Hey college students! Want to shoot your friends? Transfer to one of Texas’ many fine public universities! MAYBE, soon, once this diddly gets passed on to the Texas House and the secessionist state president Rick Perry: “AUSTIN — A bill to allow college students and employees to carry their concealed handguns on campus won final passage today on a 19-12 vote in the Senate.” Damn right it did, and if there’s anyone to thank, it’s that mentally disturbed Virginia Tech kid who shot up his school a couple of years ago, with guns, on campus. MORE »

Ever since the Virginia Tech shootings, college teachers have been extra vigilant about expelling creative writing students who write typical teenage loser stories about suicide and alienation. At the very least, instructors face increasing pressure to notify parents, administrators, and health officials that these lamebots with their dark gothic tales will probably not get laid until they are released from mental institutions at age 30. MORE »

There’s only one thing America loves more than a tragic random shooting: the made-for-TV movies, wall-to-wall Greta Van Susteren coverage, novelized accounts, and inexpensive action figures that follow these embarrassingly frequent incidents. If you are one of the creepy losers who made a little scrapbook about the Virginia Tech shooting that you leaf through when To Catch A Predator goes to commercial break, you can probably answer the questions in this quiz. Otherwise, congratulations, you still may get laid this century. [MSNBC]

Attorney General Mukasey announced today that the FBI had added more than 220,000 crazy people to its list of people prohibited from owning guns that gun dealers are supposed to check - since June. Only 28 states currently provide the FBI with any data about dangerously mentally ill people who probably shouldn’t be toting guns around. [Washington Post]

* “Those white kids really know how to stick it to the man, the man’s wall, and the day laborer who repaints it. Stenciling a mailbox with cryptic messages that people ultimately ignore? Cue the bongo drums and finger snaps. DEEP.” [why.i.hate.dc]
* Servathon 2007 this weekend. [Read Express]
* R. Kelly is writing a song for Virginia Tech victims. “Can someone please arrest R. Kelly?” [Native Son]
* “Sometimes I think I’m that dude in the Bible…You know, Job, that keeps getting tested by God. Only I get tested by public transportation and the postal service.” [World Domination is Inevitable]
* “2400 Block of 16th St. NW will be closed for 6-8 hours avoid 16th St. NW if possible, please use routes.” [Blah, Blah Black Sheep]