Who Is Driving This Macaca Car, In Virginia?
Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008
Wonkette vanity plate operative “Anna” sends us this picture from some road in Fairfax, Virginia, of a racial car. We would like to take credit for the inspiration here. Is this former Sen. George Allen’s car, and HE TOO has taken up the Satire game? Or maybe the kid Allen called a “macaca,” this is his car. The latter would make more sense, since the modest amount of celebrity that incident gave him would, according to our Wonkette Fame=Money Algorithm, leave him with just enough cash to purchase a Honda CR-V.
Wonkette vanity plate operative “Anna” sends us this picture from some road in Fairfax, Virginia, of a racial car. We would like to take credit for the inspiration here. Is this former Sen. George Allen’s car, and HE TOO has taken up the Satire game? Or maybe the kid Allen called a “macaca,” this is his car. The latter would make more sense, since the modest amount of celebrity that incident gave him would, according to our Wonkette Fame=Money Algorithm, leave him with just enough cash to purchase a Honda CR-V.
Virginia won’t let The Gays get married, so this couple just walked into a courthouse and said “We would like to get married plz” and they got a marriage license and even got married, even though they were two dudes. (One of them had really nice skin, though!) And just like that, billions of straight marriages around America went kerplunk in an explosion of existential despair. 
Thanks to two brave Democratic state legislators, patrons of your friendly neighborhood Rustico restaurant in Alexandria, VA can now eat their brew pops in peace. What’s a brew pop, you ask? Only the most brilliant frozen food item ever invented, because it is made of beer. 
Do you know about the New World Order? It is a secret shadowy cabal of Illuminati elites who secretly run all the banks and the governments and the big corporations — so, exactly like the real, known world, but more secret-y. And tomorrow, they’re all meeting in beautiful Chantilly, Virginia. Let’s learn about the dark mysteries of the non-bitter elitists, after the jump. 
Our last, best hope for Washington — that it would be destroyed by the horrible emergence of subterranean monstrosities — came tantalizingly close to reality on Tuesday, when a 
CRAZY JIM WEBB WON’T NOT BE VEEP: 
Former Virginia Sen. George “Macaca” Allen filled out an NCAA Tournament bracket, and it is pretty, and he will share it with the world! Allen, however, is incapable of performing even the simplest tasks without being comical. He predicts #5 seed Notre Dame will beat #12 George Mason, but that is way too politically risky for his already destroyed political career in Virginia. So he scribbles in the margin, “tho for George Mason,” so you know where his heart is. And for #7 Gonzaga versus #10 Davidson, he predicts Davidson, against all mathematical odds! To highlight this brilliant prophecy, he writes “upset pick” in the margin. It seems he’s using all this free time to finally pass the first grade. [
Attention child pornography fans! Are you planning your next vacation? You’ll be in good company in Virginia, where over 20,000 computers contain your preferred reading materials! 