Tag Archives: vote fraud

  Look how easy it is to be poor!

Rich People: Being Poor Sounds Easy, Let’s Not Be Poor, Though

Being rich is fun, but being poor is way easy
image via Rich Kids Of Instagram Tumblr Here is a terrible thing for you to read, and it is about how rich people have an extremely fucked up view of poor people, so if you don’t want to have to punch your fist through a window in the next five minutes, you should probably just go watch internet videos of cats riding around on roombas. The Pew Research Center released some data recently about politics and financial security, and it was horrible in all of the ways. But one of the worst conclusions was this: Read more on Rich People: Being Poor Sounds Easy, Let’s Not Be Poor, Though…
  Fraught With Fraud

Wingnut Group’s Exciting ‘Vote Fraud’ App Discovers Black Woman In Polling Place

The tech-savvy wingnuts at True The Vote (a group inalterably opposed to both truth and voting) had a brilliant idea to allow their supporters to document all the dirty shenanigans and voter fraud that they just knew for sure was going on in the election this year: A week before the election, they released a cool smartphone app so people could be all crowdsourcey and make sure that no fraud went unreported. The app allowed people to report all sorts of chicanery that had to be happening at their polling places: Read more on Wingnut Group’s Exciting ‘Vote Fraud’ App Discovers Black Woman In Polling Place…
  Das Vote

Eric Holder Sending Black Panthers To Steal All The Elections Again

You can tell they hate America since they don't have guns
The Department of Justice is sending federal monitors to observe elections in 18 states, and the Wingnuttosphere is pretty darned cheesed about it, because this can only lead to tyranny and the UN taking over and — worst of all — black people voting, many of them as often as once!!! According to The Hill: Read more on Eric Holder Sending Black Panthers To Steal All The Elections Again…
  Listicles Are Still A Thing Right?

Nine Easy Halloween Costume Ideas That Won’t Get You Laid And May Kill You

We want your brains
This is you: “I want to dress up for Halloween but I’m lazy and have bad ideas. Can you help?” Probably not, but let’s take a crack at it anyway. Here are nine “easy” costume ideas for you to briefly consider before you just give up and go as whatever you were last year again (a loser with a bad costume). DISCLAIMER: Please do not actually attempt any of the following costumes, especially the ones involving bodily harm. Read more on Nine Easy Halloween Costume Ideas That Won’t Get You Laid And May Kill You…
  'Invisible Man' Wasn't An Instruction Book

We Are Sure Georgia Has A Very Good Reason For Not Letting All Those Black People Vote

Or maybe you just don't exist. Can you prove it?
Nothing like a little week-before-the-election chaos. In Georgia, where activists say that some 40,000 newly registered voters’ names do not yet appear on the state’s database, a judge denied a petition Tuesday requesting that the secretary of state take immediate action to process those missing voters. Judge Christopher Brasher of the Fulton County Superior Court ruled against a claim by the Lawyers’ Committee for Civil Rights, which said that tens of thousands of properly submitted registrations had not been processed. Brasher’s reasoning appears to be that there simply aren’t any missing voters, because Georgia’s attorney general says that the state and counties have processed all the applications they received. Why should the state go out of its way for applications that it’s quite certain don’t exist anyway? Those tens of thousands of Georgians who say they submitted their paperwork but haven’t received registration cards are probably just attention-seekers, we bet. Here are some, seeking attention right now: Read more on We Are Sure Georgia Has A Very Good Reason For Not Letting All Those Black People Vote…
  Ballots Over Broadway

Arizona GOP Will Murder All Early Voting, Unless It Is With Mitt Romney

Won't someone speak out against this sort of thing?
A couple days ago, we brought you the story of a completely fabricated wingnut outrage over a Latino man supposedly “caught” on video as he “stuffed a ballot box” in Arizona’s August primary. Except he wasn’t frauding anything at all. Read more on Arizona GOP Will Murder All Early Voting, Unless It Is With Mitt Romney…
  Ballot Recital

Latino Guy Delivers Absentee Ballots In Arizona. You’ll Never Guess What Happens Next.

It's almost as if he thought he wasn't breaking the law or something!
Finally, the right has incontrovertible evidence of voting fraud! Democrats say it’s rare, but here is the video that proves just how real and scary it is: “Liberal activist caught on video stuffing hundreds of ballots.” Or, from some of the more responsible rightwing sites who are pretending to hedge a little, “This Video Appears To Show A Guy Stuffing Hundreds Of Ballots Into A Ballot Box.” Read more on Latino Guy Delivers Absentee Ballots In Arizona. You’ll Never Guess What Happens Next….
  Mississippi Derping

Chris McDaniel’s Lawyer Fingers Himself

I see fraud people -- everywhere!
Mississippi sore loserman Chris McDaniel’s team just KNOWS that the June 24 Senate primary vote was rigged against him, and so it has been combing all the voting records to list every possible “irregular” vote and insisting they be tossed so that he can be the Republican nominee for Senate this fall, instead of doddering critterdiddler Thad Cochran. Among the votes that McDaniel wants tossed are those cast by McDaniel’s own lawyer, Mitchell H. “Mitch” Tyner Sr., and his wife, Sloane Tyler. Those two obvious fraudsters are on a long list of sketchy votes in an affadavit submitted to Cochran’s lawyers by McDaniel’s legal team, which is headed by Mitchell H. “Mitch” Tyner Sr., the big fraud. Read more on Chris McDaniel’s Lawyer Fingers Himself…
  and yet you still need i.d. to buy a leinenkugel

