So there is a 17-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia. He has (had?) a 15-year-old girlfriend. She sent him pictures of her plump blossoming bosoms or whatever, so he sent her video (probably a Vine?) of his junk. Now the police want to take him to a hospital, shoot his dick full of Love Potion No. […]

Hey, gross old Virginia Dem Joe Morrissey, were you boning your teenage secretary, and asking her to send you pictures of her muff, and otherwise being gross and disgusting? You were not? It was LESBIAN HAXXORS who planted those sexts in both your teenage inamorata’s phone and yours, including the instant classic “OMG I just […]

Hey, y’all hear about this burgeoning crisis of little children sent by their anguished, desperate parents alone to America? If your sole source of news is this here Wonket, you didn’t, because “unaccompanied minors flooding into the nation by the thousands and then getting locked in tiny baby jails” is not easily festooned with dick […]

Here is sad old Mississippi Sen. ‘Sad Thad’ Cochran, two full days after the Stunning Virginia Primary Upset That Changed The American Political Landscape Forever, politely admitting that he has no idea whatsoever about the result, since “I haven’t really followed that campaign very closely.” After all, it’s just another House campaign, why would anyone […]

For once, Jon Stewart said Wednesday, a news story lives up to the hype on cable news: Eric Cantor’s surprise loss to an unknown tea party Brat really was pretty spectacular. After all, Cantor was the 4th most powerful Republican in Washington, right after “Mitch McConnell, John Boehner, and an AR-15- that fires baby eagles […]

We’ve been putting off writing about this all night, not because we don’t know what to say, but because we wanted to let the anticipation build, to feel a thrill up our leg, to see starbursts, and savor that first perfect moment when we type these words: HOUSE MAJORITY LEADER ERIC CANTOR LOST HIS FUCKING […]

We have a new entry into the coveted Wonkette Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year Award! His name is Phillip Puckett, and he was until very recently a Democratic state Senator from the Commonwealth of Virginia. That is, until some GOP senators gave him this nice bunch of cash for his daughter’s wedding a real nice […]

The gaypocalypse is upon us. We have seen the signs, from judges competing to see who can write the most elegant fuck you to the religious right when legalizing gay marriage to Common Core turning all our children gay. And Washington, DC (the city and people that live here, not the asshole Congresscritters you flyover […]

Open wide, Idaho, because we’re cramming some big gay homo marriage right down your throat! (Try relaxing your jaw and breathing through your nose.) Late Tuesday a federal judge in Boise struck down Idaho’s gay marriage ban, declaring a referendum passed in 2006 that enshrined the principle of one-heterosexual-man-one-heterosexual-woman marriage in the state constitution out […]

Virginia may be for lovers and mandatory ultrasounds, but it is not for girls who give daddies impure thoughts in their pants with their slutty prom dresses. A 17-year-old Virginia girl said she was kicked out of a prom for homeschooled teens because she aroused “impure thoughts” in some adult male chaperones. [...] The Richmond […]

Well here’s an update on a dude we first heard about way back in 2010: Virginia State Delegate Bob Marshall said back then that he believed that God punishes women who have abortions by sending them disabled children when they have later pregnancies. Here’s how it works, he said: “The number of children who are […]

This young lady is Adrionna Harris, a sixth-grader at Bayside Middle school in Virginia Beach, Virginia. And she is a pretty decent kid who did a pretty cool thing: last week, when she saw a classmate cutting himself with a snap-off blade segment from a utility knife, she took the blade away from the boy, […]

As recently as last November, there was a chance that Ken “the Cooch” Cuccinelli might have been elected Governor of Virginia. He’d knocked good-kind-of-boring Republican Lieutenant Governor Bill Bolling out of the way by convincing the Virginia GOP to call off the primary and select its slate of candidates at a statewide wingnut convention instead. […]

The KKK just wants to be understood a bit better, as indicated by flyers they’ve left on people’s driveways in Chesterfield County, Virginia. You see, a lot of people may have misconceptions about the Klan, but those are just sadly outdated stereotypes, say the flyers, which insist the group is nonviolent, definitely not a hate […]

We all know that every problem in America can be blamed on the liberals, with our absolute belief that man-on-dog-on-snowman sex should be taught as Biblically sanctioned in second grade classrooms. Let’s just face facts — we liberals love us some LGBTQs, and we have no bigger champion in our fold than Senate Minority Leader […]