Tag Archives: voting

  Our Cold Dead Hands

This White Lady In Body Armor Shot All Her Neighbors And Lived To Tell! Your Gun Fun Holiday Roundup!

awwwwwww
Time for another of our periodic check-ins with the good guys what carry guns and keep us safe from tyranny with their steadfast devotion to Responsible Gun Ownership. First off, we have an inspiring tale from Texas, where Friend of Liberty Martin Gaytan regularly posted about his love of guns on Facebook, including a June repost of this inspiring and irrefutable case for why every American needs a gun: Read more on This White Lady In Body Armor Shot All Her Neighbors And Lived To Tell! Your Gun Fun Holiday Roundup!…
  Bow Your Head With Great Respect And Genuflect Genuflect Genuflect

Crazy Domino’s Pizza Catholic Founder Guy Has Super Interesting Ideas About Slut Pills

Hey, what if Rover's not a weather balloon? What if it's a big communion wafer?
How’s this for a description of heaven on Earth? Take a look at Ave Maria, Florida, a privately owned town — built to go along with private college Ave Maria University — where, as the website says, everything is nigh-perfect to raise a family: Read more on Crazy Domino’s Pizza Catholic Founder Guy Has Super Interesting Ideas About Slut Pills…
  I Hear America Derping

Facebook Gun Hero Explains Assassinatin’ Beats Voting Every Time

Other than *that* it's a pretty compelling argument
From the Coalition to Stop Gun Violence Facebook page comes the above screenshot of a cheerful Election Day message from a pro-gun, pro-insurrection Facebook thing. The Facebook group is still up, though they’ve removed the image and the accompanying text, which read: Read more on Facebook Gun Hero Explains Assassinatin’ Beats Voting Every Time…
  Ballot Recital

Latino Guy Delivers Absentee Ballots In Arizona. You’ll Never Guess What Happens Next.

It's almost as if he thought he wasn't breaking the law or something!
Finally, the right has incontrovertible evidence of voting fraud! Democrats say it’s rare, but here is the video that proves just how real and scary it is: “Liberal activist caught on video stuffing hundreds of ballots.” Or, from some of the more responsible rightwing sites who are pretending to hedge a little, “This Video Appears To Show A Guy Stuffing Hundreds Of Ballots Into A Ballot Box.” Read more on Latino Guy Delivers Absentee Ballots In Arizona. You’ll Never Guess What Happens Next….
  Your Morning Maddow

Rachel Maddow: Voting Is A Right, Just Like Gay Marriage (Video)

Pennies from heaven...
Monday night, Rachel Maddow was positively giddy about the Supreme Court’s decision to let stand lower courts’ pro-marriage equality rulings. By Tuesday, she was wondering whether federal courts would figure out that voting is supposed to be a fairly absolute right as well. Read more on Rachel Maddow: Voting Is A Right, Just Like Gay Marriage (Video)…
  sweet home

Gun Humpers Fight For Their Right To Shoot Up All The Polling Places, For Freedom

Remember when history’s greatest and most pervasive monsters, the New Black Panther Party, showed up with a whopping two dudes or so in Philly in 2008 and stood around intimidating little old white ladies by holding doors open for them and everyone over at The Daily Blaze Glenn Caller Beck Show whined all the whines in the world? We’d so like to line up those crybabies to chat a wee bit about yesterday’s voting in Alabama, which was basically nothing but GunNutPalooza, with living stereotypes demanding to tote their guns from the pickup truck to the voting booth like Jesus and America said they could, and then wailing SO HARD if they couldn’t. Read more on Gun Humpers Fight For Their Right To Shoot Up All The Polling Places, For Freedom…
  why didn't you go before we left?