Busybody Activist Federal Judge Lets Just Anybody Vote In Wisconsin

Well here’s some nice time for your Tuesday: In Wisconsin, Federal District Judge Lynn Adelman struck down the state’s dumb voter ID law (voter ID laws are, by definition, dumb), ruling that the state failed to prove that there’s any voter fraud that needs to be fixed, and that it also didn’t prove that people without ID could get them without difficulty, and, oh, yes, he also found that the law targeted minority voters. Wisconsin Republicans reportedly replied, yeah, and…? Read more on Busybody Activist Federal Judge Lets Just Anybody Vote In Wisconsin…
  the wizard of voter id

Widows, Please Stop Making The Kansas Secretary Of State Sad With Your Vote-Frauding All The Time

Kansas Secretary of State Kris Kobach is branching out from hating immigrants (he helped draft Arizona’s “papers please” immigration law), and is now touting the virtues of the state’s restrictive voter ID law, which requires people to present their birth certificate or other proof of citizenship in order to register to vote. The measure has left some 19,000 voters disenfranchised, but that’s OK, because they’re just “procrastinators” who wouldn’t get their butts in gear and verify they deserve to vote, is all. And now, Kobach is pushing another good reason to make voter ID laws as restrictive as possible: imaginary voter fraud by widows, who apparently are addicted to voting for their dead husbands. Read more on Widows, Please Stop Making The Kansas Secretary Of State Sad With Your Vote-Frauding All The Time…
  that's so cheney

Liz Cheney’s Husband Sees Voter Fraud Every Time He Looks In A Mirror

Wyoming’s Own Liz Cheney is very from Wyoming, and probably so is her husband Phil Perry, who “continues to practice law in Washington,” and “has been registered to vote in both Virginia and Wyoming for the past nine months, even though he signed a document in Wyoming saying he was not registered elsewhere,” which is such a Wyoming thing to do, right? We don’t know, honestly, that’s why we’re asking. You see, we are not as from Wyoming as Liz Cheney and her husband who practices law in Washington and isn’t from Wyoming but is registered to vote there AND in Virginia, because he’s from Wyoming. Let’s look at Wyoming’s voter registration form (.pdf) to see what kind of fraud that high-powered Washington lawyer and Liz Cheney spouse Phil Perry committed in the name of being Mr. Mrs. Wyoming: Read more on Liz Cheney’s Husband Sees Voter Fraud Every Time He Looks In A Mirror…
  the pageant of democracy has no swimsuit competition

We Asked, You Told: Wonkers’ Election Day Reasonably Free Of Irregularities … THAT WE COULD SEE

This morning, we asked for your completely unscientific, anecdotal reportage on how the 2013 vote has been going. It would seem that the wheels of Democracy are turning fairly well, with only a few squeaky glitches here and there! Hurrah for the integrity of the process and all that. AS FAR AS WE CAN TELL. That said, a few of you encountered some definite oddness, including one touch-screen “miscalibration” that sounds a lot like the experience of the guy trying to vote for Terry McAuliffe whose story we led off with this morning. “D.H.” writes, I touched Northam for lieutenant governor, but on my summary page the machine indicated I had chosen E.W. Jackson … at least twice I went back and changed it to Northam on the lieutenant governor options page with the “x” unmistakably replaced in front of Northam; and, for sure both times my summary showed I’d chosen Jackson. On my last try I was incredulous. Fortunately, D.H. was able to get help from a poll worker who explained “it might not work if you hit the choice box directly, but hitting it a little above the box might,” which is what did the trick for Col. Morris Davis, too. But! Did D.H. consider the possibility that God was using the “malfunction” for a higher purpose, to elect Ew Jackson? Anyway, don’t worry. Everything’s fine. Read more on We Asked, You Told: Wonkers’ Election Day Reasonably Free Of Irregularities … THAT WE COULD SEE…
  mickey mouse is registered there also too

Barack Obama Personally Doing All The Voter Fraud, All By Himself

Here is a funny thing! Last week we got a hilarious tip on a bunch of balderdash emanating from the Free Republic, from whom is lost in the mists of time, so we will say “from VodkaGoGo,” about how OMG “Barry Soetoro” is registered to vote at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, because Barack Obama is the least competent vote frauder EVER. And we were going to do some dumb thing on it, but then there was news, so we said, “eh, this one will keep for a slow news day.” WELL THAT SLOW NEWS DAY IS TODAY! Because now it is not just the Freepers, but all the rightwing internet friends who are breathless and Bachmann-eyed in reporting this big get, and they are like “DON’T BELIEVE US? ENTER THIS INFO INTO THE VOTER REG WEBSITE YOURSELF!” and we did, and there’s nothing there, lol. Read more on Barack Obama Personally Doing All The Voter Fraud, All By Himself…
  all he wanted was a pepsi

