Michael Kinsley, the dignified journalist and dinner companion to David Denby, starts his review of the new Newsweek reboot with this: “Having recently been dumped by Time, I naturally had great hopes for this week’s much-anticipated makeover of Newsweek.” And 2,000 annoying words later — including a long bit about masturbating to a large photograph of the homophobic idiot Miss California — he closes with this: “Don’t forget to cancel your subscription to Time while you’re at it.” MORE »

Despite the best (?) efforts of PUMA and the Bigfoot Murderer, Congress counted up Nate Silver’s mysterious 538 electoral votes today and guess what? Barack Obama got a whole lot of those votes — 365 over old what’s-his-name’s 173 — and Dick Cheney says that makes Barack Obama the president of the U.S.A., hooray! Why do we feel so creeped out? [YouTube]

With the West Coast polls closed and Obama already holding 220, including Virginia … well, you can count, even if you’re very wasted right now. California has 55 electoral votes, Washington state has 11, Hawaii has 4, and Oregon has 7. You can add that to 220 electoral votes CNN says he has right now. We have a new president. His name is Barack Obama.

Are the McCain-Palin people even aware that Tina Fey is making fun of them, all the time? Oh, wait … this is a magazine cover from 2004. Which still doesn’t make any sense. Why, in 2004, did the editors of this (obviously now defunct) magazine decide that the best illustration of the Kerry-Bush race was … a picture of a teevee comic who doesn’t portray either of them, and a guy who was soundly beaten for the GOP nomination four years earlier, in 2000? There is no answer, no “figuring it out.” Just enjoy the random strangeness of Tina Fey mocking McCain on a magazine newspaper-supplement cover four years ago. [Poynter Forums]

HELP US, GEORGE W., YOU ARE OUR ONLY HOPE? Oh dear lord, George W. Bush will be rolled out in a moment to speak about the Depression, again. Liveblogging will occur. [Associated Press]

You know those ridiculous “Join Rudy” YouTube ads about how Fred Thompson’s a transsexual and Mitt Romney’s a scientologist? Well, they didn’t actually win the MSNBC Hardball Chris Matthews video awards, which is apparently a real thing. [Inside Cable News]