Wonkette

If Americans know one thing about the Foreigns (and sometimes that’s a near thing), it’s that they live in Foreign countries, which, obviously, are hellholes of awfulness and despair. Guess if they didn’t want to be crapped on day and night by a malevolent universe, they should have lived in America! This week, the Foreigns introduces you to some happenings overseas that we can safely laugh at only because they only happen to Foreign types, but otherwise they’d be pretty depressing. MORE »

Wonkette salutes an unidentified 64 year-old German man who had it up to here with the stupid rules about carrying liquids on airplanes. The poor soul was just trying to make his was home to Dresden from Egypt when airport security in Nuremburg told him he’d either have to pay to check his liter bottle of vodka or throw it away. In protest, the gentleman chugged the entire bottle while security watched. He didn’t make his flight to Dresden, but that’ll teach those young whippersnappers. [Yahoo News]

* Experience 10 “punk rock” text-message tours, part of this DC is the “Capitol of Punk” movement. [Capitol of Punk]
* “Take even the lowest level Hill staffer out, pour some vodka into him, and you’re guaranteed to come away with something you can use.” [The DC Universe]
* “My mom doesn’t know my birthday. She sent me an e-mail asking me to input my birthday into her online birthday reminder site.” [Secret Simmerings and Shameful Scandals of the Singular Smash]
* Inside the mind of one of our most gifted. [Roosh V]
* Eat and drink outside, by the water at Indigo Landing on Daingerfield Island. [metrocurean]

* Don’t read this while eating dinner. [Mr. T in DC]
* Sincerely, please treat yourself to the vodka and vampire lair that is Russia House. [DCist]
* “Why are there so many ‘cunty’ women in DC?” And this, more puzzling complaint: “Bartenders who have no power in life and therefore abuse what little power they have over the distribution of alcohol. I just want a beer bitch. And no, you won’t get a tip from me.” [Attention Span of a Fly]
* Related: “The bartender came right up to our group and said ‘Hey, I’ve been acting like a jerk all night and I’m sorry. I got in a fight with my fiance and it wasn’t fair for me to take it out on you. What kind of shots would you like?’” [WonL]
* How cold is it? [why.i.hate.dc]
* Marion Barry evades taxes, gets lingam massage. [The DC Universe]