a couple bloggers to liveblog (sort of) the proceedings, and it sounds like quite a treat: MORE »

* Illegal immigrants are indispensable. Robots can’t be trusted and trained monkeys are just disgusting. [IMAO]
* Wal-Mart baits independent-minded liberals with attractive gay men. [HuffPo]
* The formula to tip your favorite bar wench goes quadratic. [unbossed]
* Katie Couric, an unlikely combination of good looks and literacy, takes a pay cut to move up the ladder. [Outside the Beltway]
* If Congress is a colony of termites and DeLay is its queen, who foots the Orkin bill? [Rude Pundit]

* Michelle Malkin sleeps on a king-size Lego bed, in a Lego tower, surrounded by an adhesive image of a moat. Naivete sold separately. [Michelle Malkin]
* Hillary Johnson can

Panic! Blogs engage in unethical practices! New York Times reporters shocked — shocked — to find that publicists influence news coverage! MORE »

•  Is Condi gay?!?!?!?!??! Only the National Enquirer knows for sure. But we refuse to subscribe to find out. So much better to imagine… mmmm…. [National Enquirer]
• Bush lurves Tina’s gams. [AP]
• “Velcro Veep” bounces off me and sticks on you. [USAT]
• Wal-mart opposition has “bamboo” in the lobby. Yeah, yeah…. “bamboo.” [USAT]
• Condi Rice’s media guy. (Ask him about the gay!) Brilliant about image, total cheapskate on the minibar. [NYT]
• C-SPAN totally biased! On “Washington Journal,” “just 3 percent were women of color.” Well fuck. [FAIR]
• Washington has a gap between the “haves and the haves-power.” But we have awesome boots. [WP]
• “I’M HOME FROM HAVING A COLONOSCOPY — everything went fine, but I think I’ll let the drugs leave my system for a while longer before doing any serious blogging.” Pretty much the definition of TMI. [Instapundit] MORE »

• Wal-Mart has a “war room.” Uhm, sure. Got some kids phone banking? WAR ROOM. You could call a hallway a war room and it would get a story. Uhm, oops. That happened. [NYT, WMW]
• “The Situation Room” becomes “Situation Mansion.” Twenty-fucking-five percent of CNN’s programming yesterday was Blitzerriffic. Fuck. [FishbowlDC]
• DC mayor Anthony Williams, blogger. Or not. [DCist]
• The senate’s “closed session”… Legislative maneuvering or lounge-lizard call of love? “The public was ordered out of the chamber, the lights were dimmed, and the doors were closed.” [FishbowlNY]
• “I am a wino panda named Butterstick…” [Flickr]

• Jeb Bush, talking hurricane relief and support, proves to be a less-than-traditional conservative: “If Wal-Mart can do it, why can’t the government?” That’s like digging up Barry Goldwater in order to kill him again! [South Florida Sun-Sentinel]
• “Borked” versus “Miers”. What the rest of the world calls “tops” and “bottoms.” [AP, via Breitbart.com]
• Vioxx teaches its reps to play Dodgeball. Because nobody makes them bleed their own profits! Nobody! [ATLA]
• The original text of Harriet Miers resignation letter. REVEALED! [Flak Magazine]
• Red States Lose! Ozzie Guillen rubs Texas’ face in it by taking World Series victory to decidedly erotic new heights. [AP]