If You Want To Vote In Miami-Dade County, You’re Going To Need Excellent Bladder Control

So let’s say you are a well-populated county (just go with it, please) and people express concern that the bathrooms available at your polling places — where people sometimes wait for HOURS to vote — are not sufficiently accessible to those with disabilities. Do you (a) retrofit the existing bathrooms to ensure accessibility? (b) build new accessible bathrooms? (c) close ALL the bathrooms at polling places so you don’t have to address the accessibility issue? If you are Miami-Dade County, you pick (c) because what the hell is wrong with you? Read more on If You Want To Vote In Miami-Dade County, You’re Going To Need Excellent Bladder Control…
  the pageant of democracy has no swimsuit competition

We Asked, You Told: Wonkers’ Election Day Reasonably Free Of Irregularities … THAT WE COULD SEE

This morning, we asked for your completely unscientific, anecdotal reportage on how the 2013 vote has been going. It would seem that the wheels of Democracy are turning fairly well, with only a few squeaky glitches here and there! Hurrah for the integrity of the process and all that. AS FAR AS WE CAN TELL. That said, a few of you encountered some definite oddness, including one touch-screen “miscalibration” that sounds a lot like the experience of the guy trying to vote for Terry McAuliffe whose story we led off with this morning. “D.H.” writes, I touched Northam for lieutenant governor, but on my summary page the machine indicated I had chosen E.W. Jackson … at least twice I went back and changed it to Northam on the lieutenant governor options page with the “x” unmistakably replaced in front of Northam; and, for sure both times my summary showed I’d chosen Jackson. On my last try I was incredulous. Fortunately, D.H. was able to get help from a poll worker who explained “it might not work if you hit the choice box directly, but hitting it a little above the box might,” which is what did the trick for Col. Morris Davis, too. But! Did D.H. consider the possibility that God was using the “malfunction” for a higher purpose, to elect Ew Jackson? Anyway, don’t worry. Everything’s fine. Read more on We Asked, You Told: Wonkers’ Election Day Reasonably Free Of Irregularities … THAT WE COULD SEE…
  bite the ballot

Send Us Your Anecdotal Reports Of Isolated Voting-Day Irregularities, America!

We’re completely certain that this tweet from Col. Morris Davis is an isolated incident of a minor technological glitch. Has to be, right? Davis was sure it was only a glitch, but also thought it was a good reminder to voters that they should double-check before pressing “submit.” Wonder how a nice strict Voter ID law would keep this sort of thing from happening? Read more on Send Us Your Anecdotal Reports Of Isolated Voting-Day Irregularities, America!…
  the voting whites act

Tyrannical Justice Department Will Sue To Force Its ‘Let Everybody Vote’ Agenda on North Carolina

The U.S. Department of Justice will sue to block North Carolina’s terrible new voter suppression laws, according to the Associated Press. Attorney General Eric Holder seems to think that even after the Supreme Court threw out part of the 1965 Voting Rights Act, the rest of it still remains in effect and the federal government has an interest in ensuring that blacks and poors can vote, so he will ram equality down North Carolina’s throat. Why is Holder so indifferent to the state legislature’s perfectly legitimate desire to engineer a voting advantage for the Republican party? Read more on Tyrannical Justice Department Will Sue To Force Its ‘Let Everybody Vote’ Agenda on North Carolina…
  si se puede

Supreme Court Makes It Easier to Vote, Much to the Dismay of Conservatives Everywhere

Unless you have been living under a rock over the last few years, you know that the GOP has a not-so-new idea to try to win elections: prevent those who would vote against them from being able to vote, in the name of stopping voter fraud, which doesn’t really exist in any meaningful way, but is good for scaring wingnuts. Because why bother changing your core beliefs when you can just keep folks you don’t like (read: minorities) from voting? Yay democracy! Well, the Supreme Court (we say SCOTUS for our nerd cred, of course) has now weighed in, and decided to put the brakes on some states’ efforts to make it harder to vote. Since this is kinda a BFD, let’s Wonksplain, shall we? Read more on Supreme Court Makes It Easier to Vote, Much to the Dismay of Conservatives Everywhere…
  tackle box

