Tag Archives: voting rights

  and how'd you become king then?

King Obama To Give Citizens Choice Between Voting Or FEMA Camps, Thanks Obama!

It's good to be the king
From the wintry environs of Northeast Ohio on Wednesday, an Arctic wind did blast out across the land, chilling the hearts of freedom-loving patriots everywhere. For lo, the Dread Tyrant Obama did proclaim that all the citizenry be compelled under penalty of death to travel to the voting-booth and place the appropriate number of chicken heads in the ballot-basket in order to designate their chosen representative in the Parliaments of the States and the Nation (the Tyrant Obama will, of course, remain King for life). Read more on King Obama To Give Citizens Choice Between Voting Or FEMA Camps, Thanks Obama!…
  He's a total RINO

GOP Senate Drops Words ‘Civil Rights’ From Subcommittee About Civil Rights, Because They Get It

we don't need no
In a move calculated to remind Tea Baggers and gun fondlers that yes, he totally gets it, John Cornyn (R-Texas), the incoming Chairman of  the Senate Judiciary Subcommittee on the Constitution, Civil Rights, and Human Rights, dropped the parts of the subcommittee name that don’t really matter or apply to anyone who matters, and renamed the panel the Subcommittee on the Constitution. Read more on GOP Senate Drops Words ‘Civil Rights’ From Subcommittee About Civil Rights, Because They Get It…
  Here have some news n stuff

Who Wants Open Interwebs? Oh, Just Everyone

This joke never gets old
Via Blurrent You’d think, from the reaction of certain especially loud dudes on the right, that President Obama’s support of net neutrality was like proposing Obamacare for the internet. Or even the Holocaust. But despite what a few blowhards on the, AHEM, internet say, even conservatives think net neutrality is a great idea, actually: Read more on Who Wants Open Interwebs? Oh, Just Everyone…
  I went back to Ohio and my precinct was gone

Supreme Court Murders Early Voting In Ohio, Oh Well

Don't be ridiculous. Of course you didn't
Oh hi, Ohio, were you getting ready to start early voting tomorrow? Yeah, you can go ahead and cancel those plans. The Supreme Court decided — in a SHOCKING! 5-4 split, and you will probably never be able to guess who voted how* — that’s on hold for now: Read more on Supreme Court Murders Early Voting In Ohio, Oh Well…
  #RIPpatriarchy

Thanks For Making Us Equal, Men. XOXO, The Ladies

Thank god that's all behind us now!
Hey, ladies, how are you celebrating Women’s Equality Day? Shopping? Painting your nails with “I’ve Been Roofied Red“? Wondering what the heck is Women’s Equality Day? Here, let’s have President Obama mansplain it for us: Read more on Thanks For Making Us Equal, Men. XOXO, The Ladies…
  baby come on give me one more chance

RNC Targets Women & Minorities, And Not Just For Voter Suppression! (Video)

You all remember how the Republicans made a big show after Nobummer’s re-election of learning that maybe putting all their eggs in the ‘angry white man’ basket might not work in modern America? That lasted about 2.8 seconds, until Republicans started, you know, being Republican. But since the report that outlined that sincere push was released a year ago today, the RNC has put out a teevee advertisement proving that they can, indeed, find minorities and women to say they are Republican. Click on the video! Seriously, give it a watch! One guy even speaks Mexican, so we assume Rep. Steve King is checking his calves for illegal cantaloupes right this minute!  Read more on RNC Targets Women & Minorities, And Not Just For Voter Suppression! (Video)…
  a plague o' both thy houses

Ancient North Carolina Lady Resigns Senate To Personally Register Every Voter Herself

Progressive state Sen. Ellie Kinnaird resigned her seat in the North Carolina Senate Monday so that she can work on a project to register voters and help ensure that people get proper ID so they can vote despite the state’s idiotic new voter suppression laws. Can we nominate someone for Legislative Badass of the Year even though she came to our attention for leaving the state legislature? When it’s a body as thoroughly awful as this year’s North Carolina General Assembly — our first whole-legislature nominee for Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year — then leaving is probably the smartest move. Read more on Ancient North Carolina Lady Resigns Senate To Personally Register Every Voter Herself…
  today in butthurt

