Barack Obama came back from his secret (or not-so-secret at all!) vacation in the Virgin Islands today and, as expected, immediately whined to reporters: “It has been a little over a year; about 15 months now, since I first announced that I was running for president. Since that time babies have been born and are walking and talking … I know it seems like it’s been long for you, imagine how it feels for me.” Alas, he has once again revealed how little he knows about the media. No humans in history, Barry, hate their lives more than the depressed, smelly, twitchy, grumpy, loud, self-important, perverted stenographers that make up the traveling political press corps. [ABC News]

DUMB FOOTAGE YOU MUST SEE OF BARACK ON VACATION: The Journalistic Reporters at CNN.com have made the stupidest video in at least two days, and you can view it here. It is Barack Obama resting, and talking on his cell phone, in the Virgin Islands. The cameraman gets scared and runs away and then starts filming again, and this happens several times. There is literally nothing interesting about this CNN.com video. We have watched it 12 times. [CNN]

Barack Obama has been spending the “long weekend” in the Virgin Islands with his family, including the two children he abandoned to pursue his career (as is Obama family tradition). Then this little white girl found Obama, who probably is having some intellectual breakdown about race now, given all the various colors of children running around. [The Page]