Do Not Mess With This D.C. Lady’s Signs, She Will Wreck You

Just so you know, D.C. Advisory Neighborhood Commission candidate Grace Daughtridge is NOT MESSING AROUND. Not only has she “reestablished” the 11th-largest tree in the District, but she was at a polling place today, and saw a dude futzing with one of her campaign signs, and, if the allegedlies have it right, she took that dude out. NBC Washington brings us the nitty-gritty: Grace Daughtridge allegedly tackled a man in his 40s outside the King Greenleaf Recreation Center in Southwest around 11:15 a.m., claiming he was tampering with some of her campaign signs. Wham-bam! It’s just like how she says she’s been “preventing thieves from stealing rims and tires”! She takes this stuff serious-like. But this sign stuff… maybe… too serious-like? Read more on Do Not Mess With This D.C. Lady’s Signs, She Will Wreck You…
  yay

Cheers For This Illinois Lady Who Voted On Her Way To Give Birth

Hey, kids, let’s take a break from all the worry about voter suppression and screwy voting machines and give a big round of applause to Galicia Malone, 21, who, despite having labor contractions 5 minutes apart, stopped by her local polling place in the Chicago suburb of Dolton to cast her first-ever vote in a presidential election, before continuing on to the hospital. Congrats to Mom and baby! Read more on Cheers For This Illinois Lady Who Voted On Her Way To Give Birth…
  and you go downtown

A Children’s Treasury Of People Voting At The Union Rescue Mission In Los Angeles’s Skid Row, As If That Is Even Legal

Look at this awesome guy! You would think they would have thrown him out of the polling place at Los Angeles’s Union Rescue Mission, on Skid Row, for electioneering. And yet they did not! What is our world even coming to? Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of People Voting At The Union Rescue Mission In Los Angeles’s Skid Row, As If That Is Even Legal…
  kids today

Uh-oh: Your Obama Vote Won’t Count If You Post It On Instagram Or Whatever

Hello, millennial children of the digital age! You probably think you’re pretty “cool” if you take a picture of yourself voting for Obama and then post it on your favorite social media networking time-wasting porn sites, so your friends can see that you’re a liberal chump like them. In this sense voting is like every other activity in your shallow, overshared life. But unlike the artfully filtered pictures of your homemade meals that you put on Instagram and all those nude selfies you stuck on MySpace in 2006 and then forgot about, those photos of your ballots are actually illegal in most states, and thus count in reverse, for Mitt Romney! Read more on Uh-oh: Your Obama Vote Won’t Count If You Post It On Instagram Or Whatever…
  stand in the place where you live

Here Is Joe Biden Standing In Line Like A Boss

See that old gray haired man with his back to us, the one who looks really old (and probably handsome, we are just guessing)? That is Joe Biden. We can tell it is Joe Biden because standing next to him is his hot piece of a wife, Dr. Jill. Do you see what they are doing? They are standing in line to exercise their constitutional right to the franchise! No clearing everybody out of line and telling them to come back when the VIPs are done voting for them! (COUGH ROMNEY COUGH.) Read more on Here Is Joe Biden Standing In Line Like A Boss…
  midol also too

Ladies In Uproar Over Time-Of-The-Month Science

Hey fellow(ette) mom-bloggers! Has someone somewhere suggested that we have hormones, and they sometimes cause us to react or overreact or under-react differently at different times? Would you perhaps like to read a perfectly reasonable piece about some science that may or may not be flawed and then BLOW THE FUCK UP AT THE MESSENGER like a crack mom screaming at the neighbor kids that she’s about to loose her fuckin’ Rottweiler on ‘em?* Well, CNN reported on a new study today, in a totally fair blog post that succinctly explained the study’s myriad blind spots, and now the Ladiez of Twitter — ladies we honestly admire! — have gone totally raggo. Read more on Ladies In Uproar Over Time-Of-The-Month Science…
  vote early and often