Eric Holder Enforces Voting Rights Act In Texas, Wingnuts Demand He Cut It Out Or They’ll Tell Mom

Have you guys heard that new joke making the rounds? It goes like this: what’s got two thumbs and doesn’t realize that racism is over everywhere except on the Democrat plantation, so he keeps stirring up racial resentments by persecuting poor innocent white folks and suggesting he won’t let states restrict individuals’ voting rights as if the states have no rights either? This fucking guy! Yep, Eric Holder, taking a break from assuring Vladimir Fucking Putin that the United States won’t torture or kill a fugitive if the Russians will just pretty please hand him over already, is back at it with the reverse racism. Speaking to the National Urban League the other day, Holder announced that the Justice Department would ask a federal court in Texas to restore the “preclearance” requirement that the Supreme Court effectively struck down last month when it invalidated Section 4 of the 1965 Voting Rights Act. The DOJ will instead rely on Section 3, which SCOTUS left alone, to argue that Texas should still have to get permission from the federal government to change its election procedures. (We will leave it to the more lawyerly members of Yr Wonkette to wonksplain the legal ins and outs here, since our undergraduate film degree restricted our education on these matters to a screening of “Mississippi Burning” sometime back in the early 1990s.) Read more on Eric Holder Enforces Voting Rights Act In Texas, Wingnuts Demand He Cut It Out Or They’ll Tell Mom…
  let's party!

Long National Nightmare Over: Jailbird Scooter Libby’s Voting Rights Restored!

It was a dark day in America when Cheney henchman Scooter Libby got convicted and imprisoned by Barack Nobama’s tyrannical army (and its Time Machine). A dark day indeed when you criminalize “politics,” wherein “politics” is defined as “blowing the cover of a CIA person just to make some un-understandable point about … well, we never could figure out what the point of outing Valerie Plame was supposed to be. That her husband was a pussy or something? It really didn’t make much sense.” Luckily, a new day has arrived, and Ol’ Scooty there has now had all his rights restored to him, including voting! Because Republicans are very much into allowing felons who have served their debt to society to vote and stuff, as long as those felons are Scooter Libby. Read more on Long National Nightmare Over: Jailbird Scooter Libby’s Voting Rights Restored!…
  those stupid confused voters

Ohio Secretary of State John Husted Refuses to Comply With Court Order That Would ‘Confuse’ Voters

Remember when Ohio Republican Secretary of State John Husted tried to extend voting hours in Republican counties, and then when everyone bitched and moaned about it he was all FINE, I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND AND NO ONE GETS WEEKEND VOTING, and then it came out that this was all part of a heroic plan to save the election from being sullied by certain kinds of voters? Well, now Jon Husted has had it with all of these shenanigans and with the contortions of the electoral process. This has become too darned confusing, all these voting hours being extended and then not extended and then extended for everyone except for “urban” people and whatnot, so he’s refusing to comply with a court order to expand voting hours so that voters are not “confused.” Read more on Ohio Secretary of State John Husted Refuses to Comply With Court Order That Would ‘Confuse’ Voters…
  lies and the lying liars who tell them

What Is Mitt Romney Lying About Today?

Did you know that Barack Obama hates the US military soooo much that he is trying to take away their voting rights? Mitt Romney said it, so it is a thing that could possibly have been true! (Haha, no it isn’t.) Yes, according to Old Mr. “You’ll Just Have to Trust Me,” the Barack Obama campaign is suing the state of Ohio to take away early voting for members of the military. Now, it gets a little complicated here, see if you can follow along: until last year, all Ohio voters could vote early. Then the GOP passed a bill taking away early voting for everyone but members of the military. Now the Democrats are suing to get early voting reinstated for everyone. We know that was really, REALLY complex, but were you able to follow it? You were? You didn’t read that and then have a stroke that made you differently abled, in your brain? Then you are a better man than Mitt Romney. Read more on What Is Mitt Romney Lying About Today?…
  let's have a war