Hi Dad You’re In Jail, And Other GOP Vote Frauders ‘Testing The System’

After hearing ad nauseam about how Dumbocrats were totally going to ACORN it up this year — and Pundit Press, among others, thinks they totally did — it seems the only three people who actually tried to in-person vote fraud this year were Republicans. So weird! One was a sad idiot lady in sad, idiot Nevada. The other two were some jerkoffs in New Mexico — one of whom, naturally, was a GOP poll watcher. Two of the three gave the same excuse for trying to vote two times each: they were “testing the system,” because of course they were. The third was just stealing his own son’s vote. Read more on Hi Dad You’re In Jail, And Other GOP Vote Frauders ‘Testing The System’…
  Clackamas Wackamas

Stupid Oregon County Fires Election Worker Just Because She Added Republican Votes To Ballots

Oregon’s mail-in balloting procedure is pretty secure, all in all, but it’s not entirely perfect, especially if an elections worker is of a mind to cause some mischief. Take, for instance, Deanna Swenson (please!), an election worker in Clackamas County, Oregon, who was fired and is being investigated for criminal vote fraud after she allegedly filled in votes for Republican candidates on ballots where voters had not made a selection. It’s not clear how many ballots were altered, but a local newspaper reported that “Swenson tearfully insisted that it was ‘only the two’ ballots that had been altered.” Read more on Stupid Oregon County Fires Election Worker Just Because She Added Republican Votes To Ballots…
  smiles everyone smiles

Smile, Pennsylvania, You No Longer Have To Suffer The Agony Of Voting!

Good video, Pennsylvania! Very melting pot and clear-skinned and chipper, we’re sure! There may be a little bit of an omission about how 10 percent of your voting populace won’t get to actually vote under your new voter ID law, but we’re sure if they just show up with the birth certificate and the marriage certificate and the name-change order from when they got their sex change and also four other forms of photo ID all notarized and with the raised seal (AND DON’T FORGET THE LONG-FORM!), they too can get state-approved papers in order to exercise their constitutional right of suffrage. Read more on Smile, Pennsylvania, You No Longer Have To Suffer The Agony Of Voting!…
  those facts are no longer operative

James O’Keefe Almost Sorry For Being One Hundred Percent Wrong In Latest Masterpiece, Ha Ha Not Really

It sure must have been embarrassing for young master James O’Keefe when every single part of his latest vote fraud video was laughed out of the room. (He said a dead dude was voting, but edited out the part where it was clear that it was the dead dude’s son, Dead Dude Jr., to whom the lady thought she was offering the ballot. Then he claimed noncitizens were voting because two guys said they weren’t citizens to get out of jury duty; at least one of them was naturalized between that jury duty date and the date of the election.) So how does one go about “walking back” claims that formed the entirety of his thesis? Perhaps with a quick apology and total disavowal, as did NRO on Friday when they accused Elizabeth Warren of plagiarism, whoops, except hers was the book that came out first? Sure, that’s what O’Keefe did: apologized and … HAHAHA DON’T BE RIDICULOSE! Apologies and retractions are for suckers! Read more on James O’Keefe Almost Sorry For Being One Hundred Percent Wrong In Latest Masterpiece, Ha Ha Not Really…
  burn them

Daily Caller Explains James O’Keefe’s Sting Of ‘Democrat-Friendly’ Vote Fraud By GOP Kids Voting GOP

James O’Keefe has a new video, you guys, and it is super-exciting because it shows how those horrible Ivy Tower LIEBERALS at the University of North Carolina didn’t fink on a “Democrat-friendly election fraud scheme” of a kid voting for both Romney and Gingrich! Huh? What it says, dudes. The first part of the video is about foreign-born people registering to vote but then getting out of jury duty by saying they weren’t citizens. Are they? It is impossible to tell (unless James O’Keefe actually wanted to go dig through microfilm, and that is not something an investigative journalist does)! Anyway, here is the more befuddling part of the befuddling video: GOP kids bragging about double-voting GOP, which is obviously Democrat election fraud, DUH. Read more on Daily Caller Explains James O’Keefe’s Sting Of ‘Democrat-Friendly’ Vote Fraud By GOP Kids Voting GOP…
  nepotism

Clinton Competing With Biden For Gaffiest Obama Official

OMG did you hear what Hillary Clinton said, in Nigeria? “You know we’ve had all kinds of problems in some of our past elections as you might remember. In 2000, our presidential election came down to one state where the brother of the man running for president was the governor of the state, so we have our problems, too.” Which is true, for sure, but sounds a little odd coming out of the mouth of the wife of a former president who wanted to be president herself but settled for secretary of state after serving as a senator of a state she barely lived in. [ABC News] Read more on Clinton Competing With Biden For Gaffiest Obama Official…
 

Bloggers Finally Affect Democracy

Seven long years after the blog craze began, otherwise-useless bloggers have finally had an effect on an election: They’ve kept shiny-haired squeaky-voiced oddity Sanjaya Malakar on the hit karaoke show American Idol, despite his inability to carry a tune. Read more on Bloggers Finally Affect Democracy…