virginia
Head Of Air Force Sexual Assault Unit Loves To ALLEGEDLY Sexually Assault Strange Women In Parking Lots
Oh, Air Force. Oh, Lieutenant Colonel Jeffrey Krusinski, chief of the Air Force’s sexual assault prevention and response branch. You have been arrested for (ALLEGEDLY) getting drunk and grabbing the tits and ass of a woman you did not even know in a parking lot. And yet it is in fact your job to prevent [...]
Liberty University Allows Guns For Jesus In Classrooms, Kissing Still Of The Devil
Happy Friday! Today in Who Would Jesus Shoot? news, it’s Liberty University! Bringing guns to school isn’t just for terrible tragedies anymore! Stand your grades, followers of Falwell, because this “University” says carrying concealed weapons to your Creationism 101 class is perfectly A-OKAY! Liberty University, the largest religion-affiliated U.S. school, is loosening restrictions for carrying [...]
Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli Really Doesn’t Want You Having Sex In Your Butts
In 2003, disgusting perverts like you celebrated the landmark 6-3 decision in Lawrence v. Texas, which invalidated laws against sodomy in Texas and across the nation. The Supreme Court ruling meant that you’ll only face God’s judgment for whatever foul things you and your consenting adult lovers do in the privacy of your basement sex [...]
A Children’s Treasury of Wacky Swing State Voter ‘Irregularities’
Greetings Wonketeers, and welcome to the day before the day before the beginning of the next four years of our lives! Yes, as of Tuesday we can hopefully stop hearing about Mitt Romney and Bronco Bama, and move on to either sighing with relief or planning our move to Canada. But first, let us pause [...]
This Is Not The Voter Fraud Virginia Republicans Are Looking For
Don’t Worry, This Terrifying Murder-Looking Dude Was Only Arrested For Throwing Away Voter Registrations
Whew! After getting a load of that mug shot, you are forgiven for gathering your children close in your embrace. There’s evil out there in the world, and some of it destroys voter registration forms in Virginia. Psycho shower scene squeak knife sound! But it’s cool, it’s cool! The Rockingham Sheriff, according to TPM, is [...]
Pollster To O’Reilly: Romney Is So Far Ahead In Invisible Polls That I Quit
David Paleologos, director of polling at Suffolk University, has “pulled” his pollsters out of Florida, North Carolina and Virginia because it is simply impossible for Barack Obama to win. Paleologos said the movement towards Romney in the three states was “overwhelming.” Obama was in particular trouble in Florida, where even before last week’s presidential debate [...]
Virginia GOP Group Definitely, Definitely Not Racist
There are probably, somewhere, very reasonable members of the contemporary GOP who are genuinely interested in improving political discourse in a way that is constructive, well-reasoned, and responsible. You could find them, if you looked. A tip: Don’t bother searching in Mecklenburg County, Virginia. Turns out, the people running the local GOP outfit there are [...]
Your Morning Nice Time Post: Roanoke Car Dealer Does Not Douche On Gay Person
Now that we have had our fill of sheriffs who want to murder abortionists and hurricanes who want to murder me, here is a nice story from Edge on the Net, about a gay college kid who keeps getting his car vandalized by good Christian (presumably) folk, who among other things (and because they are [...]
Did The Secret Service Thank This Wingnut Baker For ‘Standing Up’?
By now many of you are familiar with the story of the greatest motherfucking American of all time, Chris McMurray, the Virginia bakery owner who turned down a requested stop from Vice President Biden yesterday over President Obama’s “YOU DINNT BUILD THAT” comment. He did build it, see! He makes cupcakes and stuff, with his [...]
Virginia Idiot: ‘Sea Level Rise’ Newest Left-Wing Plot
Al Gore, besides inventing the Internet and lying constantly about that thing he said that was 100 percent correct, is also responsible for other terrible crimes against humanity. Do you know what they are? They are taking facts, like that the sea levels are rising, and making them terrible words only liberals use. Yes, the [...]
Virginia Kills Judge’s Nomination Because He Acts Like He Is Married … To A Man!
Did the commonwealth of Virginia kill the judicial nomination of Tracy Thorne-Begland because he was gay? DON’T BE RIDICULOSE! No, it is just because as a gay naval officer he was outspoken against Don’t Ask Don’t Tell! And also because he acts like he is married … to a man! “He holds himself out as [...]
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