Wonkette

When a gentleman loves a state very very much, he gives it a box of chocolates and then asks it to go “parking” with him, and then he gropes it for a while and if his love is truly true, he opens up a “post office box” in that state. Thus, a declaration from John McCain’s campaign that the candidate intends to open up a PO box in Pennsylvania means he is serious about romancing the voters there. MORE »

If the global collective unconscious may be likened to a vast, roiling ocean, then your average American voter’s mental workings are a fetid kiddie pool with a half-deflated beach ball bobbing around the perimeter. So what better way to plumb voters’ depths than to ask them to shout out whatever word comes into their head whenever they hear some other word? MORE »

Cable news anchors, you are all fired, except for Chuck Todd. You freak out for weeks about all the crazy doomsday scenarios in which Hillary Clinton might be able to WREST the nomination from Captain Hope, and finally at 2 a.m. you’re like, “Oh, but the math.” This is a photograph of Hillary Clinton also thinking about math. [New York Observer]

Even though his campaign staff has been literally decimated and he released a sad Web video in early March saying “I still love Freedom but Victory is maybe not available to me, in the conventional sense, meaning ‘winning,’” Ron Paul is still running for President. And why not? He just won 16 percent of the Pennsylvania Republican primary vote. Plus, passionate Paultards have been raising a ruckus at conventions from Missouri to Nevada! He will still be President after Hillary seizes the nomination from Ralph Nader and moves to Guam. [Washington Post]

Hillary Clinton had sex with the Burger King once, and this is their baby who robs banks for a living. [AP Photo]

SO BITTER: Can you believe that Barack Obama said poor, bitter voters in small towns are poor and bitter? Hillary and the Republicans will not tolerate this kind of talk. We don’t mention the working poor, remember? It makes rich people uncomfortable. [Political Machine]

Every four years Democrats say they’re going to win elections by getting more young ‘uns and black people to vote, and every four years George Bush gets elected again. But this time will be different, says Barack Obama, because he is getting “folks” to register to vote and he will kick their asses if they don’t. MORE »

Still more primaries were held today in the nation’s war of attrition with voters. Who will win? Will it be The Momentum Kid or the World Class Change Agent? Are the Republicans still in this race, or have they dropped out yet? All will be revealed in just a few short hours. Stay tuned, and suffer with us!

Forget about Barry winning Connecticut or Hillary taking California in yesterday’s primary vote. The real Super Tuesday miracle story happened many millions of miles to the west, in a remote island kingdom called American Samoa. Here “ordinary American Samoans” who will not actually be able to vote in November participated in a Democratic caucus of epic proportions. Clinton took home the prize with an astonishing 163 votes. Stealth candidate Mike Gravel got a vote, though! [AP via KITV]

Why wait until November to start looking for that lobbyist job? Get a jump on the competition and apply now!

A majority — 55 percent — said they are more likely to back a challenger in races on this year’s ballot. Such anti-incumbent sentiment is higher than the 48 percent recorded as “pro-challenger” in a similar survey in 1994, when the GOP took control of both houses of Congress.

Despite the sideshows of terrorism and the horrible threat of Mexican housecleaners, a solid majority of voters say they’re horrified by the economic slide, just plain bummed out about Iraq and generally angry about “something.” MORE »