Old-Hat Wars On Women, Voting, Given Snazzy Update With New GOP War On Math

There is much to say about the current state of the GOP, but let no one say that they are not adept at multitasking. Waging a war on women AND on voting is probably not easy, but here they are, imposing all kinds of restrictions on abortion as well as new laws in ten states that require voters to show certain kinds of ID. So if you are an old lady and your certificate of live birth birth certificate has your maiden name and you are too old to drive so you don’t have a driver license, you can give up on voting unless, of course, you can get someone to schlep you out to the ID office on one of the FOUR DAYS it is open this year. (Also, the ID office may be 100 miles away, but apparently that’s OK because rural poor people are “used to driving long distances.”) Oh and also! The wars on women and voting are going so well that it looks like there might be a war on math looming on the horizon, because according to the Heritage Foundation, three equals two and $25 equals $0. Read more on Old-Hat Wars On Women, Voting, Given Snazzy Update With New GOP War On Math…
  A Duncedom of Confederates

Texas GOP Will Literally And Non-Metaphorically Ban Critical Thinking In Schools

Hooray! The Texas GOP has published its 2012 platform! It’s a bonanza for list-makers, from Think Progress to Comedy Central, because it’s just THAT FULL of crazy. It’s a veritable Boffo’s Joke Emporium Grab-Bag of lunacy: we’ve got pledges to repeal the 1965 Voter [sic] Rights Act, to stop the womenfolk from doing ungodly things with their sinful ladyparts, and to keep the UN from tainting the water supply with homosexual Kenyan-born Day-After Pills. But the awesomest part of the platform is to be found in the section on Edumacation. No, it’s not the ringing endorsement of corporal punishment, nor is it the predictable support for promoting freedom by forcing children to pledge allegiance to both the US and Texas flags. Heck, it’s not even the subtle shift from an open “Cdesign proponentsist” agenda to a pseudo-neutral call for students to be able to answer “God Did It” on a biology test “without fear of retribution or discrimination,” or even the plan to base all US History lessons on the art of John McNaughton. Nope, the real zinger of the 2012 GOP platform is what appears to be a declaration of war on rational thought itself: We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS) (values clarification), critical thinking skills and similar programs that are simply a relabeling of Outcome-Based Education (OBE) (mastery learning) which focus on behavior modification and have the purpose of challenging the student’s fixed beliefs and undermining parental authority. Read more on Texas GOP Will Literally And Non-Metaphorically Ban Critical Thinking In Schools…
  the dmv is in charge what could go wrong

Rick Scott Bravely Purges 91-Year-Old War Hero Criminal From Voting Rolls

Oh look, there they go again! By “they” we mean the Democrats, always crying about voter suppression. Look, is it our fault that their supporters are all vicious thugs, pot smokers, illegal immigrants, white slavers, people whose names end in vowels or “z,” vicious illegal immigrant thugs, and liberals? Only Rick Scott is man enough to delegate to various bureaucratic state agencies the important task of removing these scumbags from the voter registration database, leaving Democracy in the hands of the people who invented it (white people, for the most part). And now the liberal media in liberal Miami are pouncing on one of the purge’s greatest successes — the removal of an admitted criminal from the voting rolls — like it’s a bad thing! Read more on Rick Scott Bravely Purges 91-Year-Old War Hero Criminal From Voting Rolls…
  democracy is a terrible conspiracy

Why Do Poors Get To Vote If They Keep Insisting On Being Poor?

Here’s a weird, confusing little shovel’s worth of right-wing hater dirt from some oppressed American Spectator columnist tired of the scavenging poor eating up all his garden tomatoes or whatever: “Registering [the poor] to vote is like handing out burglary tools to criminals.  It is profoundly antisocial and un-American to empower the nonproductive segments of the population to destroy the country.” Woah! Who are these terrible subhuman gremlins sleeping on carpets of welfare rubies in their exurban hovels while dump trucks leave piles of cash by the door? We want their money! Just kidding, we want to hunt them down, where are they? Read more on Why Do Poors Get To Vote If They Keep Insisting On Being Poor?…
  new license plate slogan: 'fuck that utah guy'

