wa food
Would you look at that, it’s time for Halloween. Perhaps you are putting the finishing touches on your Sexy Sarah Palin/Tina Fey Costume, or is that not *in* this year? So maybe you’re going to dress up as the BP Oil Spill? Or a failed mortgage? Or maybe you’ve chosen some other semi-political witty Concept, [...]
Let’s play “What would Carl Paladino do if he saw a bunch of drag queens running down a perfectly nice street in the middle of the District of Columbia while happy, well-adjusted Washingtonians watched and cheered and after the races scrambled to take photos with the Drag Queens, probably for future campaign purposes!” Carl surely [...]
Oh noes, perhaps you realize that the midterm elections are, oh, a week away and that the results aren’t looking so great for the Democrats. But this isn’t about America! This is about DC! America is full of fat slobs who like God and the missionary position, but DC is full of people whose eating [...]
Pie: Recognizing that serving food out of an actual building gets you nowhere in D.C., Dangerously Delicious Pies will soon be serving their pies from the back of a moving vehicle. But should you be okay with eating pie under a roof, Monday-Thursday from 4PM-close, from their physical location on H Street NE, they offer [...]
If American Freedom came to Cuba in the form of expensive restaurants for the New Cuban Yuppies, could they finally dine like the wealthy D.C. citizens of Socialist Obamaland? Yes they could! The Cubanos would all gather at fancy new places like Cuba Libre, a fine-dining establishment in Penn Quarter offering Nuevo Cubano food such [...]
The angry lawyers at the law firm Steptoe & Johnson actually SUED the Dupont Circle hamburger shop Rogue States because the alleged smell of burning dead animal was wafting up from the restaurant into the firm’s offices, making the lawyers sick and distracting them from doing whatever the remaining employed lawyers do with their billable [...]
Wednesday, October 13: In October we celebrate America’s Favorite Cancer, and women everywhere are lining up for their pink ribbons, hoping that maybe one day they’ll conquer this disease, with ribbons. Bright Pink, a national organization that provides education and support to young women at high risk for breast and ovarian cancer, is hosting a [...]
Wednesday, October 7: If you’re not doing anything tonight, Riley is insistent that you come to the Rock and Roll Hotel to watch him sing “I Touch Myself” while he waterboards his face with vodka and devours meatballs in honor of Delaware Masturbation Witch Christine O’Donnell. For charity of course!
Oh boo hoo, it seems that traveling to Europe may not be the best idea right now, what with the threat of terrorism looming over the ENTIRE continent. Not that anyone can really afford to travel anyway, so, uh, now who’s laughing? But, if this means continuing to spend your days watching porn in your [...]
As you may have figured out by now, it is no longer summer. From Oktoberfests to apple picking to the upcoming mass exodus of half the city, fall is the perfect time to get fat, attempt manual labor, and be gainfully unemployed. Within three months, the entire city will once again be under piles of [...]
Friday, October 1: The best way to get people to go to a free museum? Set up a cash bar, sell some food, and hire a DJ of course! The National Portrait Gallery is hosting its very own after hours event this Friday from 5-8PM, since art looks its best at night and when enjoyed [...]
Oh would you look at that, it’s already football season. Real Americans sit on their couches, flip between the games and their Tivo’d Dancing with the Stars, and stuff corn dogs and corn sugar into their mouths. But not Washingtonians! Here, the masses pile into fancy bars and feast on upscale football-watchin’ foods that don’t [...]
Let’s just say that everything works out in the New Fenty-less DC. Maybe the city will become One! Hooray! BUT what if waiting in line for lobster rolls suddenly becomes outlawed? What if new wine bars and hamburger restaurants no longer open at a weekly rate, and 14th Street doesn’t get its 36th modern furniture store? [...]
Pig Roasts: So what the economy is terrible, what really matters is that Washingtonians always, ALWAYS have an opportunity to eat pig. Oh look, here are a few of the thousands of upcoming pig-centric events: Pig-a-Palooza at Jackson 20 Restaurant on Wednesday, September 22 ($35 for all you can eat pork, ribs, potato salad, cole [...]
