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Tag: waco

Janet Reno, 78, Has Gone To The Big Dance Party In The Sky

It's still Reno Time.
History's Greatest Monster, 2016 Edition

Somebody Finally Remembered To Accuse Hillary Of Murdering Scalia

Y'all, we were getting worried. Antonin Scalia's pillow murdered him to death on Saturday, and conspiracy theories have been raging ever since about how Barack Obama probably was the master of that pillow, killing Scalia in his sleep to...
Values Voters arriving.

It’s The Values Voter Summit! Has Grindr Crashed Yet?

Hooray, the Values Voter Summit started Friday morning in Washington ... and you're late! Haha, just kidding, it's never too late to go to a sausage party full of sad, closeted dicks. We woulda been ALL OVER THIS SHIT...
Take that, Austin!

The One Place In Texas It’s Not OK To Carry A Gun Is In Your Vagina

You know what we love about working at Wonkette? We love coming across a story with a headline like "Cops: Woman Concealed Loaded Gun in Vagina" and having to double-check to make sure it's different from that OTHER loaded-gun-in-a-vagina...
Dear Wonkette, I wish to complain that you have depicted active-duty WWII soldiers in a story on outlaw gangs...Also The Harley WLA was a bitchin' bike.

Outlaw Biker Gangs Enlisting Army Guys, What’s Wrong With That?

Just in case you weren't nervous enough about the dangers of this bad old world, NBC brings us a scary story about a 2014 report by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives on attempts by outlaw motorcycle...
This is silly. The real Texas vending machines include some revolvers.

After Waco Shootout, Know What Texas Needs? More Guns EVERYWHERE!

On Sunday, Waco, Texas played host to a guns-and-knives ballet performance by the Bandidos and Cossacks motorcycle clubs, leaving 9 dead, 18 injured, and 170 in jail. On Monday, the Texas Senate debated HB 910, a bill that would...
Almost certainly the fault of single mothers

9 Dead In Waco Biker Fight; Armed Society Not Quite So Polite

Nine bikers were killed in a fight at a restaurant in Waco, Texas, Sunday, as rival motorcycle gangs fought each other over not much of anything. The violence has left observers wondering what it is about Texan people that...

Now It Is Wendy Davis’s Fault We Are Boycotting Girl Scout Abortion Cookies Forever

So the last time we heard about wingnuts boycotting Girl Scouts and their delicious Thin Mint Abortion Cookies, it was just crazy Colorado radio preacher man Kevin Swanson who wanted to boycott the lesbian abortion terrorists of the GSA....

How Is Missouri Senate Candidate Todd Akin Setting His Compound On Fire Today?

When Republican consultant Kellyanne Conway told Todd "Legitimate Rape" Akin to be more like David Koresh -- the cult leader in Waco whose standoff with the ATF led to the death of 80 of his followers and himself --...

CNN Wondering Why Waco Massacre & OK City Bombing Were On Same Day

On this day many awful years ago, Bill Clinton's government bulldozed and burnt down a rural house full of children and their moms. Why? Eh, who knows. Every couple of years the U.S. government needs to randomly massacre a...

George W. Bush’s Escape To Waco