Utah Congressman To Be In Charge of D.C., Put It Back Into Maryland

The Washington City Paper‘s new “The Sexist” blogger, Dave Weigel, has a profile out on Jason Chaffetz, the “proto-Tea Party” freshman Republican Congressman from Utah who is poised to head the Federal Workforce, Postal Service, and the District of Columbia Subcommittee of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee. That’s actually sort of funny, because this guy doesn’t like DC! For example, part of his platform when he ran for office in 2008 was to work to keep the District from getting a vote in Congress. Oh, and he wants to stick DC into Maryland and overturn the legalization of gay marriage. Read more on Utah Congressman To Be In Charge of D.C., Put It Back Into Maryland…
  everybody knows black people can't vote

Sociopath Republicans Sabotage DC Voting Rights Bill With Gun Insanity

Sorry, Washington DC! Maybe you can have a voting member of Congress if there’s ever a black president or something. Steny Hoyer announced this afternoon that the House won’t vote on the DC voting-rights bill because the National Rifle Association got its bullshit attached to the legislation, thanks to wingnuts in Congress. [Washington Post/Roll Call] Read more on Sociopath Republicans Sabotage DC Voting Rights Bill With Gun Insanity…
  uncle thomas' cabin

Clarence Thomas Casts Lone, Brave Vote Against Voting Rights Act, Which Let Black People Vote

The racist states of the South — including the “honorary southern states” of Texas, Arizona and Alaska — do not like letting black and brown people vote, so 43 years ago the Voting Rights Act was signed into federal law, and ever since those officially racist jurisdictions have to get federal approval for any changes in voting law, still, because god knows we’d be back to poll taxes and grandfather clauses in about 10 minutes without the grownups keeping an eye on the crackers. So, obviously, today the “black justice” on the Supreme Court, wingnut blogger Clarence Thomas, was the brave lone voice of dissent, standing athwart the law that gave basic human rights to his race, yelling “no that shit is unconstitutional.” Read more on Clarence Thomas Casts Lone, Brave Vote Against Voting Rights Act, Which Let Black People Vote…
  we'll have to get new license plates

D.C. VOTING RIGHTS BILL MOVES ALONG: Golly, now look at this, the latest D.C. voting rights bill — which would give one full House seat to Washington, D.C. and another to Utah, to appease Republicans — passed a preliminary Senate vote today, 62-34, opening it to a full floor debate. If it passes a final Senate vote (later this week-ish), then it will easily pass the House and be signed by Barack Obama. John McCain and many other Republicans object to the bill because it “could be the first step toward giving the District two senators,” which is not really a reason to vote against something. [AP] Read more on …
 

Your Constitution Forbids Voting For Ladies

Are you and your mother-in-law still thinking about voting for Hillary Clinton? Well, wake up and smell the Constitution’s great and glorious ball-sack, which tells us explicitly that ladies cannot be elected President. One brave New Hampshire citizen ventures this brilliant legal observation in the Concord Monitor. Read on to discover how Hillary Clinton will never be the president even if everybody votes for her. Read more on Your Constitution Forbids Voting For Ladies…
 

Thanks For Bringing A Pizza To The Wheelchair Guy, New Hampshire!

Hey, New Hampshire election officials, that is a great logo you’ve got going there. Let’s see, there’s a handicapped guy, and the nice election people have sent him a pizza, because he can’t get to the polling place in his wheelchair, which is probably a serious violation of federal and state access laws. (And thanks for the tip, “Louis J.”) Read more on Thanks For Bringing A Pizza To The Wheelchair Guy, New Hampshire!…
 

Someday, Eleanor Holmes Norton Might Be Slightly Less Useless

In what world could the partnership of Orrin Hatch, Joe Lieberman, and Tom Davis becalled “bipartisan”? When Eleanor Holmes Norton is getting cozy with them, obv, so she can finally have a real-life “vote” in that crazy House of Representatives. As this is a deal with the devils, it means fucking Utah gets one more representative. Because poor and black people may only be allowed equal rights if white nutjobs in the hinterlands get a little something in return for their troubles. Oh, these four all “wrote” an op-ed today, that’s why we’re talking about it. Fun Facts we learned about DC voting rights, after the jump. Read more on Someday, Eleanor Holmes Norton Might Be Slightly Less Useless…