• LETTER FROM A VIRGINIA POLL WORKER: Katie the Poll Worker writes, “The reason Fairfax County is taking so long is because there are two types of voting machines. People can walk in and decide to vote with a paper ballot (read like a Scantron test from high school) or on the robot machines. Which means that even though voting ended at 7, my polling place did not finish counting votes until 9:45. … And just so you know the thing that almost kept me from volunteering for democracy was not the long hours, but the inability to access Wonkette at all — all day long. Do you have any idea how hard it is to catch up on your website when there are 45,385 live blogs?!” Katie is the best Poll Worker in America.

MCCAIN VOLUNTEER CALLS MCCAIN A SLAVEDRIVER: This video at CNN is pretty funny, and we’d embed it here if stupid CNN actually had that feature. Now you will have to make an extra click, suckaz. It’s John McCain taking a question from one of his volunteers, a (satirical?) New Yorker who starts gently and proceeds to curse at him for the way he treats his volunteers (like shit). McCain, naturally, interrupts her with several “wisecracks” to lighten the mood. This is his only half-decent political skill, and it fails miserably here, ha ha. [CNN]

Do you have parents? Are they voting for Barack? Probably not. This is apparently a huge problem for his campaign: everybody wants to vote for Barry Obama, but nobody’s parents want to vote for him. Old people are hopeless.

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Every four years Democrats say they’re going to win elections by getting more young ‘uns and black people to vote, and every four years George Bush gets elected again. But this time will be different, says Barack Obama, because he is getting “folks” to register to vote and he will kick their asses if they don’t. MORE »