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Posts Tagged ‘vito fossella’

REPUBLICANS

Drunken Failure Congressman Vito Fossella May Also Go To Jail

Monday, December 8th, 2008

Multiple Family ValuesComical freak/Republican Congressman Vito Fossella saw his whole weird life fall apart on May 1, when he was arrested for drunken driving in Alexandria, which somehow led to the revelation that he had a secret baby-mama, and his actual wife and children back in New York didn’t really love that revelation, but being a Republican he just decided to serve out his term in the House, because hey, it’s not like he tried to suck off a cop at an airport. (Oh wait, that guy didn’t resign, either!) MORE »


SEX CONTEST

Meet The 50 Hottest Pieces On Capitol Hill!

Wednesday, July 30th, 2008

Washington’s The Hill newspaper has published its 2008 list of the 50 Most Beautiful People on Capitol Hill, and yes, they were somehow able to find the requisite 50 people! We don’t really know where to begin with this. Checking out all the names and pictures takes long enough, and then there are little articles for each entry — long articles. So far the only sentence we’ve read, arbitrarily selected, was this: “It seems that when Coty Wamp, daughter of Rep. Zach Wamp (R-Tenn.), was 11, an alien invaded her body.” We dare not ask any further questions. MORE »


TWISTS OF FATE

Vito Fossella Can’t Catch A Break

Monday, June 23rd, 2008

He is trying so hard to get out of Congress and you won't let him, God.Vito Fossella, Staten Island’s beloved congressman, won America’s heart with his drunk driving, mistress-having, love-child-fathering ways. Of course, such a free spirit could not stay in Congress so he planned not to run for re-election. The Staten Island Republican Party searched and searched for somebody to run for Fossella’s spot, and all these people said, “Uh no thanks I have to floss my dog,” and finally a nice man named Frank Powers said “OK I’ll do it,” but now he is dead. Maybe our Vito will reconsider his retirement plans. Two more years! [SILive.com]


NEW YORK

Tuesday, May 13th, 2008

DRUNK, ILLEGITIMATE BABY-MAKING CONGRESSMAN IS PITIFUL: According to the New York Daily News, still-active Rep. Vito Fossella of New York, who likes to get drunk and make babies with women who aren’t his wife, is “hiding out in a tiny apartment above a garage at his sister’s Staten Island house.” [NYDN]


SCANDALS

Friday, May 9th, 2008

FOSSELLA TO RESIGN? Drunken Congressman Vito Fossella, who has a 3-year-old illegitimate child, will apparently resign within 72 hours. And that will be the end of New York City’s only Republican congressman. [WNBC 4]


TOP

Drunk Congressman Fossella Has Love Child!

Thursday, May 8th, 2008

It has not been a very good week or so for Drunk Congressman Vito Fossella (R-NY). Last week he was arrested in Northern Virginia for drunk driving. He was in Northern Virginia to go see his family, he told police — his secret OTHER family, that is! He acknowledged today that he had a child out of wedlock who is now three years old. So apparently he only visits that one while drunk? He has apologized to his wife and three “real” children, who unfortunately live in Staten Island, with him. [AP]


HOUSE

Thursday, May 1st, 2008

NEW DRUNK CONGRESSMAN: “Rep. Vito J. Fossella (R-N.Y.) was arrested overnight in Alexandria and charged with driving while intoxicated, court records showed today.” Rep. Cowboy McSteak (R-TX) escaped scot-free, however. [WP]


DEMOCRATS

Senator John Ensign: This White Man Can Jump

Wednesday, March 29th, 2006

Washingtonians enjoy watching basketball, especially given George Mason’s recent success. But they also enjoy playing it. A reader offers this report about last night’s Congressional Basketball Game: MORE »