Destroying Democracy Thirty-Five Days Early: Ohio Voting Edition

Who’s got two thumbs and voted yesterday? THIS GUY. Ohio allows early voting (sort of maybe if the Secretary of State allows it?) thirty-five days before the election. Because I am a shameless political hack, I knew exactly who I was voting for when the 2012 presidential race began in 2009. (Mitt Romney, obviously.) I voted in Dayton, which Lewis Black once called “Detroit’s little brother.” That is unfair, because Detroit is kind of awesome and has Miguel Cabrera, and Dayton is the birthplace of the Incredible Hulk. Well, Bruce Banner; the Hulk was borne out of Banner’s psychological trauma and exposure to a massive dose of gamma radiation, which kind of happened in multiple places but mainly New Mexico. I did not vote in New Mexico. Yet. Read more on Destroying Democracy Thirty-Five Days Early: Ohio Voting Edition…
  it takes a nation of millions to completely ignore this

New Black Panther Party Set To Make White People Feel Mildly Uncomfortable

In a super-exclusive (read: he was the only person who would talk to them) interview with World Net Daily’s Aaron Klein, New Black Panther Party head Malik Shabazz (real name: Paris Lewis) threatens to once again dominate the white man at up to one polling place in November. During an interview on WABC Radio’s “Aaron Klein Investigative Radio,” Shabaz was asked whether his group is planning to go to U.S. polling stations in the upcoming presidential election. Shabazz replied: “I will say that as this election comes up in November, we will consider our options. And we will consider the fact whether we will legally and lawfully go to the polls again to make sure there is no intimidation against our people, which was our intent in 2008.” Mr. Shabazz, it is time for us to have a talk, because you are goddamn delusional. Read more on New Black Panther Party Set To Make White People Feel Mildly Uncomfortable…
  and they will know us by the trail of votes

Texas Declares Living Voters Dead; Will Maybe Not Declare Them Zombies And Shoot Them

Perhaps the single greatest threat to the sanctity of the vote is dead people voting.  We say “perhaps,” because there is an even greater threat: the dead coming back to life and showing up at the polls just because they never actually died to begin with. Thankfully, Texas is on the case! Like all states, Texas regularly purges its rolls of voters who’ve died. Normally, this is a low-key process where the state passes along to the counties a small list of dead voters as they become available. But this massive mailing two months before the election is new. Rich Parsons, a spokesman for the Texas secretary of state, says the state is not targeting anyone but dead voters. […] Parsons says none of this is a problem; voters who’ve been wrongly purged from the rolls can simply show up and vote anyway. Totally fine, right? And what happens to the diligent allegedly living who try to contact the state of Texas to say, “Oh, hey, my heart has not stopped beating yet except for that one time I did a MASSIVE eightball, but that was only for a few seconds and I mainly just lost the ability to do higher-level math”? Read more on Texas Declares Living Voters Dead; Will Maybe Not Declare Them Zombies And Shoot Them…
  the liberal courts ruined the weekend

Judge Restores Early Voting To All Ohioans Because He Hates The Troops

The Obama campaign filed a lawsuit way back when, like last month or something, to claim that it was unconstitutional for Ohio to allow military voters early voting time in the three days before the election without extending the same time to all Ohio voters. Mitt Romney predictably lied about it, because the only things that come out of Mitt Romney’s mouth are nouns, verbs, and lies about the nouns and verbs he just used. A federal district court judge ruled today that everyone in Ohio gets to vote the Saturday, Sunday and Monday before the election. YAY VOTING (BUT NOT FOR THE BLACK GUY, OKAY?) Read more on Judge Restores Early Voting To All Ohioans Because He Hates The Troops…
  but we were only playing jon husted

Ohio Secretary Of State Turns Car Around, Gives Equal, Crappier Voting Opportunities To All

The New York Times opined yesterday that Ohio Secretary of State Jon Husted was engaging in “overt discrimination” just because he was overseeing the systematic extension of extra voting hours exclusively to Republican counties. Well, Jon Husted got really angry on this road trip that we call Election 2012, and did what pissy dads everywhere do: HE TURNED THIS CAR BACK AROUND. Read more on Ohio Secretary Of State Turns Car Around, Gives Equal, Crappier Voting Opportunities To All…